How much should I charge my dd for housekeeping etc?

jellyhead

Glen0000 wrote: »

I have always said we cant afford to provide for more kids, not that I dont want anymore. There is a big difference

We have thought about "splitting up" as we would be a lot better off, but knowing me I would get caught.

It would be confusing for your children too. The stability of having daddy come home for tea after work each day is worth a lot

iamana1ias

Glen0000 wrote: »

We dont get anything. Even if my wife was to give up work. Unless I am looking in the wrong places for info.

That seems very very wrong. Perhaps you should post your SOA/some details and people will be able to tell you what you might be entitled to.

Have you checked https://www.entitledto.com?

Glen0000

iamana1ias wrote: »

That seems very very wrong. Perhaps you should post your SOA/some details and people will be able to tell you what you might be entitled to.

Have you checked www.entitledto.com?

Yes. I earn £36k, wife earns £8k

We get about 10 a week now tax credits. It would go up a little for the first year, but not by much and only for a year. My wife would get her maternity benefit for 6 months, but after that nothing as she would want to give up work as msot of her wages would go on childcare anyway. Unless I am doing the calcs wrong.

Glen0000

jellyhead wrote: »

It would be confusing for your children too. The stability of having daddy come home for tea after work each day is worth a lot

We wouldnt really spilt up, just say we live apart, like a lot of people do. Anyway it is not an option, not for us anyway.

iamana1ias

Glen0000 wrote: »

Yes. I earn £36k, wife earns £8k

We get about 10 a week now tax credits. It would go up a little for the first year, but not by much and only for a year. My wife would get her maternity benefit for 6 months, but after that nothing. Unless I am doing the calcs wrong.

Statutory maternity is now 9 months (and I think increases to 12 months next April but could be wrong) and while on it you'd get more tax credits (child tax credit for 1). You must also be getting child benefit at about £20 per week?

Could your wife work full time now that your daughter is older? Could build up some savings or kill off some of your debt before the expense of a baby. Just a thought.

Glen0000

iamana1ias wrote: »

Statutory maternity is now 9 months (and I think increases to 12 months next April but could be wrong) and while on it you'd get more tax credits (child tax credit for 1). You must also be getting child benefit at about £20 per week?

Could your wife work full time now that your daughter is older? Could build up some savings or kill off some of your debt before the expense of a baby. Just a thought.

Our debt will be clear in 18 months anyway. Even with no debt it would be hard to manage on just my wage.

I know we are better off than some, but we have been in poverty and dont want to go back. It is a nice feeling to be able to pay all your bills/not worry about christmas etc.

becs

Jellyhead,
the point I was making was that with other friends that we have for dinner the invitation is reciprocated and we go to theirs for a meal taking it in turns etc. Obviously with these friends they can't do that as they live with parents so we would have thought now and again they could make an effort to return the invitation by maybe taking us for a pub meal or similar. Nothing flash. These friends were coming round for sunday lunch every single week so not just a one of dinner party every couple of months. Also bearing in mind these friends have appx £2000 disposable income a month between them so wouldn't have thought we were asking too much? I too would take a bottle of wine, flowers or chocs or something when invited for dinner but then as I say we would then invite our hosts back to ours on another occassion. Is it me or is that not normal ettiquette? It just felt a very one sided deal with an awful lot of taking and no giving on their part. If they were in the situation where they had bought their house and of course they then had little or no disposable income then that would be an entirely different situation. It just seems at the moment there is no appreciation of how much having them round every week has cost us. It's not that we can't afford it just that we feel we're being taken for a ride.

jackieb

becs wrote: »

Jellyhead,
the point I was making was that with other friends that we have for dinner the invitation is reciprocated and we go to theirs for a meal taking it in turns etc. Obviously with these friends they can't do that as they live with parents so we would have thought now and again they could make an effort to return the invitation by maybe taking us for a pub meal or similar. Nothing flash. These friends were coming round for sunday lunch every single week so not just a one of dinner party every couple of months. Also bearing in mind these friends have appx £2000 disposable income a month between them so wouldn't have thought we were asking too much? I too would take a bottle of wine, flowers or chocs or something when invited for dinner but then as I say we would then invite our hosts back to ours on another occassion. Is it me or is that not normal ettiquette? It just felt a very one sided deal with an awful lot of taking and no giving on their part. If they were in the situation where they had bought their house and of course they then had little or no disposable income then that would be an entirely different situation. It just seems at the moment there is no appreciation of how much having them round every week has cost us. It's not that we can't afford it just that we feel we're being taken for a ride.

Why don't you scale back on the amount of times you ask them round - or stop altogether? My grandma always says you don't give to get, and if it's bugging you, then don't do it anymore. I agree it would be good manners if they reciprocated, but maybe they're saving hard for their own house.

becs

Thanks JackieB,
We have stopped altogether. This couple also never buy a round in the pub when we are out and 1 of them gets a lift into work every single day with my DH. She contributes nothing to petrol and never takes it in turns to drive so I feel it's more than just saving for the house. I too agree you don't give to get and never would I expect it, however in some circumstances when someone is having dinner every single weekend with you, staying over in spare room to save £10 taxi fare home, not sharing petrol costs or driving when being given a lift into work, not buying drinks when out in the pub etc I do think it is taking the mickey somewhat! This has been going on for 2 years now and they have NEVER even offered to take us for a cheap meal. They go to pizza express on the buy 1 get 1 freee wednesday deal nearly every week and have never asked if we would like to join them. They are just selfish preferring to spend their money on them. They have at least 2-3 foreign holidays a year and as I say go out for meals etc at least once a week so it's not that they can't afford to just that they choose not to.

Poppy9

I'm amazed it's taken you 2 years to get peed off. Next time you are out with them suggest a kitty as this forces "round dodgers" to contribute.