Alcohol self help thread II

habibi_2

jayne.doe wrote:

with due respect lewt you have no idea about my sister. I do, and she is not an alcoholic i feel she is being brain washed into believing she is. I have never seen her so unhappy.

I actually got offended the other nite because tbh, i found yours and habibi tone somewhat moralistic when it comes to preaching about aa. Its rather like the mormons who knock on your door. They never listen to anyone elses faith but their own. I actually believe you have done brilliantly and admire that. I choose my own path in life and do not have to account to anyone how much i choose to drink.

Jayne, if you read my post again you will see that I said that AA is there if and when Rose wants to try it and I said it is not for everyone.

AA is a bridge to normal living, as is Al-Anon. There is no problem that cannot be helped by those in the Fellowships and there is normally someone that has had a similar problem.

Alcohol is a symptom of an underlying problem; it is up to each person to decide if they are alcoholic or not.

Well done Lewt for getting the job. Jayne is right, AA is lucky to have you

beer2006

mariauk wrote:

Hi Beer

I still pop in and see whats going on every once in a while. Still miss Mich but I`m sure he is still around keeping an eye as well Glad you didn`t knock anyone out when you were playing with your Wii

XX

No, but I have a very bad back, arms, shoulders and all the other little bits in between. My little one was trying to play tennis with me on it and got so carried away was running into the tv trying to hit the ball with the control. Only my catlike (ie lazy layabout) reflexes saved the tv

I miss Mich as well, I went back and looked at his posts a couple of days ago, it just feels strange without him here.

How are you and your family?

mariauk

The kids and I are fine thanks, We moved a couple of months ago and I now have a very small "garden" ( paved back yard) which I am just preparing so I can grow some veggies (hopefully) this year. Last year was a horrible one for me as I lost my Mum in June and then Mich in November. It was an emotional rollercoaster with all that happened and the new house etc. Hoping that 2007 will be a good one for all of us!

XXXX

habibi_2

beer2006 wrote:

That and the praying and having to have a higher power, even if it is my pencil sharpener.
I am an individual, I have to be like that. I don't particularly like being in or labelled as things, I used to ride a bike alot, but I hated being called a biker.

I am different from everyone else, I like being like that. I do it my way and I don't push my way on anybody. Because I don't believe in doing that.

All that is needed to join AA is a desire to stop drinking. Each person chooses their own higher power when they are ready to and pray when they are ready.

I found my individuality in Al-Anon; before that I was too full of fear to be myself. I also, through fear, thought my way was the only way - today I try to respect each person's choice. It's been good for me to read each person's view on here

beer2006

habibi wrote:

Alcohol is a symptom of an underlying problem; it is up to each person to decide if they are alcoholic or not.

I agree, I was wondering the other day, if you can become an alcoholic just because you like drink, or does there always have to be a big problem somewhere in the background?

beer2006

habibi wrote:

All that is needed to join AA is a desire to stop drinking. Each person chooses their own higher power when they are ready to and pray when they are ready.

But some people may not want a higher power and may not want to pray :rolleyes:

beer2006

mariauk wrote:

The kids and I are fine thanks, We moved a couple of months ago and I now have a very small "garden" ( paved back yard) which I am just preparing so I can grow some veggies (hopefully) this year. Last year was a horrible one for me as I lost my Mum in June and then Mich in November. It was an emotional rollercoaster with all that happened and the new house etc. Hoping that 2007 will be a good one for all of us!

XXXX

I hope so too.
Lovely to see you on here again. Its good to hear about the new house, I did know actually, GP told me I think. I think Mich will probably be around somewhere near here.

jayne.doe

habibi wrote:

Hi Rose
Your OH may slip back but you don't have to - try to get on with your life. Also, maybe stop trying so hard, I did this for years and it wore me out.
My feeling is to give the vodka back to your OH and let him make his own choices but also let him deal with the consequences of his actions. I know this is easy to say and not so easy to do.
You don't have to decide anything today about leaving.
Hugs and Sweet dreams


"I don't think it is your fault. You are a victim, as is your OH, as lewt says, it is an illness. But the illness isn't yours, you can only fight it from a distance. OH has to fight. If you give him the choice, you or the drink, the choice is his."

Al we posted at the same time I think
I try today not to see myself as a victim but as someone who suffered as a result of a loved one's drinking. I learnt not to fight it but to let go and let my OH deal with his problem in his own way, as i had to learn to deal with mine.
Agree totally about the choices

this was the post i was referring to Habibi you told me off for calling you a victim. I was referring to rose as a victim as you yourself were. Not you and you slated me for it. I never said you were ever a victim. I got offended because you automatically assumed i was having a go at you when i wasnt.

habibi_2

Well I like drink and, as far as I know, used to keep up with my OH. I stopped, though, and he didn't. His obsession became alcohol and mine became my OH. We both had an underlying problem that came out in different ways

jayne.doe

i honestly think you need to read back over your posts tbh.