Buddiebabe's SOA / Debt Diary

buddiebabe

To be honest i don't think he ever intended to come and see me again. If im honest i think things started going downhill when i told him about my debts. He'd always said he made good money and offered to help out but was never able to get the bank....:rolleyes:

I only found out through speaking to her that he doesn't have a good job and they struggle for money to pay the rent. Now id always been told he sold his house but it turns out he's never owned a house in his life.

I know its for the best but it just makes no sense. Its all the unanswered questions. I just need to draw a line under it and try to get over it... its going to take some time but i just have to do it

Buddiebabe x

Snaggles

Hi Buddiebabe, you might not feel like it, but you are really coping very well. I think the worst bit must be not understanding why he did this, and as you say, it will get better, you just need to give it time.

The best revenge you can have is to live your life and be brilliant - he isn't worthy of you and never was.

ZTD

buddiebabe wrote: »

To be honest i don't think he ever intended to come and see me again.

Not while things were going ok with her. If they'd split up...well...

That's the sense it makes to me. IMHO he wasn't expecting to live his life with you, but you were insurance for other things.

Think venally... :eek:

As Snaggles says - start living your life now - your real life.

Seaxwyn

Hi buddiebabe

I don't agree with ZTD that you were an insurance policy, I think this man must have a serious personality disorder to sustain a lie over such a long period. I shudder to think that he may have been stringing other people along with similar lies.

I can see that the not understanding why must make the pain worse, and make it harder to accept and move on. But you do need to put it behind you. And be glad the truth came out when it did and you are not still ensnared in someone else's fantasy life.

I hope the ebay auctions go well - it's great that you have something concrete you can claim back from that experience.

buddiebabe

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Hi buddiebabe

I don't agree with ZTD that you were an insurance policy, I think this man must have a serious personality disorder to sustain a lie over such a long period. I shudder to think that he may have been stringing other people along with similar lies.

I can see that the not understanding why must make the pain worse, and make it harder to accept and move on. But you do need to put it behind you. And be glad the truth came out when it did and you are not still ensnared in someone else's fantasy life.

I hope the ebay auctions go well - it's great that you have something concrete you can claim back from that experience.

Thanks for that. I think its highly likely that there is at least one or more person out there that he is deceiving including himself. Even the doctor thought he was nuts!

The not knowing why is whats making me feel so bad as there is no reason for it and i'll never know now.

One day i hope i can look back and laugh about it but that day seems a long way off.... but i know i will get there.

Im hoping to get some money back from the stuff i'd bought for him. Not sure what to do with it yet. I want to keep it seperate from my usual ebay money but cant decide what to do with it .... then again i will need to wait and see if it sells first before i start making any decisions.

buddiebabe

I got my Debenhams statement today and have paid £80.00 towards this. So in total this month i have paid £770.03 towards my debts :j

Only problem is i have my RBS credit card direct debit of £220.00 due on the 6th May. At the moment i only have £100.00 towards this.

I get paid from my 2nd job on the 27th April and again on the 4th May but as im going to be off sick for 3 days i've lost 3 nights wages and one from last week which means im really going to struggle to find the extra £120 i need.

I have £1 in my purse at the moment but don't intend to go anywhere today or 2moro except to pick up some clothes from someone through freecycle (and my sisters going to drive so it wont cost me anything) im due back at work on Friday and i've not put petrol in the car yet i should have enough to get me to work on Friday and Monday next week but know i will need to put petrol in the car at some point.

I haven't got much food in the house but will try and make it last till i get paid on the 12th May which is 15 days away..... i have no idea how im going to manage that but i've not been eating that much anyway so hopefully it will last. At some point i will go and make a list of everything in my cupboards i don't need to worry about the freezer as it only has 4 fish cakes in it and the fridge has flora and tomato sauce

If i don't put the money away for my car £20 and house £10 then i could use that for the next 2 weeks but it still won't cover the petrol. Im loathed to use a credit card to pay for it as the only one i still have is my Skycard which has available credit but also has one of the highest interest rates. I have £100 saved for xmas but know if i use this money or the money i have saved for the car £320 or house £81 i'll end up not paying it back.

Maybe im worrying about nothing and i'll have a big lottery win tonight which will solve all my problems (but knowing my luck it will be my old set numbers that come up) i only changed them as they meant something to me and my ex so iv decided to go for a lucky dip every week instead of set numbers.

I've got over 250 items listed on ebay but only 16 selling at the moment and not for alot of money most just 99p each and if im listing alot on ebay over the next few days im going to have to pay the fees with the money that comes in...... i cant win

Im sure i'll get there in the end. Just seems like an uphill struggle at the moment.

Buddiebabe x

Snaggles

Buddiebabe - if you need to buy food, just do it, even if it means using the card. The main priority is staying healthy, and not eating wont do you any good. You have achieved so much this month and coped with a lot as well, so don't be disheartened.

What are the car/house savings for - are they a sort of emergency fund? I think running out of food and not being able to afford any more would class as an emergency.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for some good eBay profits for you xx

buddiebabe

Snaggles wrote: »

Buddiebabe - if you need to buy food, just do it, even if it means using the card. The main priority is staying healthy, and not eating wont do you any good. You have achieved so much this month and coped with a lot as well, so don't be disheartened.

What are the car/house savings for - are they a sort of emergency fund? I think running out of food and not being able to afford any more would class as an emergency.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for some good eBay profits for you xx

Thanks

The car savings are for MOT, Insurance, Servicing and Road Tax as i've always had to use a credit card for these before and i want to have this so i don't need to do that again. The house savings are for Insurance, Gas bill, Tv licence and enough for insurance excess incase its needed.

Im going to see what i have in my cupboards and try and make up a meal plan at some point.... well i'll attempt it to see what i can come up with out of the cupboards. Im going to go make something to eat just now i've just realised i've not had anything to eat today and its nearly 3 o'clock

Buddiebabe x

Snaggles

Well, if you've got some bread, you can have fishcake butties with ketchup!

Seriously though, do look after yourself, you WILL get through this xxx

Take care,

Love Snaggles xxx

buddiebabe

Well i just found some eggs in my fridge my mum must have put them in there... i don't particularly like eggs but im going to make a few boiled eggs and mash them up and i've got a loaf of bread again must have been mum.

so im going to have an egg sandwich!

The tablets the doctor has given me have really calmed me down. They're making me really tired but the good thing is i haven't broke down since Monday night....i think 2moro's going to be the hardest day as that will be a week since i found out. Im trying to keep myself as busy as possible i've photographed alot of things to put on ebay but at the moment am struggling to find the energy to put them on.

I think i'll leave it till later on this afternoon and the effects of the tablets are wearing off as i seem to have quite a bit of energy after about 4 hours..

I cant wait to hear about the birth of your baby snaggles i've been reading your thread daily but haven't really had much of interest to say so havent posted on it but i read every day just so i dont miss anything. Good luck and you look after yourself.

Buddiebabe x