Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

miserly_mum

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

i think if i get married i'm going to need to have my own account otherwise we'd be screwed

Ok i'm dying to know.......WHY?

Jomo

kbleigh wrote: »

I am not married, but have been with my partrner for just over 5 years. We have recently bought a house together.

My partner earns over £26,000 a year, I earn £14,600. But he insists that everything - bills mortgage etc is split 50/50, even petrol money when we go on a journey together - even if the journey is less than 5 miles, we split the petrol.

As you can probably tell I do not neccessarily agree with this, but when I question it I feel like I am being mean, and not wanting to pay my way. However I completely understand where many of you are coming from as it is a big issue in our relationship, and often makes me question our future together.

WOW, are you going out with my ex?

Only joking, I know you aren't because I finished with my ex less than 5 years ago but it could easily have been!!!

I think he is being a bit unfair there, it should at least be 60/40 split!

In my opinion

The_Banker_5

miserly_mum wrote: »

No way......you'd be the Ring Master

And what part would you play?;)

miserly_mum

The_Banker wrote: »

And what part would you play?;)

OH says i'd should be the sword swallower as i'm good at sticking big things down my throat :rolleyes:

That's his pocket money suspended for this week :rotfl:

jsaver

The way we have always gone about this is as follows:

My OH and I have a huge number of joint commitments (house, feeding the family, getting to work, paying for insurance, holidays, utilities, nights out together - the list goes on and on). We also have our own individual wants i.e. beers down the pub, CDs for me; clothes, flowers etc for her. While my earnings have totalled 3-4 times hers over the last 5 years (2 maternities!), I have always believed that we should have the same amount of money to spend on our individual wants, but only when there is enough money left over after catering for our joint needs.

So, all of our incomings get totalled up every month (salaries, benefits etc), and all of our outgoings totalled. OH and I both then get an agreed identical amount from whatever is left, and anything extra goes into savings. If there is less left over, then we get a smaller amount each, and nothing goes into savings. If outgoings exceed incomings, then we agree on an amount that we can draw down from savings.

Guess what we have a spreadsheet, and it works very well. But we do have to exercise discipline in noting down ALL outgoings and incomings. All expenditure comes out of a single account, which happens to be mine but needn't be. Anything non-personal that my OH pays for in cash she gets back at the end of the month.

It works for us and always has done, and is fair. Why should my wife be penalised financially in any way for our mutual decision to have children, and her not earning much money for a period of time?

I confess our incomings/savings have been sufficient to cover outgoings in the long run including the 2 maternities, which makes life a lot easier. But I have certainly never begrudged being the major breadwinner; being a SAHP is not straightforward.....

jsaver

kbleigh wrote: »

I am not married, but have been with my partrner for just over 5 years. We have recently bought a house together.

My partner earns over £26,000 a year, I earn £14,600. But he insists that everything - bills mortgage etc is split 50/50, even petrol money when we go on a journey together - even if the journey is less than 5 miles, we split the petrol.

As you can probably tell I do not neccessarily agree with this, but when I question it I feel like I am being mean, and not wanting to pay my way. However I completely understand where many of you are coming from as it is a big issue in our relationship, and often makes me question our future together.

This approach seems pretty rough on you. I would question him on whether he would be comfortable if the roles were reversed. What happens if/when you have a child?

brazilianwax

[quote=[Deleted User];24142623]But what if for the sake of argument you earned half. I'll bet things would be different then?[/QUOTE]

Why? It wasn't when I did

paulfoel wrote:

Please tell me your young. There must be an excuse for your naivety....

I'm over 30 and not naive (nor do I need patronising)

paulfoel wrote:

It happens, love. I used to earn about £200,000 a year working as an independent IT contractor. Then I got ill and it went down to zero. Unfortunately, no insurance in the world is going to cover that.

Sorry to hear that. We have enough savings and insurance to cover us in the vast majority of circumstances.

paulfoel wrote:

Willy waver alert !!!!

I've said more than I needed to on this thread. I think it's unfortunate that you are unable to see that one size does not fit all - marriage means different things to different people. I was brought up to be independent, and married or not, that's a big part of who I am. I make no apologies for it.

System

miserly_mum wrote: »

Ok i'm dying to know.......WHY?

i have BPD...and one of my "reckless" behaviour's is spending sprees.... i also have "hyper" episodes where i dont even remember buying things

Fingers crossed by the time i'm married i will have sorted it all out!

GettingHitched

Oh and I have lived together for 2 years, and just a year away from being married.

We dont have a joint account, I pay £375 every month, plus I buy all of out food and pay for our (joint) pets ( as well as the scaly ones )

I dont see how anyone can judge anyone elses set up, if you dont know the ins and outs of how and why.

Oh's mum and dad have been married for donkeys years and still have seperate accounts

The_Banker_5

GettingHitched wrote: »

Oh and I have lived together for 2 years, and just a year away from being married.

We dont have a joint account, I pay £375 every month, plus I buy all of out food and pay for our (joint) pets ( as well as the scaly ones )

I dont see how anyone can judge anyone elses set up, if you dont know the ins and outs of how and why.

Oh's mum and dad have been married for donkeys years and still have seperate accounts

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees:


William Blake