Splitting the bills 50/50, my money, your money - Please your married !!!!

The_Banker_5

zippychick wrote: »

Seriously, you are kidding. Winding us up. Pulling our legs. That is one of the most A**lly retentive things I have ever heard. :eek: So if you were a SAHM for eg, what would happen then?

Run, run, run, as fast as you can.

Itemising receipts? Calculator , miles, online multimap? Get out while you still can.

It has to be a joke, i refuse to believe someone would live their lives like that.

If you got married and given cash, would he keep the money HIS Parents , and you the money from yours? Jeesh. Where do you draw the line.

It can't be true! Tell us you're kidding.

I hope she is kidding zippy.:D

flea72

zippychick wrote: »

Question - I own my own house. If i (currently single) , if I ended up falling for someone who didnt own their own house, and had debts, would i then be expected to hand over half ownership of my house, and take on his debts?

just reading this it made me think out loud.

no, you wouldnt be expected to hand over half your house. But at what point after them moving in, do you think they should get some return. ie, once they move in, your bills will be shared, they prob will contribute to the maintenance of the house, furnishings, etc.

It is for the above reason i dont think anyone should move into someone elses house. You should always start with a joint property that you equally own, so there is no ambiguety about who owns/pays for what. You get to keep the equity from the sale of your house, and can then decide when this money is ok, to use for both your benefit

As for taking on someone elses debts, if it means your life if improved by them having more spending money, then i dont see why you cant help pay off a partners existing debts, because if they move in with you, unless you are mortgage free, they will be helping pay towards your mortgage, so in a way, they are helping clear your debts too

From the way you are refering to having to give them half you house, is your viewpoint the same if you were married to them, or is this just in reference to short-term co-habiting.

Flea

zippychick

flea72 wrote: »

no, you wouldnt be expected to hand over half your house. But at what point after them moving in, do you think they should get some return. ie, once they move in, your bills will be shared, they prob will contribute to the maintenance of the house, furnishings, etc.

It is for the above reason i dont think anyone should move into someone elses house. You should always start with a joint property that you equally own, so there is no ambiguety about who owns/pays for what. You get to keep the equity from the sale of your house, and can then decide when this money is ok, to use for both your benefit

As for taking on someone elses debts, if it means your life if improved by them having more spending money, then i dont see why you cant help pay off a partners existing debts, because if they move in with you, unless you are mortgage free, they will be helping pay towards your mortgage, so in a way, they are helping clear your debts too

From the way you are refering to having to give them half you house, is your viewpoint the same if you were married to them, or is this just in reference to short-term co-habiting.

Flea

Dunno Flea, i don't agree or disagree with what you have said. It's a hypothetical situation of course.... I just am so proud of myself for owning a house and paying off my debts, hypothetically it would sting to start paying off someone elses debts and share my very very hard earned equity IYKWIM?

But then again, i am only thinking out loud, and there is no love of my life yet. I'm sure if I met him, things would look completely different. This thread has made me wonder, that's all

flea72

zippychick wrote: »

hypothetically it would sting to start paying off someone elses debts and share my very very hard earned equity IYKWIM

You can always protect your interests, i did when i met OH i provided the deposit for our first house, so we had the paperwork arranged so i laid claim to more of the property than him (but then again when we set up home together, neither of us expected it to be long term, due to various circumstances, so protecting my money, seemed important)

however after 5yrs of mortgage payments, which predominately were paid by him as i was a sahm, meant he had paid more towards the house, than i had with my initial deposit, and as we were now married, who owned what didnt really matter any more

i suppose what im saying is, if you are thinking about a relationship with someone, getting precious over money isnt a good foundation if you plan on things going the long mile. If you have savings/money you honestly have more fun sharing it for both your enjoyment, than sitting back and watching your partner struggle financially

Flea

kbleigh

Honestly I am not kidding,I wish that I was.

He has explained why he is like this, his mum and dad split up and the divorce was horrendous, because there was their house that went back in his mum's family for generations, but that his dad had spent £1000s on extending and renewing almost everything in it. Then there was a business that his dad owned, but that his mum had put revenue into. Throughout the whole divorce proceedings his mum would tell him what was happening with regards the problems with 'splitting the assests' and so my other half is now adament that everything now should be 50/50 so that there are no arguments if we ever did split up.

As I mentioned previously my dad cannot believe the way that money is handled in our relationship, when I have spoken to him about other things in the relationship my dad always goes back to the money side of things. I never thought that it was such a bad arrangement as he made out, but obviously seeing your replies on here it is.

I always tend to think " It could be worse, at least I know that he is careful with money, and is not in debt"

flea72

kbleigh wrote: »

" It could be worse, at least I know that he is careful with money, and is not in debt"

hes not in debt, because you are supporting him. He isnt careful with his money, hes careless with yours

Flea

nearlyrich

kbleigh wrote: »

I know you are being sarcastic, but my dad finds our arrangment in terms of food hillarious, so I have to reply. We both go grocery shopping together, he pays at the check out. Then when we get home he goes through the receipt and adds up everything that I have bought, then tells me how much it costs and I give him the money for it. I guess it is fair. Yes we do halve the cost of the things that we both use like milk. LOL. If only they made half pennies, our shopping bill would be so much easier!

We do live together.

At the end of every month he works out how many miles I have travelled in the car on multimap then uses an online calculator to work out my share of what the petrol costs would be!

I am questioning the future of the relationship as over five years and no proposal is a bit questionable (in my case anyway because he knows I want to get married).

:eek:That's shocking even though we don't share all our finances we are not so tight as to work out who pays for which items at the supermarket, might start charging him for the Marmite :rotfl:

OfficeSpace

For us it's pretty simple. We each have a separate current account into which our salaries are paid. We then transfer a given amount into a joint account that pays for all the bills. We've split our contributions to this joint account by the % of our combined income we earn. I earn 70% of the joint income after tax etc so i pay that % of the bills. I've adjusted things a little so that we have a similar amount of money left at the end (in her favour rather than mine) and everyone is happy.

pboae

The only set-up I find weird and unfathomable in marriages is the one that says their way is the only way and anyone who disagrees is wrong/uncommitted/odd.

How do people who are that inflexible make a marriage work through the inevitable changes and disruptions of a shared life over, perhaps, decades?

There are as many ways to manage your money as their are marriages (and any other type of long term relationship). It's interesting how other people work it, but why does it always have to turn into a pi$$ing contest about which method proves you have the 'best' marriage? :rolleyes:


EDIt: oh I forgot to say, OH and I are obviously uncommitted and in a failing marriage, because we have seperate accounts as well as a joint account. Wish I'd known that before we splashed out on the anniversary dinner last night. We both put 50% in to pay the bills, the rest is ours to spend. If 50% isn't enough, the one who earns more makes up the difference, or we both tighten our belts and make up the difference. Our wages are very variable so it just depends on who's bringing what in at the time. If one of us isn't working they spend out of the joint.

MrsE_2

pboae wrote: »

There are as many ways to manage your money as their are marriages (and any other type of long term relationship). It's interesting how other people work it, but why does it always have to turn into a pi$$ing contest about which method proves you have the 'best' marriage? :rolleyes:

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

Bl00dy well said:beer: