MSE Parents Club Part 4

redmel1621

Morning All

Bruno - I can't believe it is you who always seems to be settling the baby throughout the night, my dh barely stirs!

Krystal I hope you have been on to the docs this morning, as you promised:)

MM - no advice from me re the sleeping i'm afraid, well not any that you would probably want to follow anyway. We have had similar problems with both of ours at some point....we just used to shout at them:o If they got out of bed we used to shout "BED NOW!" If they made a noise we used to shout "QUIET, NOT A SOUND" Not the ideal solution but we explained in VERY stern voices that we will be happy to talk/sing/play/read and be happy mummy and daddy in the morning. It worked quickly with both of them and we have never had any problems with them going to bed since.
We used to say if they don't want to go to sleep that is fine, but they were to lie in bed in the darkness and not make a sound.......Usually found them asleep within half-hour.

Mel x

weezl74

permission to have a moan please?

I'll assume you all nodded, you usually do!

I'm sat here feeling a bit dejected about the future. Yesterday as you know I looked after fergie and 3 other children (3, 5 and 7) for about an hour and a half while their mum went to an appointment. Far from being the wonder woman MFD kindly called me, I was actually dreadful at it! I watched the clock a lot towards the end and felt like shouting or swearing at them (not my usual style, and I like these kids very much).

A 4 to 1 ratio was just so hard for me! I was holding fergus to feed him and that meant I couldn't run after them, only call tyhem back or ask what they were doing, which mostly was ignored. I just couldn't command their respect . I realised how many things DH and I have in our house that feel really precious to us, and how sad I feel that these will get wrecked. At one point the 3 year old was jumping up and down on a beautiful hand-made ottoman type storage box made out of little bricks of hardwood, while the 7 year old wiped his shoes all over fergies new activity cubes, while the middle one put the cushions from the leather sofa on the floor and dive bombed them from the high back of the sofa, and I was really worried they'd split. I told them to stop, they told me to 'shuddup!'. I moved as much stuff as I could, but was feeding so very tricky.

I just feel really bad about my abilities

Moan over.

Thanks for listening

Weezl x

redmel1621

weezl74 wrote: »

permission to have a moan please?

I'll assume you all nodded, you usually do!

I'm sat here feeling a bit dejected about the future. Yesterday as you know I looked after fergie and 3 other children (3, 5 and 7) for about an hour and a half while their mum went to an appointment. Far from being the wonder woman MFD kindly called me, I was actually dreadful at it! I watched the clock a lot towards the end and felt like shouting or swearing at them (not my usual style, and I like these kids very much).

A 4 to 1 ratio was just so hard for me! I was holding fergus to feed him and that meant I couldn't run after them, only call tyhem back or ask what they were doing, which mostly was ignored. I just couldn't command their respect . I realised how many things DH and I have in our house that feel really precious to us, and how sad I feel that these will get wrecked. At one point the 3 year old was jumping up and down on a beautiful hand-made ottoman type storage box made out of little bricks of hardwood, while the 7 year old wiped his shoes all over fergies new activity cubes, while the middle one put the cushions from the leather sofa on the floor and dive bombed them from the high back of the sofa, and I was really worried they'd split. I told them to stop, they told me to 'shuddup!'. I moved as much stuff as I could, but was feeding so very tricky.

I just feel really bad about my abilities

Moan over.

Thanks for listening

Weezl x

Don't feel dejected.....it is much harder looking after other peoples kids in your house than it is your own, or even looking after them in their own house. It is all exciting for them to be in a new house with someone other than their parents and they often (usually) take advantage of this situation, no matter how nice the children are!

If you are concerned about how you feel you would cope with Fergie as he is growing up and possibly other children of your own, don't be. Your owm children will be accustomed to how they can behave and what they can and can't touch within the family home.....this does get ignored quite often but you will establish rules and consequences with your own children that just can't be in place with 'other' children.

Mel x

redmel1621

Also just to add to that, you had 3 much older children thrust into your home as it is...whilst your own children are growing you tend to adapt your home so it is more child friendly and a lot of things get moved...bit by bit to 'safer areas' safer for the items I mean:)

Mel x

3onitsway

weezl74 wrote: »

permission to have a moan please?

I'll assume you all nodded, you usually do!

I'm sat here feeling a bit dejected about the future. Yesterday as you know I looked after fergie and 3 other children (3, 5 and 7) for about an hour and a half while their mum went to an appointment. Far from being the wonder woman MFD kindly called me, I was actually dreadful at it! I watched the clock a lot towards the end and felt like shouting or swearing at them (not my usual style, and I like these kids very much).

A 4 to 1 ratio was just so hard for me! I was holding fergus to feed him and that meant I couldn't run after them, only call tyhem back or ask what they were doing, which mostly was ignored. I just couldn't command their respect . I realised how many things DH and I have in our house that feel really precious to us, and how sad I feel that these will get wrecked. At one point the 3 year old was jumping up and down on a beautiful hand-made ottoman type storage box made out of little bricks of hardwood, while the 7 year old wiped his shoes all over fergies new activity cubes, while the middle one put the cushions from the leather sofa on the floor and dive bombed them from the high back of the sofa, and I was really worried they'd split. I told them to stop, they told me to 'shuddup!'. I moved as much stuff as I could, but was feeding so very tricky.

I just feel really bad about my abilities

Moan over.

Thanks for listening

Weezl x

Hugs Weezl!

Yesterday you were thrown in at the deep end, going from having one baby to look after to instantly having four! :eek: Three of whom haven't been brought up by you, having your rules & standards. (iykwim!).

However many children you end up having, be it two or ten - they will have been brought up by you and will know what is and isn't acceptable behaiviour in your house. (Plus, the Weezl children will all be well behaved little angels! )

Having three - i know that having a tidy house all day isn't going to happen, but I tidy when they're in bed, so we enjoy adult time in our tidy living room!
Things have got broken - but i'm laid back now an accept it. (As long as it isn't a deliberate attempt at vandalism!) Anything precious to me is out of childrens reach.

Other children have been taught different standards of behaiviour. I'm often shocked when DD1 has someone round for tea/play. One particular little princess :mad: drives me insane within about 5 minutes! (She doesn't come very often!). Last time she'd managed to pull my curtains down and jump out of the living room window into the back garden :eek: all within an hour! (I do feel sorry for her parents.!)

cazscoob

3 i also have a baldy baby she has lost her dark hair and is going blonde!

MM i know the feeling megan is the same she doesnt need any sleep, im sure she is the last to sleep and the first up every morning. we are alsao haveing a few problems with her begaviour at the moment so not sure if they are linked?

I got a cosy cope III in woolie when it shut down for £9!!! i bought it for Charlies first birthday and he loves it! it has a light on the roof which is continually on as he doesnt like it to be turned off??

weezl dont worry other peoples kids go either 2 ways, they are complete angels after being nightmares for their parents ior they turn into evil children the min the parents leave. you just have to be stict and shout lots lol! your own kids listen better as they know better and know how far they can push you. these kids will have been pushing you as far as they could, they sound like they were little horrors. next time(if there is one) i would have a roll of tape and a rope! tell them they either behave or youll tie them up!

enough of my essay better go do my hair before this man comes from freecycle!

redmel1621

3 - My boys have a friend or two like this. We actually banned ds1 from playing with one 'friend' because he was so much of a brat, and kept getting ds into trouble too.

ds2 had a friend around after school for dinner and play, he was so rude! Kept belching....you know where they force it out....soo loud. He was playing with his food, with his fingers! and gargling his juice and spitting it back in the cup. Disgusting, in my opinion, obviously his parents think this is fine behaviour while eating!

Mel x

redmel1621

cazscoob wrote: »

next time(if there is one) i would have a roll of tape and a rope! tell them they either behave or youll tie them up!

:T:rotfl:I will try this too x

r.mac_2

elle_gee wrote: »

OH suggested we start going swimming and that my mum babysit Rhys whilst we do. Didn't think he'd be so up for leaving Rhys with someone else just yet, but I think he's spurred on by the jeans I bought him yesterday being a bit snug (but they are the size he wants to be)

:rolleyes:

DH is funny about things like this - only left LO with my parents and his parents so far - one time each! he didn't like giving my mum the baby monitor the night she stayed and was pleased LO didn't wake up. I'm trying to convinve him that my little sister (at uni and very responsible) could look after LO for 2 hours while LO is asleep so we can go out and be a couple rather than a mum and dad for once!:rotfl:

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Bruno - is there some middle ground where your mom visiting gives your wife some time to herself. So one saturday afternoon your mom visits with you and Elijah and wifey goes to have her hair done / for a coffee with friends / clothes shopping etc.
I don't mean this in a 'sneaking mom in whilst wifey is out' kinda way but as an up-front mom arrives, all have a coffee, wifey goes out and leaves you lot together type way.

I am not sure I am making any sense but if your wife accepts that your mom should have a relationship with Elijah there are ways of going about it which don't involve them sitting together all afternoon IYSWIM.

Would she let your mom sit whilst you went out for a meal or something?



LOL - and that is why I love you :kisses3:

stop being so bl00dy wise MFD This is how I got over my MIL [STRIKE]wanting to stick her nose in all the time[/STRIKE] visiting us.

SusanC wrote: »

My mum was always particular about pronunciation so although I'm obviously from the north I don't have a particularly localised accent (and even less so now I've been in Durham for 11 years). When I was at school people used to accuse me of talking "posh" but then when I went to university people would look down on me because they considered a northern accent to be working class and they thought my accent (and localised vocubulary I used) was a reflection of (lack of) intelligence.

my mum had elocution lessons when she was little and corrected any pronunciation or grammer mistakes I made as I grew up. I find myself shouting at the tv when people are making silly mistakes :rotfl: I was bulied at school for being 'posh':o But I didn't realise it was bullying until I asked my mum to explain why the girls and boys comments weren't funny and didn't make sense, yet everyone else found them hilarious - I just thought they were rather stupid :rotfl:

Sami_Bee

SusanC wrote: »

:TI just got a red Bumbo seat on e-Bay for £7.99. It was listed as "Bumbu" so no one else bid on it. :money:

:Twoo hoo!

ladybirdintheuk wrote: »

It didn't make her sick, but Izzy was very windy and uncomfortable when I had it.

oh well Hubby will have to drink it, I'm not risking being soaked in sick again!:p

weezl74 wrote: »

permission to have a moan please?

I'll assume you all nodded, you usually do!

I'm sat here feeling a bit dejected about the future. Yesterday as you know I looked after fergie and 3 other children (3, 5 and 7) for about an hour and a half while their mum went to an appointment. Far from being the wonder woman MFD kindly called me, I was actually dreadful at it! I watched the clock a lot towards the end and felt like shouting or swearing at them (not my usual style, and I like these kids very much).

A 4 to 1 ratio was just so hard for me! I was holding fergus to feed him and that meant I couldn't run after them, only call tyhem back or ask what they were doing, which mostly was ignored. I just couldn't command their respect . I realised how many things DH and I have in our house that feel really precious to us, and how sad I feel that these will get wrecked. At one point the 3 year old was jumping up and down on a beautiful hand-made ottoman type storage box made out of little bricks of hardwood, while the 7 year old wiped his shoes all over fergies new activity cubes, while the middle one put the cushions from the leather sofa on the floor and dive bombed them from the high back of the sofa, and I was really worried they'd split. I told them to stop, they told me to 'shuddup!'. I moved as much stuff as I could, but was feeding so very tricky.

I just feel really bad about my abilities

Moan over.

Thanks for listening

Weezl x

Don't worry honey, Fergus would never tell you to shuddup!!
I know its hard, poor Ed does get fed up of me shouting Chris to come back down stairs while I'm feeding him but Chris would never dream of jumping on furniture or dive bombing onto cushions He'd get slapped legs if he did :silenced:
as others have said other people's children are very different to your own!
I used to baby sit three children (1 older boy and twin girl n boy) the boys would go to bed fine but it took 2 of us to carry the girl into bed and we had to stay until she was asleep to make sure she stayed in there! (her parent's never had any trouble with her at bedtime tho)