Perfect Wedding Present?

Rachie_B

miaxmia wrote:

You missed my point, this wasn't about what the bride and groom "expect to get back" at all, it was a simple justification on my part as to how much I think is reasonable to give as a wedding present - I think it's a bit mean to give a tenner and then go and have a nice slap up meal!!!

who said a tenner ? lol
i just think that it costs a hell of a lot to be a guest to be able to attend a lot of weddings

ie if you have to travel or stay over etc also cost of outfits ,drinks (if not provided)
So to then "spend as much on them as they have on me" increases the cost considerably :eek: would be great to be able to afford to do that but i know we couldnt every trime we were invited to a wedding !!

sarahlouise210

hjb123 wrote:

If I was invited to the wedding to the day and night reception I generally say approximately £20 per person. If I was just in on the night do I say £10 per person (£20 for a couple).

Personally I prefer it when people have made wedding lists at Argos or Debenhams and you can buy a gift online off the list - it makes it feel more personal whereas I feel money can be spent on anything but an actual present you can say yeah such a person bought us that for our wedding

I can honestly say that it would never have ocurred to me to price my wedding present based on what part of the day I had been invited to!! I would base it on how close I was to the person and how much they needed the gift. For example I may spend more on a close friend who has not yet accumulated a house full of items than I would on a distant relative who already has a ready made home.Every case would be individual and not determined by if I was going to see the church, dinner and supper!! Bizarre.
As a rule I would say £30 is enough for a decent present and not too expensive to be embarrassing.

Poppy9

I have a wedding soon. Just been browsing the list on Debenhams. Not much on there under £15. I've already spent £90 on bridesmaid out fit for DD and I still need to pay hairdresser for her and me. Then there's my outfit to buy. OH is wearing his wedding and funeral suit so just a new shirt and tie for him. Wedding is localish but will need a taxi home so that will cost about £20, so our free meals are costing us about £200:rolleyes:

Anyway for a night do we went to recently I bought two bottles of wine and put one in a pink and one in a blue wine bag. Cost about £17. The wedding was a work colleague who we were not particulary friendly with we had just been invited out of politeness. My OH was invited to a day wedding by a colleague last year and they all clubbed together to get a pressie. There were about 12 of them but I thought the £10 each was a bit mean. Apparently some were too tight to give more so we bought a bottle of bubbly too.

Generally I would say if you can afford it £20+. How big the + is depends on how much you would spend on yourself without really thinking about it. ie. if you see nice bedding in shop @ £100 would you buy it for yourself. If not then it's too much to give.

When I got married 20 years ago I was given things like toasters, kettles, hoover, crockery etc. I wish someone had thought to get me a sieve, collander, bottle opener, pallete knife etc.

Rachie_B

Poppy9 wrote:

I have a wedding soon. Just been browsing the list on Debenhams. Not much on there under £15. I've already spent £90 on bridesmaid out fit for DD and I still need to pay hairdresser for her and me. Then there's my outfit to buy. OH is wearing his wedding and funeral suit so just a new shirt and tie for him. Wedding is localish but will need a taxi home so that will cost about £20, so our free meals are costing us about £200:rolleyes:

Anyway for a night do we went to recently I bought two bottles of wine and put one in a pink and one in a blue wine bag. Cost about £17. The wedding was a work colleague who we were not particulary friendly with we had just been invited out of politeness. My OH was invited to a day wedding by a colleague last year and they all clubbed together to get a pressie. There were about 12 of them but I thought the £10 each was a bit mean. Apparently some were too tight to give more so we bought a bottle of bubbly too.

Generally I would say if you can afford it £20+. How big the + is depends on how much you would spend on yourself without really thinking about it. ie. if you see nice bedding in shop @ £100 would you buy it for yourself. If not then it's too much to give.

When I got married 20 years ago I was given things like toasters, kettles, hoover, crockery etc. I wish someone had thought to get me a sieve, collander, bottle opener, pallete knife etc.

:eek: thats another thing we would never have done ,IMO if you ask someone to be an attendant you pay for their outfit

my SIL made everyone of the best men / ushers pay for their own suit hire,would have been fine if she had told them in advance but they only found out when they went to pick up the suits a few days before the wedding :eek: :eek: :rotfl:

even my hubby who was giving her away had to pay for his own !!!

Poppy9

I offered to pay for the bridesmaid outfit. My sister was refused initially but I insisted seen as she had so much else to pay for. DD so delighted to be bridesmaid for the first time it's worth every penny and I know the wedding is costing my sister a fortune as here daughter is sparing no expense - well she isn't paying:rolleyes:

callansdad

8pnoodles wrote:

Check out some of the wedding planning forums and see the stress your average bride goes through to keep her family and friends happy. You think it's bad being a guest planning to go to a wedding, try throwing the whole event!!!! (Four months 22 days to go and counting...)

Congrats by the way. I know what you mean, we only have under 7 wks to go and i want the ground to swallow me up whole. We had made most of the plans and bookings before anyone knew just so they couldn't have a say......it didn't stop them. I could write a novel on it now lol

ms_london

miaxmia wrote:

If you are going to the main wedding reception and it is going to be a nice "do", I think £50 is a reasonable amount to spend (assuming you are going with a partner and giving a joint present) - the bride's parents have probably spent at least that amount on a nice meal and drinks, if not more (weddings don't come cheap), so I look on it that a nice meal with wine for 2 is probably worth £50, so I look on it as it is reasonable to spend the same in return for what has been spent on your meal.

I dont agree with this. As I have said in another post, I dont think people should expect to "recoup" the cost of the wedding in the form of gifts!! At the end of the day, if they want to spend £25 per head on the reception - let them, its not up to you to feel you have to get them a gift to cover this amount!! And I am sorry, but are bride's parents still expected to pay for the wedding? And why?

Poppy9

I booked my own wedding and I didn't find it that stressful. Booked the church and reception a year in advance and then the remainder just 3 months before, including my frock. All my parents had to do was give me a financial donation which I added to my own budget. My In-laws also gave a donation to our wedding fund too which was nice of them. I of course didn't expect or receive a wedding present from either set of parents. I think my wedding cost £2.5k max which included the honeymoon. Mind you it was 20 years ago.

ms_london

I havent been married myself (yet) but I think weddings can be as stressful or as easy as you make them. For one day it seems like a bit too much stress for my liking - I would rather have a quiet & simple do & concentrate on the being "married" part. I think if you build the actual wedding up too much, you could feel a bit "deflated" after the day??!!!! xx

Rachie_B

ms_london wrote:

I dont agree with this. As I have said in another post, I dont think people should expect to "recoup" the cost of the wedding in the form of gifts!! At the end of the day, if they want to spend £25 per head on the reception - let them, its not up to you to feel you have to get them a gift to cover this amount!! And I am sorry, but are bride's parents still expected to pay for the wedding? And why?

glad im not the only one who is having problems getting my head round this bizarre idea ! lol