How much should I charge my dd for housekeeping etc?

yorkygal

My folks used to ask for 15% of mine and my sisters wages - albeit a few years ago though

Glen0000

Idiophreak wrote: »

My living there didn't, however, cost them anything, as I paid my keep.

There are more "costs" to having an adult child living at home than money. It is the loss of independence that really impacts on parents, not the financial cost. This is something you and many "kidults" clearly fail to understand.

You can live your own life and be in debt, have kids, even not have a job! I could not wait to have my own front door key and it puzzles me why so many young (and not so young people) don't crave this anymore. I know many young people of 22+ still with parents. To me that is unhealthy. It is natural to want to fly the nest and I hope that by 20 my daughter will feel more than ready, despite any obstacles, as life is not one debt, free, worry free holiday. It is tough sometimes and the sooner you learn this the easier it will be to cope when you lose your job/marriage breaks down etc etc.

Idiophreak

Glen0000 wrote: »

There are more "costs" to having an adult child living at home than money. It is the loss of independance that really impacts on parents, not the financial cost. This is something you and many "kidults" clearly fail to understand.

I'm sure this is just my "kidult" mind talking, but my parents actually like me - they enjoyed having me around and found it very hard when I eventually left. I can't imagine in what way I robbed my parents of their independence, but I'm sure you know better than I do, being a "proper grown-up" and all that. :rolleyes:

ShaneUK

I think you are being entirely fair.

When I was first starting work at age 16 I was living with my aunt and uncle, and they charged me 50% of anything I earnt - it was horrid. One job I had (this was before minimum wage!) paid £2 per hour, and I was working 70+ hours a week most weeks just to have some money.

Glen0000

Idiophreak wrote: »

I'm sure this is just my "kidult" mind talking, but my parents actually like me - they enjoyed having me around and found it very hard when I eventually left. I can't imagine in what way I robbed my parents of their independence, but I'm sure you know better than I do, being a "proper grown-up" and all that. :rolleyes:

My aunt said that after her kids left her sex life was the most amazing she had in years and I can imagine why.

There is no doubt that having another person in your home imapcts on a marriage, no matter how much you love that person.

I am so looking forward to being able to make love to my wife wherever and whenever I want or to share a shower, a sensual massage, without fear of a key in the door. I am sure many, many married couples feel the same.

Pssst

Madmonk-point your daughter over to https://www.spareroom.co.uk and let her see how much you could rent her room out for !

£50 pw sounds very fair to me.

Susan_Frost

Maybe turn it around and say how lovely it must be for her to have over £150 per week (£600 per month) pocket money.

Just remind me OP - how much do you spend purely on yourself each month?

MMMMmmmmmm thought so. £50 is more than reasonable.

And dont just ask her what she thinks to that amount. Tell her that is what it is.

Any more arguments, get the 12 months worth of gas, elec and phone bills added together. Plus the rough amount for supermarket bills. Divide by three people and say that is what it costs to keep her. Her contribution can be £50 a week or whatever that amount came to. Her choice.

I would not include mortgage as it is your house not her's, although it is her home.

tiamai_d

I_am_mad wrote: »

Speaking from a point of view where I pay to live with my mom. I pay 20 pounds a week and my boyfriend who lives here also pays 60 pounds a week so all in all its 80 that my mom gets. I dont mind paying this as it is taken out of my student loan so I dont miss it.

But having broached the subject of I dont think its fair to take my money off me when I get a full time job, my mom says she will be taking alot more off me when i have my job, which ok is fair but not really as its the first time i will have ever worked properly for my own money. I dont know if she would consider letting me have the first 3 months off, I will have to ask. The only thing I think is this is the only time i will have to enjoy spending my money on whatever i like as in a couple of years i will have my own house/children.

Speaking from experience I dont think any parent should demand money off their children just talk about it together and come to a comprimise as other wise the child may feel begrduged to give away any money and it may cause a rift!

You will have to pay the loan back, out your wages so how is it different paying board from a loan to paying board from wages?

And is it fair on a parent to pay for your electricity usage, hot water, food, washing powder, while you go off and keep all your money to spend freely?

I don't think anyone should expect to live for free, regardless of their situation!

Barneysmom

Going all the way to back to 1978 when I started work, I earned £57 a week and gave my mom £30 for my keep. I didn't begrudge it at all as I know I wasted most of my money on clothes, make up and Friday nights out.

So a little over half what I earned went to my keep.
I think £50 is not enough, I wish I get get all my bills paid on that little :cool:

I_am_mad

Why do some people get so irate about this topic, I dont think its fair to call people bratts when they dont want to pay, I dont mind paying but its the way the parents go about it, in my experience i was told i had to pay and there was no talking about it which was not very nice.

Yes I understand that my mom would like to enjoy herself and she does, and yes I will have a shock when i come to move out and i am paying alot of money on rent and things! But I dont think its fair for some of the people to make such comments as you dont know individual circumstances. Having read comments such as people being greedy as they dont want to share their money, my first pay packet will be special to me after spending 3 years in university and its not that i dont want to give it to my mom for rent but i would like a bit of lee way, i am far from greedy! so its not nice to be judged!