Alcohol self help thread II

jayne.doe

I am sorry lewt but i dont agree you can take a horse to water but you cant make it drink. The man needs to decide he wants to change as you and al and others have. I feel leaving books around could actually make things worse, and inflame the situation.

Al_Mac

Self realisation. Yep got to get that first. I can actually see a book might do it, but yes I can see it might push him further into denial.

I denied it for years, everytime Mrs Mac told me, I denied it, in fact the more she did, the more I denied it.

Not sure how I got to that point, but I knew when I got there.

All I can do is wish you luck with which every way you go. We, or others, will be around here, for a long time to come.

Now I must go to bed. Night all.

lewt

thats ok jayne, dont apoligise. i agree to disagree with you. leaving the book laying around( it actully suggests it in there) is not the same as throwing him in the car and dragging him to a meeting, the chances are he would like to learn a little about his illness. if not theres a ruddy good chapter "to wife's" in the book that rose could read. i agree he has to make the choice. but he also needs to know where help is, the stuff he's done so far has not worked by the sounds of it. so anything to save a mans life. if it takes leaving abook round then why not? he still has the choice to read it or not. chance's are he will have a look.

As i say to every1 on here rose i cant send you a book as my personal funds cant afford it but i do have it on audio cd that i will send if needed..

lewt

as al says he must come to the point whee enough is enough. i had to and we all do. or nothing will work AA or otherwise.

habibi_2

jayne.doe wrote:

Rose you find yourself between a rock and hard place and try as i would like i would not advise you on your life i dont know you. But this i know you have tried take care of you. You need looking after too. As Al so rightly says you are all victims of an illness that needs your husband to recognise that. People can throw numbers help lines everything at you. It wont stop until he wants it to.:(

I can only say again that I was not a victim but that I suffered through someone else's illness.
The helplines that have been suggested may help Rose deal with her situation, look after herself and start to make changes in her life.
Not sure what you mean by 'it'. Do you mean the drinking??

jayne.doe

Yes i mean the drinking. The helplines offered to Rose are up to Rose to take, i think any help offered to her is fantastic. Any help offered to her o/h is up to him to take. What i was saying that peoples suggestions to him while wonderful, is futile if he chooses to ignore the help.

jayne.doe

I never saw Rose as a victim but as part of an illness that is difficult to conquer and being the drinker i know how hard it is to cope with sometimes as the o/h.

lewt

but there made jayne. so if and when he is ready he can take them. thats the main thing. also the surgestions were for both partys,
are you ok jayne? how's your drinking been lately?

jayne.doe

no i am actually a bit offended so i think i best leave.

lewt

why you offened?