lilmissmups moving on and hopefully upwards diary!

lilmissmup

No I agree I did everything for him

All bills paid by me though he gave me half the cash, if we ever went away I dealt with it, i did most of the housework.

Guess I liked feeling needed though, to be honest i have no idea how he will cope without me as only a few months ago he said he didn't know how he would cope if i died as he didn't know how to do anything :rolleyes:

I know this isn't my issue anymore but i still love him with all my heart so its hard not to worry about him still

No i wouldn't have wanted him smoking that around the baby and he probably wouldn't have helped much either so i do sometimes think its for the best but its all still so raw and i haven't gone a day yet where I haven't cried.

I haven't deleted him off FB yet but he won't have the internet in a week or so anyway once he moves out his mums into the bedsit, not for a while anyway.

The only way we could work now is if he stayed off the weed, he hasn't smoked whilst at his mums but i know he will once he is alone and bored again.

Not that he wants to get back together anyway.:o

Fire_Fox

Mr. Fire Fox smokes weed, which I understand in some ways as I have taken an awful lot of recreational substances in my time! But despite being a real grafter work-wise he is useless with any domestic matter - I occasionally call him 'manyana man'. :rolleyes: He doesn't want to do anything on his day off, he doesn't get up until half an hour before he leaves for work and he's too tired when he gets in after a long shift.

Hope you start feeling better very soon. (((((hugs)))))

lilmissmup

We had a long chat again last night on Facebook as he saw a comment about i made about men adding me as a friend to get a visa and well he got jealous about it.

He proved to me he still loves me, says he misses me, misses home, misses the cats but he can't come back to me as he doesn't want what I want.

To be honest i have no idea what I want anymore, hes the only thing I want right now, just want him home

But I am getting the keys to my new place on Monday 10th, I did have that day off work but cancelled it, might ask for it off again.

I have to move out, can't wait around, if we got back together it would be best if we took things slowly again anyway. I even suggested this to him.

Shoe_Gal

lilmissmup wrote: »

We had a long chat again last night on Facebook as he saw a comment about i made about men adding me as a friend to get a visa and well he got jealous about it.

He proved to me he still loves me, says he misses me, misses home, misses the cats but he can't come back to me as he doesn't want what I want.

To be honest i have no idea what I want anymore, hes the only thing I want right now, just want him home

But I am getting the keys to my new place on Monday 10th, I did have that day off work but cancelled it, might ask for it off again.

I have to move out, can't wait around, if we got back together it would be best if we took things slowly again anyway. I even suggested this to him.

It sounds like you are both a bit confused, but take care off you :A I think you should carry on with your moving plans, if you do get back together taking things slowly is a good idea, and a new place would be a fresh start

Take care

lilmissmup

I am still defo moving out, saw him tonight, hes clammed up again.

Hes seen his new "home" and well its worse than the bedsit he had when we got together apparently.

I am off work 10th and 11th to start moving.

Shoe_Gal

lilmissmup wrote: »

I am still defo moving out, saw him tonight, hes clammed up again.

Hes seen his new "home" and well its worse than the bedsit he had when we got together apparently.

I am off work 10th and 11th to start moving.

You're doing the right thing :A

Don't know the full story so I may be wrong, but be careful he's not basing any desire to get back together on the state of his current accommodation/financial problems :mad:

lilmissmup

I dont think there will be any desire but maybe he might realise how lonely he is making his life.

He will be loaded though paying £55 a week in bills compared to £150ish here!

Shoe_Gal

lilmissmup wrote: »

I dont think there will be any desire but maybe he might realise how lonely he is making his life.

He will be loaded though paying £55 a week in bills compared to £150ish here!

From what I've read so far the 'extra' will soon be gone :rolleyes: especially if he is lonely and keeps going out to 'hide' from it

benbenandme

Lilmissup, I have only just found your new diary and am so sorry to hear what you're going through. I do know exactly how you feel, okay my situation was slightly different in that we had a child, but we were also together 6.5yrs and I thought we'd be together forever

The only advice I can give you is to not pressure yourself to move on, it does take a long time, and it'll happen very gradually without you noticing. I still have the odd time, 4 years on, where something will trigger a feeling that reminds me of everything all over again I do still miss him but wouldn't want him back. I love my new life now, yes its been bloody hard work rebuilding it, but my god that makes it even more special now It does still hurt sometimes that I hear all about his life with the cow he left us for, but then I know he also gets to see how bloody well we're doing without him

I found nighttimes the hardest bit at first, and that was probably when I started to get into the whole mse thing as a distraction

Please pm me if you want to chat at any time, don't even try and be positive or all that stuff yet, give yourself some time to get used to the idea of being single, surround yourself with friends and family who truly care about you, and take care of yourself xx

lilmissmup

Thanks benben hun x

I do feel lucky that we hadn't gone through with having a baby as i would be worse off, your boy is very lucky though having a mum with a brilliant head on her shoulders x

Being alone is what is really hard for me, and being in this house so I am looking forward to moving although I may be alone more as my main rock lives right near where i do now and she doesn't drive.

To be honest I am not sure what positivity means, or eating, forgot what that means too but hey i wanted to lose some anyway, nearly at my target weight already. (half loling)

I am off to London today, think my friend is demanding I spend some cash on me too