Need some advice

galvanizersbaby

The_Banker wrote: »

As soon as she meets the right one she will want his kids.;)

I think at the moment she is just living in limbo.;)

You are a wind up merchant Banker

The_Banker_5

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

You are a wind up merchant Banker

Hey I represent that.:p

glossgal

[QUOTEtiamai_d

I agree with you about the effect that the OP's views may have on other people on this specfic forum - especially the posters who unfortunately are currently posting on the "The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)" thread. [/QUOTE]

Sorry but why should any OP hold back on their comments/opinions because of what another group of unrelated people may think? Don't get me wrong, I'm not really fond of the tone OP has been adopting but the fact she 'hates' children whilst others are desperate for them is really irrelvant and is, if I may so, an example of the snooty guilt-trip attitude often displayed against people who dare to say they don't like kids! If she were posting on that thread then of course it would be in bad taste but she isn't so I don't see the problem.

I'm completely and utterly not trying to conceive-ever lol- so can I be upset by the above thread? Offence is not the privelege of parents you know!!....

Frugalista

glossgal wrote: »

[QUOTEtiamai_d

I agree with you about the effect that the OP's views may have on other people on this specfic forum - especially the posters who unfortunately are currently posting on the "The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)" thread.

Sorry but why should any OP hold back on their comments/opinions because of what another group of unrelated people may think? Don't get me wrong, I'm not really fond of the tone OP has been adopting but the fact she 'hates' children whilst others are desperate for them is really irrelvant and is, if I may so, an example of the snooty guilt-trip attitude often displayed against people who dare to say they don't like kids! If she were posting on that thread then of course it would be in bad taste but she isn't so I don't see the problem.

I'm completely and utterly not trying to conceive-ever lol- so can I be upset by the above thread? Offence is not the privelege of parents you know!!....[/QUOTE]

Well said!! :T

cbrown372

Neither does having a different opinion to parents make the original poster a troll but many seem to think so.

It seems to be a word brought out on all these boards to newbies should your opinion differ from others.

iceicebaby

I didnt want children when I was 23, or 33 for that matter. I was adamant. I too was horrified by nappies, babies dribbling, babies crying etc. (not as strongly as the OP I may add!)

Now I am 35 and I have changed my mind and am having problems getting pregnant.

I'm not sure what I am trying to say here maybe that in time you may change your mind, so dont close your mind to ever having children.

Marcheline

Marcheline wrote: »

Indeed, it seems a bit odd to me that he would say something like he did a) knowing you had planned on having no children and b) knowing about the previous pregnancy.

OP, what I meant with point b) was that although you have no issues with the morality of the act last year, I doubt it would rank among your top 10 favourite experiences. From this point of view, coupled with point a), it was insensitive (in my opinion) for your boyfriend to say he now "wouldn't mind children", that's what I meant. Hope it's clarified now.

Lunar_Eclipse

Greenmachine wrote: »

I don't subscribe to the notion of a subconciousness.

Why not? Has it not been scientifically proven?

spaghetti_monster

I post now and again on the aforementioned ttc 12+ month thread (I had a miscarriage recently and it was a great help to me). I don't find that I'm offended by the OP's comments (have read most but not 100%).
I have absolutely no problem with people not wanting to have children (have a few friends in that camp), or expressing their opinions on it.

I do find the OP's opinions a bit immature, but that's OK. Children are messy and inconvenient in many ways, there's just all the other sides to it which she doesn't see/get. Maybe one day she'll change, maybe not.

I would say just stick to a good contraceptive method that suits (it's not that expensive or inconvenient) and don't get sterilized.

Gavin83

Just out of interest, what are the good points to having children? Maybe it'll give the OP a bit of perspective.

I don't really believe she should hold back in order not to offend other posters, she hasn't written anything which should be offensive. I could understand that a couple who really want a child may find someone stating they hate children upsetting but that isn't really the OP fault. It just seems like she's taken all the posters who have said 'Oh, you'll change your mind' and written as many extreme comments as possible to push forward to viewpoint that she'll never want children.

I've done a similar thing in the past and although I still don't feel I'll never want children Im not quite as aggressive about my defenses these days. If the subject comes up and someone suggests I'll want them one day I just state that I can't see that happening but if it does then fair enough.

To the OP, Im sure you two will be fine and you seem to share similar opinions so I wouldn't worry about it. If there does come a time he wants children then you'll have to deal with it at the time and part ways. I really don't think it's a good idea to have them just to keep him happy though, I still reckon that would end up splitting you up.