Alcohol self help thread II

lewt

The steps are for any1 who wants them and turn lives around there is no other way to stay sober permently.- And be happy with it. al mac i suggest you read the big book closely it explains everything these angostics is a wicked chapter to read after the doctors opinoin... but start with this http://www.aabibliography.com/oldhowitworks.html and download the whole book for free here http://www.aabibliography.com/tapes.html scroll down a bit and its in the mibble of the page

Al_Mac

Fair enough brodev, don't think they would have worked for me, but if it works for someone, then it's great.

Come on lewt are you saying I wont stay sober without it I don't think you are

brodev

[QUOTE=Al_MacCome_on_lewt_are_you_saying_I_wont_stay_sober_without_it_;)_I_don't_think_you_are_:)[/QUOTE]

I cannot speak for Lewt, but I do not know anyone who can predict what someone else will or won't do. I can say without fear of contradiction that I would not have been able to stay sober without the steps. I do not know of any other way of staying sober that has consistantly worked for a number of people over a length of time.
I think that what people sometimes forget is that before the advent of AA very few alcoholics stopped drinking. AA showed the world that people could stop and stay stopped. The world in general now appears to accept that alcoholism is an illness. That was not the case when I joined AA.

Al_Mac

brodev wrote:

I do not know of any other way of staying sober that has consistantly worked for a number of people over a length of time.

But is that because you are AA And I'm not going to claim that my method is going to work, currently I'm sober, so it is working, hopefully it will be a lot of years befor I find out if it has work;)

Morning anyone else:D

brodev

Al_Mac wrote:

But is that because you are AA And I'm not going to claim that my method is going to work, currently I'm sober, so it is working, hopefully it will be a lot of years befor I find out if it has work;)

Morning anyone else:D

I am sorry that I gave the impression that I disapprove of your method. I do not even know what it is. I was talking in general terms. If the illness alcoholism can be combatted by anyone in any way whatsoever then I heartilly applaud.
I have, however, known lots of good people, including members of my family, who have tried other ways. Some have been successful but they are few in number. The most successful way of stopping and staying stopped is AA.
On a personal note I wish you continued success with staying sober and I also wish the same for myself.

ac

morning hope all is well xx

ac

lewt wrote:

AC thoughts will come when sober they do to me but as long as you dont act on them things will be ok today, good choice to go to the meeting tonight. partys are hard for us, have you gone though the steps?

i can handle the parties.. towards my last fall i wasnt much of a social drinker
its just the mental obsession that got me abit last night..

manage to do the party and half a meeting...and back to the party again..

havent gone through the steps properly...
i will do it when i feel ready lol xxx...
ive deffinatly done both of 1

my life is unmanageable with or without alcohol...
when ac is in the driving seat.. all hell breaks loose pmsl xx

thankgod im just an alcoholic !!!
i use to think i was this evil evil wicked person
but nope.... im just an alcoholic...just a person with an illness
and ive got the tools to get better xxxx

lewt

Al_Mac wrote:

Fair enough brodev, don't think they would have worked for me, but if it works for someone, then it's great.

Come on lewt are you saying I wont stay sober without it I don't think you are

I dont belive alcoholics can stay permently sober and be happy with it;) with =out the steps and other things mate, not in my experience, if you know another way then let me know... some people call me a big book basher however it has worked for thousands of people, my thinking got me into the mess i was in, so therefore my thinking cant get me out of it. but it's a daya at a time. just going to meetings aint enogh i went to one last night and there were soi many people there who had'nt done the steps that just kept relasping..

Shaz123_3

Hi, I haven't been here for a good couple of months now but been reading a few pages tonight.

Last time I was here I was at the end of my tether with my husband. However little has changed really, ever single week I still recycle two large carrier bags of empty bottles and that doesn't include tin cans that are in the normal recycling bins. Without fail every time I open a cupboard, the oven, the wardrobe, a unit, I'm bound to find an empty.

Its no secret my husband drinks, just the extra stashes he hides all over the place. Well since I got hom from work on Friday he's been drinking ever since then until today. Now he's in the other bedroom sleeping.

Oh I didn't mention that he ordered 72 bottles of super strength 9% bottled beers over the internet. He did tell me on Friday he got a gift pack over the internet to try out. Gift pack my a*se...

Until I seen the order he had lying about! He's kept his stash in the garage, I know because he's been in and out and not locked the front door or the garage. He's even stooped as low to sneak out the back door to go round the front.

Well I've made up my mind and I'm going to look into getting a divorce. I
have had enough! All he has done this weekend is create a mess with his empties (the number of spillages in our bedroom carpet is digusting) and the constant snacking and leaving me with all the washing (well I can't stand knives etc lying on the kitchen bunkers with a 2 year old).

Has he bothered to help with any housework or look after our son (not that I would let him look after out son in his state!). Well no but that doesn't surprise me. Muggins here does it all!

I called one of my sisters over and her boyfriend and he was so drunk and asleep he didn't have a clue they were even here!

He's 31, suppose to be mature (ish) at that age so I thought but doesn't even give a t*ss about us. Promised to take our son swimming but as usual let him down again. Suppose to visit his grandad. 'Oh but I must do a bit of studying for some SQL for my 3rd interview on Tuesday'. The only swatting he's been doing it seeing how many bottles of beer he can drink.

I'll not tell him about looking into a divorce incase he does go for this job interview but I don't think he's interested. All he wants to do is drink himself into a stupor. Working would take up too much of his time.

Sorry for my ranting but being at the end of living with an alcoholic is not easy when you feel you can't talk to friends or family about it an pretend everything is normal. Well it's not right is it. I got married thinking this is it until dealt do us part so I am actually very sad.

He 'promised' me the last time I asked for a trial separation things would change and he'd see if he could give up drinking for a while. How long did that last 1week? Five days I think.

Ever since then it's been oh footballs on tonight, oh just a couple of cans (oh and the secret stash that I'm not suppose to know about).

I've not expected him to give up, but to be honest and not hide cans and bottles everywhere but even then he can't do that. I said the empty whisky bottle that fell on my head wasn't funny but he's not given a sh*t. As long as he can get another drink.

Maybe some of you will think I'm selfish at giving up after 3 years and 3 months of marriage but I can't live with myself bringing up our son in this stressful relationship. I stress most days whilst at working thinking will he be sober when I get home, will he have left keys stuck outside our front door.

What I don't understand is how he can take me for granted and think it's fine for me to put up with this for the rest of my life. I take our son to my parents for babysitting on my way to work, I work full time Mon - Fri, bring in pretty much an equal salary if not more than his (when he was last at work 4 months ago), I do most of the housework and I don't actually mind. All I want is to have a sober husband - is this too much to ask? Guess so..

People that can stand by their partners for years on end really do have a heart of gold. I guess I just haven't.

Al_Mac

You duty of care is to your child and yourself.

If he doesn't see he has a problem, which I'm guessing he doesn't yet, you have to do something.

Divorce is drastic. Do you love him? Probably not like he his. Do you want to save him, to save your marriage, sounds probable.

Could you leave him, do you have somehwere to go?

Could you throw him out, does he have somewhere to go?

If he got this job, would it turn him around?

I'm not really being helpful here, what I'm saying is, is there anyway to get him to realise what he's going to lose, to help turn him around?

I see you've gone off line now, I'm off to my pit shortly, but I'll be back tomorrow evening, keep talking, we'll listen and try to help.

Remember you and the child, number one priority.

Keep safe.

Al