How much should I charge my dd for housekeeping etc?

McKneff

Little_Otter wrote: »

Can I be the on the DD's side??
I am a young person living at home, i find it hard to pay board. petrol. car insurance, phone bills, dental direct debit, and then have money left for myself.
It used to be a third of my wages which was £240 a month - my wages have gone up and down but the board stayed the same, until my mum realised I was never in and never ate her food (always at OH's house) so it went down to £120 no food inc just bills and the room - which I never sleep in, and I dont use the house phone. Anyways - i've just left my 2nd job and only have 1 small income now, so I'm paying £70 per month - to my step dads disgust - but I ask - why would I want to skrimp and save up board for my parents (the full amount) and not be able to go on holiday or go out with my friends at my age - that is why I still live at home and dont have a landlord! I contribute as much as I feel I should and can afford (I do all my own cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, and sleep at home 1 night a week if that)

if you only sleep at home one night a week, where are you staying the other six and are you paying towards the food, leccy, water etc at your second home, if not, you should be.

Quote - why would I want to skrimp and save up board for my parents (the full amount) and not be able to go on holiday or go out with my friends at my age -quote.

I wonder how much your parents scrimped and scraped over the years,
not being able to go on holiday because they were feeding and clothing you.
Oh, the selfishness and thoughtlessness of the young always astounds me.
edited to read 'most of the young'

Idiophreak

Aspiring wrote: »

May I just ask - are you an only child? Not that it really makes the slightest difference, I suppose.

Nope, have an older sister who also spent three years at home repaying her debts after her masters, she left a little while after I got back.

kindofagilr

Stick with your £50 a week.

I have always paid board, I paid £150 a month until Nov 2006 then my brother moved out (he also paid £150) and I knew it would be tight for mam, so I upped it to £225 a month, then I met OH and he practically moved in with us from Sept 07 and I upped it again to £300

OH on the other hand has never paid board and he has no concept of money whatsoever.

Maybe you should point out to her that £200 a month wouldnt even cover rent in her own place nevermind bills etc

Aspiring

McKneff wrote: »

if you only sleep at home one night a week, where are you staying the other six and are you paying towards the food, leccy, water etc at your second home, if not, you should be.

Quote - why would I want to skrimp and save up board for my parents (the full amount) and not be able to go on holiday or go out with my friends at my age -quote.

I wonder how much your parents scrimped and scraped over the years,
not being able to go on holiday because they were feeding and clothing you.
Oh, the selfishness and thoughtlessness of the young always astounds me.
edited to read 'most of the young'

Up to a point, I do agree with you; but, I can't help thinking, "you reap what you sow".

If the "child" has a selfish and thoughtless regard towards their parents, money, responsibility etc just how much of the blame lies at the feet of the parents in the first place?

erichamster

Glen0000 wrote: »

My aunt said that after her kids left her sex life was the most amazing she had in years and I can imagine why.

There is no doubt that having another person in your home imapcts on a marriage, no matter how much you love that person.

I am so looking forward to being able to make love to my wife wherever and whenever I want or to share a shower, a sensual massage, without fear of a key in the door. I am sure many, many married couples feel the same.

Shouldn't you have thought about this before you had children? As far as I know they're not actually compulsory.

jellyhead

I wonder how those who are badly affected by a drop in tax credits when a child finishes college are going to manage when that child moves out? if you can't afford ordinary bills I mean. A friend of ours had serious problems after one of her daughters (at college) moved out, because she couldn't manage on her wages without the top-ups that came from having her daughter in the house.

She used to complain that the daughter didn't give her enough board money (she had a part time job) but the reality was that her daughter was not costing as much as she was bringing in.

Aspiring

jellyhead wrote: »

I wonder how those who are badly affected by a drop in tax credits when a child finishes college are going to manage when that child moves out? if you can't afford ordinary bills I mean. A friend of ours had serious problems after one of her daughters (at college) moved out, because she couldn't manage on her wages without the top-ups that came from having her daughter in the house.

She used to complain that the daughter didn't give her enough board money (she had a part time job) but the reality was that her daughter was not costing as much as she was bringing in.

Then she would need to either get another job, or take in a lodger or find another way to meet the shortfall.

jellyhead

Yes, that's what I suggested. She doesn't seem to have a long term plan though, seems shocked by the drop in income. She won't always have children, and will have to manage to pay the bills on her own some day without the help of tax credits.

I_am_mad

You are pretty focused on your own needs though

again judging me when you dont even know me! I am focused on myself yes but at the same time i look after my mom and my family members well and if they need something even though i dont have much myself, i will give it to them!

Paying rent is something which is a part of life and everyone well almost everyone will have to pay their parents at some point. my friend doesnt pay anything and she comes from a family of 6 who all dont pay anything and the mom is struggling as a single mother and when asked nicely if they can contribute they have all said no i dont want to and the mom leaves it at that, now thats not fair. But i think it is because she is very timid and doesnt like to ask for things this being the mom.

at the end of the day i admit i was selfish when first asked to pay rent but after talking and discussing it i no longer mind and often will give more here and there when i can!

Aspiring

jellyhead wrote: »

Yes, that's what I suggested. She doesn't seem to have a long term plan though, seems shocked by the drop in income. She won't always have children, and will have to manage to pay the bills on her own some day without the help of tax credits.

That's a great pity that she hasn't thought through the longer term. She really should consider her personal future as an independent woman with no dependents at home. Hope she realises sooner rather than later and way before the youngest child leaves home.