20 week scan

ella_ella_ella

What a sad, sad story. My thoughts are with the OP and her family x

Mely

Chris...im so sorry for whats happened, i really am. I have been through the same thing with my 2nd child, and even though i went on to have 3 more healthy children, he has never been forgotten, and its been 17yrs. I dont find it easy to talk about in 'real life', and its all locked away in my mind most of the time,which i know isnt good. I think this is because i didnt have counselling and now i feel that it would have helped me so much to have had it. Im saying this as i STRONGLY advise your daughter to go for counselling, as in retrospect it would have helped me enourmously, and im sure it would help her. Also (and please dont take this the wrong way),but i wouldnt advise her to possibly try for another baby too soon. She needs the counselling first and to come to some kind of stage of recovery about whats happened first (i havent put that across too well, but you know what i mean).
You are all in my thoughts,
Much love & big hugs, Mel xxXxx

Saint_Chris

Thank you for your messages and pm's

I've not been on here much, spent a bit of time with my daughter and been back to work.

I will look into the councelling thanks

xxxx

scott_lithgows

Me and my now wife were told at this scan that our unborn had a form of spina bifida in 2004.Basically it affected the head and meant (bluntly) that there was nothing above the eyebrows,we were given the option of a termination or carrying it to term with a 0.01% chance of the child surviving more than an hour.We opted for the termination and were treated brilliantly in the Queen Mothers in Glasgow.
Counselling etc has been covered above but if I could add one thing,after we lost the wee girl we went away and got married,honeymoon etc,in hindsight it would probably been better if we had starting trying for another kid after a time to grieve and then following the guidence given to us by the Scottish spina bifida association with regard to the higher dose of folic acid etc
My wife will still not talk openly about what happened and thats even after the birth of our boy last year.In hindsight I,m glad we named the wee girl but sorry that we have nowhere to mourn her,I make a monthly donation to the Scottish spina bifida association and I,ve found that has helped me deal with what happened.We are resolved to having a wee girl in the future as we regard it as "unfinished business".
Best of luck.

Stephb1986_2

Sorry to hear about this, Your daughter made the right decision for her it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

Thinking of you all at this sad time

RIP Little one

Steph xx