Perfect Wedding Present?

equitydealer

gingercordial wrote:

Maybe he didn't have much cash on him? Always seems to happen to me whenever suddenly it's a collection at work, as I hardly ever use cash! Then I have to top it up later after I've got some out. (Pressed thanks instead of quote BTW but never mind!)

I'd normally spend around £25-£30 on a present. I don't like giving cash as a wedding present as it's too impersonal so tend to just give a present anyway. The last wedding I went to was donations to charity so we were happy to give £50. But most importantly make sure you only give what you can afford!

Nah, he's a tight sod. He spends around £20 a day at Starbucks and drives his new Merc car into work everyday (London!)

Not that I am jealous in any way.

Rachie_B

VickyA wrote:

My sentiments exactly Rachie B! My parents are paying for the whole wedding and are embarassed by the whole wedding list idea. Some of our friends have requested details of our list, but our relations and parents' friends won't be receiving it.......... unless they ask for it.

All I want for my wedding day is my close friends and relatives to be there to see me get married. If they get me a present, well that's incredibly generous of them. If they don't, then it's very generous of them to spend the money in getting to my wedding as where we're getting married (ie my parents' village) is slightly out of the way of civilisation!

same here

bluesnice

I've been to 2 weddings in the past 2 months! Both were weekend events that required us to stay over at the wedding locaton. The rooms cost us £100ish a night, then there was the petrol and outfit costs to name a few!

I gave £25 to each couple. At first I did think it a bit mean, but I justified it by considering the other costs.

VickyA_2

bluesnice wrote:

I've been to 2 weddings in the past 2 months! Both were weekend events that required us to stay over at the wedding locaton. The rooms cost us £100ish a night, then there was the petrol and outfit costs to name a few!

I gave £25 to each couple. At first I did think it a bit mean, but I justified it by considering the other costs.

I know what you mean! A few years ago, some of OH's friends got married. I was invited to the hen do at a cost of (in the end) £300, he went to the stag do for £150. THEN I had to buy my outfit which has luckily done me quite a few weddings and is still on the circuit . They got a present of £30.

The groom was really apologetic when he realised how much his wedding had cost us! He couldn't believe the cost of the hen do (he ended up paying for his now wife) as it was all a secret to her until she got there. That was the time when I was up to my overdraft limit and withdrawing cash using my credit card :eek: :wall:

That's why I'm not overly fussed about getting presents from anyone and I just want them to be there.

gingercordial

equitydealer wrote:

Nah, he's a tight sod. He spends around £20 a day at Starbucks and drives his new Merc car into work everyday (London!)

Not that I am jealous in any way.

Fair enough!

Bogof_Babe

When you think about it, attendance at the wedding is really for the benefit of the betrothed, not the guests. Being blatantly honest, it ties up your day/weekend, costs a small bomb in both planning time and expense, and what do you actually get? A free meal and a few hours with a lot of people you barely know.

There was a classic line on Last of the Summer Wine this evening.... "He's not here, he's had to go to a wedding". "Oh, that's terrible, I'm so sorry"... or words to that effect.

Weddings are lovely for the bride, groom and immediate family. Everyone else is too taken up with the logistics and practicalities to actually enjoy it for its own sake. For women, the cost of "something to wear" is a major problem, plus the hassle of finding something suitable.

Put it another way - if I was invited to either a wedding or a barbecue with friends, I know which I'd prefer.

miaxmia

Rachie_B wrote:

or even the grooms parents / the bride and groom themselves

i dont agree with the "spend on a gift what you think it will have cost them to invite you " kind of attitude

no way did we ever think ok its costing us £xxxx per person to invite / feed etc so we expect at least that as a gift in return :eek:

you dont get married / plan the day with the intention to "get your money back in gifts" lol

just find that whole idea very strange indeed

You missed my point, this wasn't about what the bride and groom "expect to get back" at all, it was a simple justification on my part as to how much I think is reasonable to give as a wedding present - I think it's a bit mean to give a tenner and then go and have a nice slap up meal!!!

8pnoodles

Bogof_Babe wrote:

Weddings are lovely for the bride, groom and immediate family. Everyone else is too taken up with the logistics and practicalities to actually enjoy it for its own sake.

I've been to a fair few weddings and evening dos loved every one of them as a guest.

I've been married once and I'm about to do it again. I would reverse completely what you said and say weddings are lovely for the guests, the bride and groom are too taken up with the logistics and practicalities to actually enjoy it for its own sake. Check out some of the wedding planning forums and see the stress your average bride goes through to keep her family and friends happy. You think it's bad being a guest planning to go to a wedding, try throwing the whole event!!!! (Four months 22 days to go and counting...)

Honestly, still gobsmacked you implied brides aren't worried about the logistics of their weddings!!! :shocked:

As a bride I don't want people to think they need to "pay back the cost of my wedding". But equally, when I'm a guest I want to give them a good present because I know weddings often cost a lot per head to have.

Getting back to the original point, when I'm very broke or have short notice I'd get what I can afford. But I don't think I'd ever spend less than £25 as a day guest, from me and my bloke as a couple.

Bogof_Babe

8pnoodles wrote:

Honestly, still gobsmacked you implied brides aren't worried about the logistics of their weddings!!! :shocked:

I apologise if that's the implication you took from my post. It's been more than three decades since I tied the knot, and in those days the bride's (i.e. my) parents did the organizing. It was register office (nothing dubious, just found that our parish church wouldn't wed you unless you were regular churchgoers) and very simple. We just wanted to be married, not to put on a big show. It was relatives only at the ceremony, and back to the parents' house for lunch.

We had an evening do, where friends came in casual dress and we paid for a disco and a buffet. The whole day came in at around £400, including our outfits.

Oh I have digressed - as regards wedding presents, our friends bought us tea towels, dusters, cheap ornaments. One couple gave us a "room divider" (fashionable in those days) that they had finished with. My own parents gave us a tea service.

I'm so glad we got the wedding thing over with before spending stupid amounts of money on one day became the norm.

fiobee

Murtle wrote:

I was just wondering what kind of amount would be suitable for a wedding present when giving either as cash or on a wedding list?... I have a reasonable salary and they are very good friends.

The same as you spend on their birthday presents combined.