The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 4

graemecarter

So great to have loads of new people posting. They keep the thread active, young, and help us remember where we came from.
Welcome all.
For me personally, I was all or nothing. Having just one drink would never be enough - I would always want more. I didn't always have more, but I always had the desire to have another one.
That meant if I went out for 'a quick drink' I could never guarantee if it was going to be, 1, 2, 5 or 17 etc

I knew I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for years, but I did my best to ignore it. Alcoholism made me selfish - I would be hungover at the weekend when I should be active and enjoy playing with my kids.
I would say I would be back for dinner at 8pm, and sometimes not show up until the early hours in the morning. I would arrange to meet people, but if I was in a bar I would always have one more and that would make me late.
I would regulate my wife's spending, but then blow a fortune on booze.
All these selfish acts, and I always thought that I was a really good bloke, excellent husband and father etc.....
The denial is so strong - in my alcoholism, I couldn't see the wood for the trees.

I am glad to say that it is not like that now - I haven't had that first drink for a while now, and also no longer want to drink. I don't have to go out without money, avoid supermarkets in the evenings, etc
I put my head on the pillow each night knowing that drink has not made me selfish (I may have been selfish, but that is me, not drink) and can sleep soundly.
Also, not having a hangover is amazing!!

I tried cutting down & regulating my drinking. It didn't work for me
I tried not to drink Mon to Thur, only after 6pm, beer only, only when with wife, only when with clients, etc
I couldn't do it - I would break my rules after a while.
Thus stopping completely worked for me.

Good luck people - we all need it!!

maman

Just called in to catch up.

Welcome newbies:hello:
Gromit, it's not at all unusual for wine bells to ring so early. I've been on this thread since January (admittedly as a cutter-down) and they still ring loudly. You have to discipline yourself to KEEP OUT OF THE CO-OP!!! Make your mind up you're going to be AF tonight and perhaps plan something other than drinking wine. Lots of us buy in special soft drinks or find something else to do. Just give tonight a try, I promise you'll love yourself!!

BarneyD, my OH is a beer drinker and as I'm only tempted by wine (mainly red) it doesn't bother me to sit with him while he's drinking in the evenings. OH is a moderate drinker though. He probably drinks less than I do even now. Just a bottle or two of 'good' beer and then if he's really pushing the boat out one or two of those very weak French beers. Perhaps your OH will cut down when he sees you succeeding.

Cazza, good luck for tonight. I've never been to AA but people say that all groups are different so if you don't feel comfortable tonight try another! You're a brave, strong lady, go for it!!

Well done the rest of you sounding so pleased and positive and Jo hope the decorating/cleaning bug stll has its teeth firmly into you!

Off out dancing as usual tonight so AF easy!

wb hope you found your DD:rotfl:

barshamhillbilly

mumofboys wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Gotta love 'em. Do you think we will ever be like that?

Yep I can hear myself taking to the older 3 sometimes and then think - Oh hell, that sounded just like my dad :eek:

Kilmaley01

Mamam, I know you are right.....I just beat my way around it by saying "I've had a cr*p day at work and I deserve a glass of wine".

I'm trying to stop smoking as well as I had a back operation 8 weeks ago and then got an infection in the wound and Surgeon told me how bad smoking was for stopping healing etc - particularly in your back.

I'm not sure whether to stick to one 'giving up' item for now - trouble is for me those two go 'hand in hand'. Poor OH will be moving out or walking on eggshells lol!

Thanks guys for all the encouragement and support. x

beachbeth

DEBTMONKEY1A wrote: »

Hi...Yup that pain in the side is your liver...(!) I dare not look up WHY it hurts but a Doctor friend of mine years ago said that the liver can get tender if its abused!

Im not a doctor but a pain in your side isn't necessarily your liver. Depends whereabouts the pain is I suppose. My daughter used to get quite bad pain in her side when she drank alcohol (we've ended up at A&E!) and it turned out to be one of her kidneys at fault. (She was about 18) She had an x-ray and they found she had a little kink in the pipe that runs between her kidney and bladder. She ended up having an operation to correct this and even though she is fine now, still doesn't drink much alcohol. It put her off.

So alcohol affects other organs and not just your liver. Another reason not to drink.:rolleyes:

eyeopener2

Hi All

When I look back at this (nearly) a month a not drinking I can't believe I was that person compared to how I feel now.

My skin isn't dry, my back doesn't hurt, I sleep like a log, my brain feels alive, I want to do stuff that doesn't revolve around drinking. Like going out on a Saturday afternoon with wife n child ,and not suggesting PUB for a meal and OH having to drive back, and of course stopping at an off licence on the way home. We now do stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It s not easy this but now i've come this far i am NOT going back!!!!!!!

E

GreyPilgrim

Mrs P, as of tonight I'll have total of 5/30.

Fairly pathetic I know. I don't want to talk about it.

115K

graemecarter wrote: »

I knew I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol for years, but I did my best to ignore it. Alcoholism made me selfish - I would be hungover at the weekend when I should be active and enjoy playing with my kids.
I would say I would be back for dinner at 8pm, and sometimes not show up until the early hours in the morning. I would arrange to meet people, but if I was in a bar I would always have one more and that would make me late.
I would regulate my wife's spending, but then blow a fortune on booze.
All these selfish acts, and I always thought that I was a really good bloke, excellent husband and father etc.....

GC - that sounds exactly like my Dad's behaviour when I was a child. I don't talk to him or my Mum (also alcoholic) anymore.

:wave: to new people. It's great to have you here.

Thanks Budget Babe for mentioning me a while back, you are always so thoughtful. I hope you are able to sort out your DH's illness and get some help for yourself too. The important thing I was worried about was to do with my mental health. I don't think I have said this on here before but half my problem with alcohol is that I use it as self-medicating for my depression. I have been on a very high dose of anti-depressants for a while now and I know I shouldn't drink on them but drinking alcohol gets rid of the side-effects of the tablets. I know it is silly and possibly dangerous. :rolleyes:

I'm still only on 2/31 days AF.

115K

GreyPilgrim wrote: »

Mrs P, as of tonight I'll have total of 5/30.
Fairly pathetic I know. I don't want to talk about it.

You are still doing better than me. 5/10 AF days is still good.:T

GreyPilgrim

115K wrote: »

You are still doing better than me. 5/10 AF days is still good.:T

Must...(THUMP!)...Beat...(THUMP!)...Myself...(THUMP!)...For...(THUMP!)...Failure...(THUMP!)

Mind you I've been doing lots of other healthy stuff (not that that's an excuse of course).

Bicycle computer says I have done about 320 miles, which is actually about 1.3% of the distance around the earth's equator...