Alcohol self help thread II

jayne.doe

Michael that story is so poignant, you obviously still loved him. I just felt so moved when i read that. Yet again reminded why i need to not let drink get a tighter grip of me, thankyou for sharing so much of what is obviously still so painful for you. I just hope you can remember the good times that you shared as well as the sad and badx

jayne.doe

btw i am not getting involved on what a coccy is . I have a few ideas tho:think:

mjdh1957

Thanks for all the good wishes folks!

Love is a strange thing, and watching someone you love take a path which is in effect a long, slow suicide is a terrible thing. At one stage I partly blamed myself, thinking that if only I had tried harder it might have been different. But having had some support I realise that I am not to blame, and it was a disease that had hold of him.

jayne.doe

Michael you have nothing to blame yourself for, you cant stop someone destroying themself. Sometimes you have to walk away for your own sanity. I think you must have helped him so much, but he just couldnt in the end help himself. Your story is so sadx

lewt

alcoholism is a horrible disise, i'm so glad to be able to arrest that on a daily basis and not have to wonder what was wrong with me all the time, not knowing that alcoholism is a lot more that liking a drink. all the self loathing self pity and questioning ones self. i just thought it was the alcohol that was the problem. once i understood it was ME that was it, and had the tools put in front of me to sort it daily( not as easy as it sounds but alot easer than planning ways to drink and al that went with it) life got ALOT easyer i dont sit thinking i have this and that illness no more, which is something i used to if there was an illness mentioned on tv or here i would think i had it. you name it i thought i had it. but low and behold it was all alcoholism. menta, physical and spirtual. and today im glad i dont have them things i used to long i did(coz then i'd know and be able to fix it) no i am a genunily happy and nice to be around bloke.

i heard a story of a man who'd seen a poster once and i thought it was a great story the poster read

IF YOU SUFFER DEPRESSION PHONE 12344567889
IF YOU HAVE ANXITY PHONE 987654321
IF YOU HAVE FEAR OF PUBLIC PLACES PHONE 0986768796
IF YOU SUFFER SPLIT PERSONALITY PHONE 123.....
IF YOU HAVE STRESS PHONE 6753421
AND IF YOU SUFFER MORE THAN ONE OF THE ABOVE PHONE AA

i liked it, hope every1's ok.

HI FEELIE IF YOUR READING LET US KNOW HOW YOU ARE!

rose28454

Hi again
It is 10.30pm and OH has just driven our son to pick up his wallets from a friends. Do I think because of that has not had a drink today. I dont know. He has been with me all day and has put together the guitar he has spent 5 months renovating for our son, spent some time on E-Bay and spent some time taking photos. Now has he taken our son out to lull me into a false sense of security and will he ask me for the vodka like last night ( I refused and went to bed really anxious and slept badly) ?
Why do I feel so sad? Because I think it will all slip back to where we have been before and I wont have enough courage to leave. Life is so mean. I try so hard and even though I dont want to wreck anything is it my fault. Thanks to all for your support.
Night Night

Al_Mac

I don't think it is your fault. You are a victim, as is your OH, as lewt says, it is an illness. But the illness isn't yours, you can only fight it from a distance. OH has to fight. If you give him the choice, you or the drink, the choice is his.

Not sure how much you've read on here, so I'll gladly repeat myself. I stopped because I was so scared I would lose my wife, my children and my home.

habibi_2

rose28454 wrote:

Hi again
Why do I feel so sad? Because I think it will all slip back to where we have been before and I wont have enough courage to leave. Life is so mean. I try so hard and even though I dont want to wreck anything is it my fault. Thanks to all for your support.
Night Night

Hi Rose
Your OH may slip back but you don't have to - try to get on with your life. Also, maybe stop trying so hard, I did this for years and it wore me out.
My feeling is to give the vodka back to your OH and let him make his own choices but also let him deal with the consequences of his actions. I know this is easy to say and not so easy to do.
You don't have to decide anything today about leaving.
Hugs and Sweet dreams


"I don't think it is your fault. You are a victim, as is your OH, as lewt says, it is an illness. But the illness isn't yours, you can only fight it from a distance. OH has to fight. If you give him the choice, you or the drink, the choice is his."

Al we posted at the same time I think
I try today not to see myself as a victim but as someone who suffered as a result of a loved one's drinking. I learnt not to fight it but to let go and let my OH deal with his problem in his own way, as i had to learn to deal with mine.
Agree totally about the choices

jayne.doe

Rose you find yourself between a rock and hard place and try as i would like i would not advise you on your life i dont know you. But this i know you have tried take care of you. You need looking after too. As Al so rightly says you are all victims of an illness that needs your husband to recognise that. People can throw numbers help lines everything at you. It wont stop until he wants it to.:(

lewt

hi rose thanks for the update. it sounds like your chap is not doing well i can relate my own story to what is going on. . my opinion is the choice should be going to aa or losing you? if you say its stopping or you i dont think that will work.( although it did for al) get yourselfa copy of theaa big book and leave it laying around.

and i urge you to get to al anon for your own sake there are people there that can answer all your questions and give you back your life free from the worrie of whats going on at the moment.. we're all here. but can only do a limited ammount. the fellowships are the way forward.... God bless, lewt.