How much should I charge my dd for housekeeping etc?

tara747

Idiophreak wrote: »

Well, that all depends how you view things, I suppose.

You can view it as A) "what's it costing us for johnny to be living here?", or you can view it as "johnny's living here too, why doesn't he pay the same as us".

Obviously, the mortgage is often the sticky point - I'd have been quite happy to pay 1/3 of the mortgage, but I'd have expected to end up with equity in the house, which most parents wouldn't be too thrilled about.

Personally, it's because of the point above that I never really felt I was "in shares" in the house, so was happy to stick with option A.

What if the equity was negative? Just playing devil's advocate...

Very interesting thread btw!

irishgirl62

I think £50 is about right I am on working and child tax credits and they deducted £52 a week off me when my DD left school!

Doom_and_Gloom

Madmonk my partner an I pay £60/week (£30/week each) or around £260/month together keep as we are living at my parents. We pay enough to let my parents break even. No more and no less. If £50 a week will cover her then I don’t see the problem at all with the amount. If you are losing out I would very much point that out to her and make it obvious that she can pay the £50, pay what it costs to cover her costs or leave and pay for her own place. I’m sure she will see reason then.

For those of you saying to pay an equal share in all of the bills - my partner and I couldn’t pay half of my parents mortgage as that would be over £500/month for us just for that! My partner doesn’t even earn over that unless he does loads of overtime. My partner and I used to live in a flat share and it cost us £130 each on rent alone and over all I spent around £200/month including rent, CT, electric, food (the basics really) which was all I really had a month.

Madmonk I think you should tell your DD that just over £216/month is good to cover everything really. It usually costs around £300/month for rent alone on a studio flat so if she thinks you are ripping her off she is sadly mistaken. Your DD’s boyfriend sounds very ignorant to how the real world works and sounds like he is going to be in for a real big shock when he leaves home and has to pay for everything for himself. They may be young adults at the moment (so am I really at 20 and to a point so is my partner at 23) but I think the time before young adults leave home is the main time to learn about budget.

miamoo

When my DS gets a job I will take 50% of his wages. Keep 25% for his board and save 25% without him knowing for his first place.
If you set the board to low, they will want to live at home forever, and then get a shock when they realise how much all the bills are.

Idiophreak

Poppy9 wrote: »

quite honestly if you raised a child that askes for equity in the family home then there are obviously issues in the family.

I quite agree...If you, as a parent, expect your children to pay an equal share of the mortgage while you're collecting the equity, you've got problems.

I'd have never have asked for equity, as it's ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than my parents expecting me to pay their mortgage for them.

Poppy9 wrote: »

As a parent I love my child dearly and would give her the world, however I don't expect to be treated as a cash cow by her.

..yet it's fine for parents to treat their children as cashcows? :rolleyes:

Poppy9 wrote: »

I don't think anyone has mentioned children heaping misery on them and it's not about making extra money off them.

Sorry, but if you're expecting a child to pay an equal share of your mortgage, it's *all* about your greed and your desire to get more money out of them.

Poppy9 wrote: »

A parents love is unconditional and constant, doesn't a child feel the same love towards their parents? Are some children so ignorant that they don't see that their parents are /should be retired and not still working to support them?

I'm sure some children are that ignorant, but in most cases parents are still working *to support themselves*.

Gavin83

miamoo wrote: »

When my DS gets a job I will take 50% of his wages. Keep 25% for his board and save 25% without him knowing for his first place.
If you set the board to low, they will want to live at home forever, and then get a shock when they realise how much all the bills are.

Unless he's working part time or earning next to nothing he'd actually be better off moving out, or is that your intention?

Poppy9

Idiophreak wrote: »

I quite agree...If you, as a parent, expect your children to pay an equal share of the mortgage while you're collecting the equity, you've got problems.

You seem very focused on what a parent is gaining from having adult children in the home contributing to their household bills of which the mortgage is one. If your parents took in a lodger would you tell them that they should give the lodger a share of equity proportional to the amount of time they are there and contributing?

Idiophreak wrote:

I'd have never have asked for equity, as it's ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than my parents expecting me to pay their mortgage for them.

I haven't seen anyone asking for their children to pay a share of the mortgage on this thread but they have asked that their working children contribute to household bills. The mortgage is a household bill just the same as if the parents were renting and paying rent.

Idiophreak wrote:

..yet it's fine for parents to treat their children as cashcows? :rolleyes:

Wow asking a child for £50 per week and leaving them with £150 per week while providing accommodation, food, laundry service/facilities etc. is ripping off your child. Each adult living in the home usually knows each others circumstances and you would expect them to each act responsibily and not selfishly.

Idiophreak wrote:

Sorry, but if you're expecting a child to pay an equal share of your mortgage, it's *all* about your greed and your desire to get more money out of them.

Now where did I say I expected my child to pay an equal share of mortgage? In fact I am mortgage free next year.

My parents were mortgage free when I lived at home too but my father was semi retired due to ill health and my mother worked just 15 hours a week. Would it have been right if I had kept 75% of my pay for just my own benefit while they found money tight? Should I have left them to pay my Poll tax (which was then based on no. of adults living in the house) too? My parents didn't have to ask me for X amount of money, I offered what I thought was appropriate once I was working full time

Idiophreak wrote:

I'm sure some children are that ignorant, but in most cases parents are still working *to support themselves*.

So that's okay then that you can see your parents working to support themselves so they might as well continue supporting & subsidising their adult off spring.

Do you know I realised today after reading some of these posts how lucky I am. My DD (14) wanted to get her haircut today. She made an appointment and I asked her how much it would be and she said £25. I said I would meet her in my lunch hour and give her the money and she said "no it's okay I have money". The only money she gets is £35 pocket money that we give her monthly plus we pay for her mobile phone contract. Bless her, such a generous soul and a lovely offer from her though she did let me pay!

tara747

Poppy9 wrote: »

My DD (14) wanted to get her haircut today. She made an appointment and I asked her how much it would be and she said £25. I said I would meet her in my lunch hour and give her the money and she said "no it's okay I have money". The only money she gets is £35 pocket money that we give her monthly plus we pay for her mobile phone contract. Bless her, such a generous soul and a lovely offer from her though she did let me pay!

That actually brought a tear to my eye! She sounds lovely.

Idiophreak

Poppy9 wrote: »

I haven't seen anyone asking for their children to pay a share of the mortgage on this thread but they have asked that their working children contribute to household bills. The mortgage is a household bill just the same as if the parents were renting and paying rent.
.....
Wow asking a child for £50 per week and leaving them with £150 per week while providing accommodation, food, laundry service/facilities etc. is ripping off your child.

You're being quite obtuse and deliberately argumentative.

My post, that you partially quoted, clearly stated that I would only discuss equity in the property if paying *equal* amounts to my parents, including equal mortgage payments...so someone *was* talking about children paying a share of the mortgage - I was.

I've stated before that I paid my parents £50 per week and that this is a fair amount. That is vastly different, however, to a child giving up 1/3 of their income, or 1/3 of the household bills - either of which would be orders of magnitude greater than your £50 per week.

Anyway, you've obviously got me branded as an ungrateful little brat in your head, which is fine, bet you feel better about yourself now. Woo.

Idiophreak

Atomised wrote: »

Of course , I just mentioned the extra costs as he forgot that part. He said he'd bought a house with his girlfriend , I wonder if he would be happy signing over a share to a friend who wanted to rent a room for a year or so?

I'd probably just charge them a lesser amount, remain wholly responsible for the house and keep the equity to myself. Which is what my parents did