It's all over, can't cope anymore

dreamcatcher73

I suppose it comes to something when you're resigned to posting your life history on a forum in a last ditched attempt to make some sense of it all.

I have tonight, come to the conclusion that I can't cope anymore, with my life and the way I am living it. I have tried to change, but it's no good. I have messed up time and time again and now I have come to the end.

Past history: husband left about a year ago, lost my job, ended up bankrupt. Since then I have struggled day to day just to exsist and to make things worse in my life I have been gambling on online bingo sites. My situation now? About to have my bank account closed down because I am overdrawn, I have no money, no job, bills to pay etc. I don't know where to turn to get myself out of this hole. I have borrowed money from friends and family, not knowing how I'm going to pay it back, and t top it all off, my ex wants us to try again. Which would be great if I wasn't in such a mess! If he knew, he would run a mile, so I have messed up my only chance of being happy again.

I am such a failure, I can't see what to do next, it's all such a mess.

I expect I shall be slated for this post, I don't care, nothing could hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself.

Not really sure what I am asking, just needed to write it all down I guess

louise3965

I wont slate you, you're still standing and that deserves apat on the back. There's no money problem that cant be solved, but coming clean is the hardest bit. Are you getting the benefits you are entitled to firstly, just so you can get by?

Hardest to solve though will be the head stuff? Why are you gambling etc? Do you know what's behind all this?

Mozette

Get your ex over and tell him. If he's up to much he'll support you; if not, at least you know where you stand.

You can change, you just need to decide to and do it. Don't make excuses, mean it and do it.

I'm assuming as you don't say otherwise that you're in good health. That really is something to be happy about, so start there.

Truly I do speak from experience, only you can change, it's not easy, just do it one step at a time.

Good luck.

AlwaysWorking

Hey, no one will slate you...I would hope we're much more caring than that. You sound very depressed - would you consider talking to your doctor? I'm sure if your ex loves you (and he must to want to try again) he will not 'run a mile' because you're in debt - and if he does, he certainly wasn't going to make you happy.

doelani

Sorry your feeling so down tonight.

dreamcatcher73 wrote: »

I expect I shall be slated for this post, I don't care, nothing could hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself.

I doubt if anyone will slate you for posting here, many of us do it when we are feling like you do. How much does your husband know? Does he know about the bankruptsy?

You say he will run a mile, are you sure? He must still have feelings for you if he wants to try again , he may be able to help as keeping these feelings to yourself will not help.

Perfect10_2

Can't you talk to your ex about your money problems? If you think he wont want you anyway you have nothing to lose and he might surprise you. Do you have any family or friends who could help you out short term? Really feel for you, it's horrible when nothing is going right all at once. Sure someone will be along with some useful advice. Sending you big hugs x x x

Poppy9

You have had a !!!!!! year, as have thousands of other people.

On the positive side you have faced upto your problems so now is the time to start addressing them.

You obviously have good family and friends who have helped you out, well now is the time to confide in one of them and ask them to help you to help yourself.

Not sure why your OH left you but decide if you really want to let him just walk back into your life. What if he changes his mind again etc.

dreamcatcher73

I know he would run a mile because of the gambling and the lack of trust, I have hidden it up til now and I guess I was hoping to sort myself out and no-one would be any the wiser..

I am getting all the money I am entitled to but just wasting it, like an idiot. I am trying to sort myself out, I am actually glad my bank account will be closed as it will stop me wasting money. I want to change and move my life on, I am sick of living like this.

Debt wise, I guess it's not a fortune, about £900 altogether, but right now it seems like a mountain. What will the bank do? I know they will close the account, but how long will I have to pay them back? I'm so worried, don't know how I'm going to pay the bills that are by direct debit without a bank account.

I feel sick

pinkshoes

Firstly, be honest with your ex. Tell him the EXACT situation - you don't know it's over until you tell him the truth and let him make up his own mind. He might even choose to help and support you.

Where are you living?

You need to get some routine in your life. Get up early, find a job, or volunteer, or go on long long walks... make sure you are busy ALL day. That way there will be no time to gamble online, and no time to sit around feeling miserable.

Walking is excellent for clearing your head and thinking.

Poppy9

dreamcatcher73 wrote: »

I know he would run a mile because of the gambling and the lack of trust, I have hidden it up til now and I guess I was hoping to sort myself out and no-one would be any the wiser..

If he really loves you he would want to help you, especially for £900. Don't sell yourself short.

dreamcatcher73

I can't tell my ex, he will walk away from me, I know that.

I really wanted to turn my life around after the bankruptcy I thought it would be a new start, it's just got worse..