Will council rehouse 16 year old if we throw him out?

aliasojo

rchddap1 wrote:

Some people write posts that seem more like essays.

.................

sashacat

things will get better if you keep the boy (because that's all he is) at home where he belongs as much as any other member of the family. Please try to reintegrate him as he certainly won't be able to fend for himself if you " ask him to leave"...how exactly does this differ from throwing him out. Would you feel differently if you were his father?...would he?

LondonDiva

sashacat wrote:

things will get better if you keep the boy (because that's all he is) at home where he belongs as much as any other member of the family. Please try to reintegrate him as he certainly won't be able to fend for himself if you " ask him to leave"...how exactly does this differ from throwing him out. Would you feel differently if you were his father?...would he?

Well done Michaels for taking time out to get things off your chest. I think there have been some useful suggestions that you could look into, starting with an honest discussion with your partner (I'd have some tissues handy for you both!)

Whatever you decide to do, I would resist the guilt as portrayed above and also the temptation to think that any decision is final - things can & do change in time.

Please seek advice from organisations that are expert in this area, I can't think of the name of the one in my head at the moment. I would also recommend approaching the social services department for advice, support and information.

A lot of the work they do is around supporting families before breakdown and in helping during transition periods.

The very best of luck & please feel free to post more if you need a vent.

:grouphug:
Diva

margaretclare

michaels wrote:

We have given him a room, we have put up with physical and verbal abuse, we have sought and attended counselling, we have been supportive with his school, we have encouraged the school to give counselling, we have supported him with all the text books, tuition, computers that anyone can advise, we have accepted his treating the house like a hotel, we have accepted his appaling personal hygiene - however I do not like the fact that he does not bother to try and control his temper even in front of the babies and that is why we are thinking about this step - and hence why I came here for advice. It is not the financial aspect of getting the council to 'look after him' that I am thinking off, it is for the safety of my family.

I apologise if I upset you. It was just the terminology you used, and it's not the first time I've heard people talk about 'throwing him/her out'. Couldn't you have said something like 'we are thinking of asking him to leave and we don't want him to be sleeping in the street - does the council have any responsibility for housing him?' Talking of 'throwing him out' conjures up an image which makes my blood run cold.

'Treating the house like a hotel' - I thought that was what all teenagers did? (LOL). About personal hygiene - my DH in his first marriage had 4 children, 2 of his and 2 by her first marriage. The eldest of these was the worst at personal hygiene to the extent of being downright disgusting. DH would dig out things from under her bed by following the smell, and he often resorted to the black bin-liner treatment. That young woman went on to qualify as a nurse, midwife and health visitor and is now a nurse specialist in A&E, a bit like Charlie in 'Casualty' - she goes out with the paramedics. DH's stepson is a serving police officer, his own son and daughter are doing very well indeed.

Controlling his temper is something else again.

Again, sorry if what I wrote upset you.

Margaret Clare