Alcohol self help thread II

sneekymum

You sound like a rock

ginger

Thanks for that. I don't feel like one. I am ashamed to say there have been screaming rows, threats of divorce etc (from me!) over the last 10 months until I came to terms with what is going on in his life. The only thing that has kept my marriage together this year is our 2 children (14 and 9). OH is a good dad even with his faults and I can't bear the thought of being responsible for tearing my family apart even sometimes I have considered it for the best. I am trying to support him, but being married to someone with an alcohol problem is very stressful and I don't know how long I can carry on like this.
G

Al_Mac

I think the usual response is going to fit.

If he doesn't realise he has a problem, there is probably not a lot you can do.

It doesn't sound as if he is just social drinking to excess, so I'm not convinced cutting that out would help, might even lead to more secretive drinking on his part:eek:

Sounds like his self esteem has probably come close to rock bottom. When it happened to me, I cried out for help:o And my family responded big time, except my brother in law:rolleyes: , made me feel loved and wanted, more so than I had felt for years:D

He needs to know and accept he has a problem and then work from there. A lot of people swear by AA, or you could contact alnon(?) to get support and advice for you.

You need to put you and your daughter first, your safety is paramount. That is what Mrs Mac was told, even though I was never violent or even angry.

I'll have a bit more of a think and come back to you. I'm sure there will be more advice, from others.

Do stay and post more, if we can help, we will:cool:

ginger

Thanks Al Mac -

I think he does realise he HAD a problem but not any longer!!! Most of the time now he is sober, but every so often (usually whe he has a stressful day) he goes over the top. The problem is at those times he then denies what/how much he has had. Even when we go out with friends, he has often come home soberish us when the rest of us were are p****d, but on other nights he has been p*****d for no reason. i don't know how to progress this. Should I be encouraging him to give up alcohol altogether or cut down? At the same time, I know in my own mind tht I am drinking too mcuh becuase of the stress of all this - how the hell do Ihepl hom when I uspect I might hav a proble myself?

G

Al_Mac

Very quick response:o

When I was drinking, a sure fire way of winding me up, was to question how much I was drinking, usually correctly:o

If you don't think you have a problem then critisism(?) doesn't go down well.

Talk later:D

ac

JUST STOPPING DRINKING ISENT ENOUGH FOR MOST...

STOPPING IS FINE BUT THEN WE ARE LEFT WITH A 'LOST' FEELING,
an empty feeling a void.. (sorry didnt no caps lock was on and
in a rush ,)

the steps help you to sort your head out.. or just going to meeting.. sitting having a cup of coffee with people the same as you helps..

xx

Al_Mac

Agree with ac, once stopped something needs to replace it. For myself a meeting wouldn't have worked, bit of a phobia of meetings and groups. I think I've become a more even tempered person. People at work have told Mrs Mac, that I seem much happier than I have done for ages, slight change in direction prior to abstinence helped Just stopping with no lifestyle changes wont do it, in my opinion. 22 weeks, is that all ac?

ac

23 weeks tomorrow AL x

feelinggood_2

Welldone AC, that is incredible

ac

nope thats one day at a time :rolleyes: