"First Date" discussion - can anyone help?

Pssst

blinko wrote: »

dates in general should be 50/50 otherwise the other side ends up feeling like they have been taken for a ride, and generally if you can't share the bill....what kind of groundwork is that for a relationship ??

even if you are getting sex out of it at the end of the night, it just ends up feeling like your paying for it which isnt a nice feeling.

OMG..call me old fashioned if you like but i would never go out with a girl for a meal or drinks in the expectation of bedding her. I would be going out with her to share her company, to talk,share experiences etc.

RE finiance girl-My apologies, my posting was an attempt to differentiate between normal girls and gold diggers. Of course i wouldnt mind paying on a first date with a normal girl. What I wouldnt want to do is waste time with some gold digger who thought i should pay for the very pleasure of her company . ROTFL..

I wouldnt feel comfortable with a girl who "put out on a first date". Sex is too important to be experienced in such a frivolous manner. Having said that, if it just naturally happened, that might be ok. I certainly wouldn't be boasting to my mates and thinking how big and clever i was. I'd have too much respect for the other person for me to do that. Its very childish.

financegirl

Pssst wrote: »

OMG..call me old fashioned if you like but i would never go out with a girl for a meal or drinks in the expectation of bedding her. I would be going out with her to share her company, to talk,share experiences etc.

RE finiance girl-My apologies, my posting was an attempt to differentiate between normal girls and gold diggers. Of course i wouldnt mind paying on a first date with a normal girl.

ROTFL - Wow - pretty impressive

I wouldnt feel comfortable with a girl who "put out on a first date". Sex is too important to be experienced in such a frivolous manner. Having said that, if it just naturally happened, that might be ok.

ROTFL - even more impressive but you need to make your mind up, you sound very confused, your moralss are telling you one thing, but then "if it just naturally happened, that might be ok".:rotfl::rotfl:

flowerscotland

financegirl wrote: »

It's time to pull up your knickers and zip up your purses.:o

Love it hun :T:rotfl:

Great advice

becky_rtw

I've always offered to pay (the whole bill not half actually!) but I've only been taken up on it once - guy who said 'oh wow actually next week is payday but I just couldnt wait any longer to ask you out'

I dated him for a year and he ended up paying a lot more often than I did overall just because he liked to

Generally its fine if a guy wont let me pay - I just buy us some drinks at the bar later, or if they offer to go halves thats fine with me too - but I've always enjoyed eating out so just see a date as dinner and company to be honest and I'm happy to pay for my dinner at other times so why shouldnt I on date?

However, I do earn a reasonable wage and have a decent disposable income ...I think its different if someone invites you to the most expensive place in town - then they can ruddy pay!!!

Luckily have OH now - no more dating for me - I like to think we split stuff 50/50 as much as possible

woody01

brokeinwales wrote: »

Well there is always that...

But you know, you go on a date with a guy, you kind of assume (well, hope, actually...) that he's going to expect it at some point!

Never been on a date with a guy...........hope i never will either being a bloke

GSXRCarlos

Ok, so i don't come across as a completely ignorant pig, let me explain my own situation:

I've known this girl for 6 months, we share some mutual friends and have been hanging out and flirting quite a bit. ended up at hers one night, and the flirting got more serious, hence spending the night with her.

We didn't go on our "first date" until a couple of weeks later - which i paid for, might i add. at no point did i expect to get her into bed, i have a lot more respect for her than that. infact two nights after our first date we just slept together (in the true-est sense of the word) and cuddled.

I'm not sure i agree with peoples comments about a girl putting out on the first date or not, it just depends on the feelings / mood, and any past friendships etc. But I do agree that if this was a first date after meeting them once in a pub, then i'm not sure i'd like to end up in bed with them the first night anyway.

PS: i'm 25 and male, all comments above are null and void because i am a man - lol

brokeinwales

woody01 wrote: »

Never been on a date with a guy...........hope i never will either being a bloke

Well at least after this discussion you'll be well prepared if you do :rotfl:

Originally Posted by financegirl
It's time to pull up your knickers and zip up your purses.:o

But you know, I kind of like sex actually... If I have to not do something I enjoy to prove my worth, well that seems like the kind of guy I wouldn't want to be with anyway. (That's not to say I make a habit of doing it with everybody I meet, or on a first date - just that sometimes it feels right and I don't think I should be worrying about "ooh has the correct period of one month gone past yet?". IMO it doesn't matter when you first do it, as long as you are actually ready for it and want it, rather than doing it to impress or to manipulate.) Is there some kind of weird battle of the sexes where part of the game is witholding what the other person wants? That sounds kind of wrong to me.

Anyway. I logged on to mention my recent experience. The guy I've been dating recently - been out a few times, he's paid for everything. A few days ago he mentioned that I had never paid for anything (in contect of the conversation it wasn't as confrontational as it sounds). I replied jokily "Well I'm a girl so maybe it's not my job". He said he'd never heard anyone say that before, but didn't seem to see it as a bad thing. Then I bought him an ice-cream.

You know what - I'm actually starting to think it doesn't matter as long as you're both OK with whatever you do...

GSXRCarlos

as all financial situations, it depends on you own circumstances.

Broke in wales - wanna go on a date?

brokeinwales

Broke in wales - wanna go on a date?

Hehe - thanks for the offer, but I'm holding out on my current date (I know he has a cute bum!)

galvanizersbaby

brokeinwales wrote: »

Well at least after this discussion you'll be well prepared if you do :rotfl:



But you know, I kind of like sex actually... If I have to not do something I enjoy to prove my worth, well that seems like the kind of guy I wouldn't want to be with anyway. (That's not to say I make a habit of doing it with everybody I meet, or on a first date - just that sometimes it feels right and I don't think I should be worrying about "ooh has the correct period of one month gone past yet?". IMO it doesn't matter when you first do it, as long as you are actually ready for it and want it, rather than doing it to impress or to manipulate.) Is there some kind of weird battle of the sexes where part of the game is witholding what the other person wants? That sounds kind of wrong to me.

Anyway. I logged on to mention my recent experience. The guy I've been dating recently - been out a few times, he's paid for everything. A few days ago he mentioned that I had never paid for anything (in contect of the conversation it wasn't as confrontational as it sounds). I replied jokily "Well I'm a girl so maybe it's not my job". He said he'd never heard anyone say that before, but didn't seem to see it as a bad thing. Then I bought him an ice-cream.

You know what - I'm actually starting to think it doesn't matter as long as you're both OK with whatever you do...

Re the highlighted bold - weird game, no I don't think so - each to their own but some people like to get to know somebody better before they engage in any sexual activity and going out on dates is a way to go about this - I don't think there's anything wrong with that personally.

If I'm honest your whole approach to the dating/relationships thing sounds a bit weird to me - when you first posted I assumed you were very young but I'm not sure really.

I'm glad your current dating experience is going well and I think you are right about it not mattering as long as you are both OK with whatever