Perfect Wedding Present?

VickyA_2

Rachie_B wrote:

glad im not the only one who is having problems getting my head round this bizarre idea ! lol

There's me too! And most of my friends. As we're all spread out over the country, then most weddings have cost us at least £100 just for accommodation and petrol. All my friends who have recently got married have said that it's just been lovely for their nearest friends and relatives to be with them on their special day - no matter how much is being spent.

lynneinjapan

callansdad wrote:

I am getting married in June. My very close Aunt (well shes more like a sister, only 2 years between us) is marrying in August. I don't know what to get them. Paying for our own wedding means that we won't be that flush come August. I always said that i would get them a really great present but i don't think i could even compete with some of her partners family. His sister who is a single mum is buying a tumble dryer. His brother is getting them a hoover. Someone else is buying them a tv, others are giving them money. I don't want my present to seem pathetic if you know what i mean. Any ideas? I don't even know how much i would want to spend. Probably between £50-£100.

How about something personal that doesn't involve spending a lot of money? You could give a "box of promises"-type gift where you commit to e.g. dog-sitting / babysitting / help with much-hated domestic chores for them for a certain length of time. If you or your other half is any good at DIY then maybe you could do some jobs around the house or garden for them - they provide the materials, you provide free labour. If you have any arty inclinations then maybe you could paint them a picture and get it framed.

When my husband and I got married last year, we each already had a fully-furnished house so there wasn't much that we needed. We set up a wedding website where we told everyone that we were more interested in our guests' presence than their presents (bit of a cliche but very true) and gave a short list of about eight things we wanted (some with brand/model etc. specified, others just a general desription) but also highlighted a couple of charity donation options. We included gift vouchers as an additional option and ended up with quite a selection, including several hundred pounds to spend at M&S!

Penny-Pincher!!

I have a similar problem ATM. My nephew is getting married in November and havent a clue what to get him or how much to spend. OH & I are very close to him and would like to do something special but dont have too much money. We would love to be able to send him and OH away for their wedding night as they have both "kept" themselves for after they get married. So the wedding night will be very special to them-but not sure that its too personal if we do this. Also am unsure what the costings would be

PP
xx

roses

When you are invited to a friends wedding I always think it is good etiquette to buy them a present equal to what you think it cost them to feed you.

Eg I am going to a sit down meal to a work collegues do next month. Both me & the boyfriend are invited so we have decided to get them an item of £50 from their wedding list as that is how much we think the sit down meal cost them.

For a relative I always get a bit more eg for my brothers wedding I got him a nice set of Tefal saucepans & an Electrolux bagless vacuum (all of which he said he needed).

Poppy9

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

My nephew is getting married in November and havent a clue what to get him or how much to spend. OH & I are very close to him ...........they have both "kept" themselves for after they get married.

boy you are close if they've shared this with you:D

As it sounds as if they are not living together then I think you will be safe getting something useful for the home they are building together. You don't have to spend a lot just think of all the little things that you find useful/invaluable in your own home as these often get over looked by guests as gifts as they think they look mean. You could put a collection together in a nice wicker basket or even a box and wrap it up nicely. Or you could put together a marriage survival pack. Try to think of amusing things they could delve into when they've had a row to break the mood. i.e. ear plugs, a hold up sign saying "not listening".

Rachie_B

roses wrote:

When you are invited to a friends wedding I always think it is good etiquette to buy them a present equal to what you think it cost them to feed you.

Eg I am going to a sit down meal to a work collegues do next month. Both me & the boyfriend are invited so we have decided to get them an item of £50 from their wedding list as that is how much we think the sit down meal cost them.

For a relative I always get a bit more eg for my brothers wedding I got him a nice set of Tefal saucepans & an Electrolux bagless vacuum (all of which he said he needed).

oh god not another one :rotfl:

to be a guest is expensive enough as it is esp if you have to travel / stay over the night ,new outfits etc

and thats before the gift :eek:

honestly no one EXPECTS to get back / recoup what is spent

if they didnt want to spend that amount on you as a guest then they wouldnt have invited you

VickyA_2

Rachie_B wrote:

honestly no one EXPECTS to get back / recoup what is spent

if they didnt want to spend that amount on you as a guest then they wouldnt have invited you

Or they're materialistic people that aren't worth knowing?

A friend of my mum's was telling me about her god daughter who had put a £4000 tv on her list! Apparently she doesn't know anyone who are complete and utter mugs. Needless to say, they didn't get a tv.................

Poppy9

Rachie_B wrote:

oh god not another one :rotfl:
........honestly no one EXPECTS to get back / recoup what is spent

if they didnt want to spend that amount on you as a guest then they wouldnt have invited you

I think you are wrong here. I do think that some people expect a gift eqivalent to what they are spending on you by inviting you to the wedding. It' probably the same people who feel they have to give a gift of equal value. They feel this because it's what they would expect.

I think if the bride & groom are paying for the wedding themselves they soon cut back on the wedding guests (and all the silly extras) as they realise they could spend their money more wisely. However when parents are paying for the weddings some B&G might see 100 guests = 100 presents.

Kids do this all the time with birthday parties. Invite the whole class for 30 presents:o

NB I've underlined some as I don't wish to tarnish one and all the same.

Rachie_B

Poppy9 wrote:

I think you are wrong here. I do think that some people expect a gift eqivalent to what they are spending on you by inviting you to the wedding. It' probably the same people who feel they have to give a gift of equal value. They feel this because it's what they would expect.I think if the bride & groom are paying for the wedding themselves they soon cut back on the wedding guests (and all the silly extras) as they realise they could spend their money more wisely. However when parents are paying for the weddings some B&G might see 100 guests = 100 presents.

Kids do this all the time with birthday parties. Invite the whole class for 30 presents:o NB I've underlined some as I don't wish to tarnish one and all the same.

:eek:

ok obviously there are some who TBH only get married for "the party and presents" im glad i wasnt one of them or know anyone like that :eek:

well none that would admit it anyway :rotfl:

out of all the weddings ive been to ,close friends / family etc and ive been involved in the planning of some ,no one has ever mentioned this and it certainly never crossed mine and hubs mind !

maybe i just dont hang round with that money grabbing materialistic kinda folk thank god :eek: :rotfl:

and 100 guests = 100 gifts

yes im not saying DONT buy or even expect a gift ,because lets face it ,i dont think many people attend a wedding without taking a gift of some sort,
but who says it has to equate the value of the meal etc

what happened to its the thought that counts

esp as ive said befere said guests have travelled and spent money on accomodation etc

to then expect the same back as a gift is just soooooooooo wrong ! :rolleyes:

you can only afford to give what you can afford some of our better gifts were ones which had lots of thought behind them but probably didnt cost a lot,but to have the friend there was the main thing :T

yes im sure that there are lots of "les and cillas" out there but like i said im glad i dont know any of them

i think you "know" who the money grabbing sort are

we were invited to an evening reception yrs ago when we lived back home(didnt know them hugely well )and the invite came with a huuuuuuge giftlist in it :eek: :rolleyes: with expensive stuff on!!!

so we attended and gave £10 in a card as did most of the other evening guests we knew :rotfl: bet the B&G were gutted :rotfl:

Rachie_B

VickyA wrote:

Or they're materialistic people that aren't worth knowing?

A friend of my mum's was telling me about her god daughter who had put a £4000 tv on her list! Apparently she doesn't know anyone who are complete and utter mugs. Needless to say, they didn't get a tv.................

:rotfl: :rotfl:

thats just madness :rolleyes: :rotfl:

4k for a telly ,dont think id pay that even if i won the lottery

imagine how many pairs of shoes that could buy :eek: :beer: :rotfl: