Alcohol self help thread II

jayne.doe

i tell you why i am offended. I dont think Roderick wanted to die, I dont think Roses husband wants to lose his family. I dont think you or Al really need the pain you have been through. I dont thing Beer wants to worry whether one is one to many. I am so tired of thinking about how much i drink. I know this is an illness but its painful and it hurts so just sometimes a nerve is touched and it was tonight. You/ we as drinkers and o/h`s are all hurt but no-one knows just how much when they are the drinker. The guilt i feel is absolute.

lewt

im sure no1 wants to die jayne, but im not sure what it is you dont like that has been said? what you've said above is all the baffiling part of the illness. i could never see why i did it. and why i put all my loved ones through it. today i know i suffer from the full illness of alcoholism not just the drinking part.and its sad to say it dont get no better, its a progresive illness. if i choose to stop doing what i've learnt then everything i read that has not happen to me is waiting for me when i pick up a drink.

one thing i have done today id forgiven myself for all the awull umloving things i have thought/said about my self.

i dont wanna make you feel worse jayne however today i can laugh at a lot of the stuff i used to do and i really have recovered fron teh hopeless state of mind and bodie that i used to think normal. it's there waiting for all alcoholics that have had enough. my life really is behond what ii thought possible today.

hope that dont sound to much like im talking down to you. i aint. i know what it feels like to be where you are tonight. i really do. and if i can help i will. if you want and your not working tomorrow we vould have a chat over msn?????

jayne.doe

I am fine lewt thanks you have made me smile again, just sometimes I think people forget how hard it is not to drink. Thats all just that:) The past as you say is the past but you cant help but remember it.(even if you forgive yourself:)) I never think you talk down to me: Night Lewt, xx

lewt

night jayne....

jayne.doe

I didnt answer your question last nite lewt. The drinking is going okay, the difficulty is never the drinking is it?:) But knowing when to stop. I have now just got a few problems with sleeping, but they have always been there.

Hi everyone its dark and cold and about to rain here, cup of tea and back to bed. Nobody wants two cats that are driving me mad do they.??:)

Al_Mac

Sleepings good for me these days, can even get to sleep in the afternoon, if I have to work at night.

Amazing really, as at one point I thought I had to have had a skinful to sleep

It's all about being relaxed, when you go to bed, so get yourself a wind down routine, which doesn't include being on here

jayne.doe

well no i did perhaps get wound up rather than down thanks for the advice al.:o

beer2006

I'm confused, Habibi you say you're not a victim, but I think you are.
Everyone who has an alcoholic partner is.
However I disagree with Al, I don't think I am a victim, I think I'm the cause of the problem, I could have dealt with it before it got so bad, but I didn't my fault. No one elses, mine.
I don't disagree with anyone else thinking they are a victim, thats fine by me, but I am definately not.

Al_Mac

Did anyone say you could have an opinion?

Victim of yourself, I was.

lewt

i wasnt the course of pain my illness was. if i had cancer i would not say that i was the course of the pain. to me or others round me. untill i veiwed this as an illness that i had no control over at anypoint i could not get well. as of the victim thing, i think those around us suffer a degree of the illness with us. dont now if i'd call it a victim, i wont be a victim of alcoholism unless it kills me.

Jayne tyhe only way i can control drinking is not to take the first one day by day, as the physical alergy sets off if i do. (once i have one my body reacts in a different way to "normal people " and i cant control the ammount at all. coupled with the mental side of it that will,in my own head voice tell me it would be different this time, i'll just ahave a few. i'll stop tomorrow. but i never did cause i never built up a mental defense, i couldnt. i needed help. it was only when i had had a bad enoungh time in my head and life that i was ready to ask for it.-sadly