The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 4

Pippilongstocking

Morning all - back to the paint brush coal face this am

Waves to Miss P cup coffee in hand - morning all.

Off to catch up on what you lot been upto - I survived the BBQ and then went shopping - hurrah.

Had one glass beer with curry with OH so not AF but not too crazy lady either.

On wagon as of now for rest of month - promise to use fingers and toes and give you an AFD count so far later on Miss P

Excellent scoring this month so far - hope you aren't finding things too tricky.

OH and I discussed serious stuff last night - well trying to set a date anyway..................or at least get a bit of a consensus - waves to all

barneydee_2

Hi
I have been reading through this thread and must admit you are a great lot with lots
of support and that is what I need, I have posted on here before but have been post
ing because I have still been drinking.
Well a little about myself, I'm in my fifties am married and have two dd. We are
in debt and finding it tough going, but since I have found this website I can only
sing it's praises as it has help us such a lot.The reason we got in debt was due to
my having gone from a job paying £25K to £13k.
The next problem I want to takle is my drinking, which I would say has got worse
in the last five years since my Darling mother,who I adored died, followed a year
later by father, then i was made redundant a year later and was out of work for six
months.Like Beachbeth I am worried that I am damaging my health and I want to
get better Will you help? Dee

Pippilongstocking

Barneydee and Beachbeth - sorry to lump you both in together but both of you touched me this am and what a positive lovely first step just posting -

I can't tell you both how much this whole site has helped me and if you feel upto it why not join us in an AFD (Alcohol free day) or two - ? There's always room on the wagon, most of us have been or are worried about our health and general well being so you will be in good company.

Sorry to hear about the problems you have both been having - sending you a lovely big hug. Some of the others are better at specific advice - and maybe someone else can suggest something further - for now though I can move over a bit and offer a comfy seat on the wagon today

x

PS Goodluck
PPS - WOW Cazzamazza well done on tackling the OH and good luck tonight , FUAS - hugs sweetie and waves to the rest of you.

DEBTMONKEY1A

Does anyone have links to sites that tell you the physical benefits of abstaining? Would be interested to know the physical 'plus's of say having a month of alcohol, ie what things heal, improve...would be very motivational!

barneydee_2

Fay
yes please can I take a seat on the wagon ? I want to stay on the wagon till Saturday at least OH Bday and then after that as long as poss.

I know it will be hard but I have a lot of reasons for doing this:
1)my health and sanity
2)for my family as it is tearing us a part ,both of my dd's want me to give up.
3)money as with the help of this site things on the debt side are getting better,but would get a lot better if we were not spending so much on drink(we being me and oh who will not give up) I had a rough tally up of what I spend on wine,are you ready £168.00 a month :eek: well this could go to one of our debts.

Have you any tips on how to overcome the urges to drink, I know that at the moment I do it to block our problems out but then they come back in the morning with avengance.(sorry about my spelling it's not very good)

Also how long did it take for you to start feeling better about yourself? sorry so many questions but I do feel that I hav come to the right place of advice.


Dee

winebox

Welcome back beachbeth, & hi to barneydee - stick around!

Good to have you back Fay. Glad your stripey-ness hasn't abated.

Just been catching up on the weekend stuff

Fedupski I'm so so sorry about your dog (your post was just after mine saying I'm an idiot over animals, esp dogs). Don't want to set you off again so won't go on but can't imagine life without mine; my heart goes out to you.

Budgie as I've only seen your post this morning everyone else has got in first & said it, better than I could've done...but I agree with everyone! You & OH both need some help & support. Good luck getting stuff sorted this week.

Funny how everyone was on here Sat night about the naff telly - just what me & OH were saying at the time! Not even Casualty!!

Jo good on ya!

Caz hope the meeting goes / went well.

Hi to everyone...better do some work now, back later!

barshamhillbilly

Morning All

Welcome aboard Barneydee and and welcome back Beachbeth :hello:

Got through yesterday OK - parents went home without an axe in their shoulders .... though it was a close call at one stage

Unfortunately gave in big time and had 9 units of beer .... so Miss P that's whatever it says at the bottom here

Am really gonna have to slow down after tomorrow as am nearly half way through my units and its only the 10th :eek:

DD1 is 23 today (even more :eek::eek::eek::eek:) , she is travelling all day to get here for the funeral tomorrow. What a way to spend your birthday hey ? Mind you, her OH did take her out over the weekend for a treat or two.

Just got to get Mrs BHB through tomorrow now and HOPEFULLY things will settle into a routine of sorts again.

Perhaps then I can concentrate a bit and reduce the consumption or even have a day or two without :rolleyes:;)

Hope everyone is OK, I have not really had a chance to read through properly so have no idea what you are all up to. Not too much mischief I hope ?

Best Wishes
Andy
xx

ForeverHopeful_3

Morning eveyone :wave:

I haven't been around for a few days and am in work. So haven't had a chance to catch up properly, sorry.

I've been crazy busy. I don't know why I insist on doing so much on my days off. I then have no time for housework type chores, get stressed about everything and end up pouring a glass of wine

No more AFD to report :rolleyes:

I am absolutely cream crackered this morning because of all of the above! I did go to bed really early last night and slept right through until 5am. But I still really struggled to get out of bed at 6:30am.

I'm not sure how to put into words how I'm feeling today. I obviously have a few issues that need addressing. I also really need a couple of days in the house, just me and the kids. But already I've been invited out for the day on Thursday, my mum wants to take my eldest for a sleepover on Friday. She'll no doubt take him home on Saturday and expect to stay the night. Then I've got the in-laws visiting the boys on Sunday. I just never get any peace and quiet on my own anymore!

My brother came down with his daughter yesterday at lunch-time. I rustled up some pizza and chips. But then he expected to stay for tea aswell!!! I had to put my foot down and say no. I made an excuse that I only had enough food for me and the boys. He later phoned to tell my mum, so it was obviously a problem that I hadn't invited them to stay :mad: I'm not a charity though and really need some family time on my own.

Mr FH gets home the following week. It's my youngests birthday, so more planning required and we'll have to have family over I suppose. Then it's our wedding anniversary the following weekend. We would like to go out for a meal or something. But that means my mum will have to stay to allow us out. I JUST WANT MY HOUSE TO MYSELF!!!!!!!!!! :rotfl:

Sorry for the "Me" post.

Much love X

ForeverHopeful_3

A very quick post but have just been reading back.

Budgie~(((hugs))) how dreadful for all concerned. Depression is an all consuming illness. My cousin suffered and actually took his own life. Which at the time, I felt really sad for him. But then I thought, how selfish. He left behind a loving, supportive family, who will live with the guilt that they didn't do enough, for the rest of their lives.

I know it isn't all straight forward and there can be no reasoning sometimes. But do remember to take of YOU aswell.

Much love X

Pippilongstocking

barneydee wrote: »

Fay
yes please can I take a seat on the wagon ? I want to stay on the wagon till Saturday at least OH Bday and then after that as long as poss.

I know it will be hard but I have a lot of reasons for doing this:
1)my health and sanity
2)for my family as it is tearing us a part ,both of my dd's want me to give up.
3)money as with the help of this site things on the debt side are getting better,but would get a lot better if we were not spending so much on drink(we being me and oh who will not give up) I had a rough tally up of what I spend on wine,are you ready £168.00 a month :eek: well this could go to one of our debts.

Have you any tips on how to overcome the urges to drink, I know that at the moment I do it to block our problems out but then they come back in the morning with avengance.(sorry about my spelling it's not very good)

Also how long did it take for you to start feeling better about yourself? sorry so many questions but I do feel that I hav come to the right place of advice.


Dee

Hiya - um no idea how to help really but I can tell you about me ...............I started to feel better mentally initially by just taking a bit of control and saying OK I can do this - I hope. Its amazing how good you feel inside yourself when you don't drink.

These are by no means things to do but here's how I started to help myself. And lots of the advice and ideas came from being on here and just taking bits that worked for me. (thanks chaps )

All alcohol is out of my house - I don't buy any nor do I store any I am useless and will drink it even when I promise myself I wont. I gave it away - and if I do ever have anything - anything left is tipped down the sink in the morning.

I use to put my wine money in a jar on my desk in the morning - ie if I wanted to drink I had to take the money out of the jar - the money in the jar was initially used for treats for me - flowers, candles all the things I use to look at but not treat myself too. It really helped me - but hten again I love flowers. I also wanted a duck down jacket and got one finally with wine money saved up - and some boots - wee treats to make me think OK that WAS wine money - now look at it - I have some nice things instead of a sore head.

Now I use my drink money to pay my loan off - £5 a day - instantly from the bank then the money is spent on the loan and I can't use it for wine. The signature at the bottom is the loan I have overpaid on - its NOT all wine :rotfl:I hasten to add but there is a good chunk >£35 a week is absolutely from wine money.

When I am feelign particularily like wine and I know my danger time - 4-10pm - I often lock my purse away or leave them locked at work - or in the car or somewhere not easily accessible - then I can't buy anything.

I do have feelings of Oh S*D it - but by the time I have untangled my purse from whichever hiding place I have put it in - I am often asking myself if I really want a drink.

I often offer to drive places - or arrange things early in the morning which also puts me off drinking.

I also avoid the supermarket between 4pm and 10pm if I can - cos I know I will buy alcohol so now I shop at lunchtime or in the mornings often as wine deosnt cross my mind at that time of day.

These don't all work all the time and its just how I have tried to sabbotage my wine buying and therefore my drinking.

Within one month of abstaining I have lost just over a stone - discovered a waist and now fit some of my older clothes.

I do sleep better and don't have that horrible paranoid yukky feeling of OMG what have I done or said last night who did I phone etc.

No idea if any of that helps - but that's some of the silly things I do to try and keep myself on the clear and narrow.

Oh and I do take a supplement called Kudzu - google it if you like - its easy to get hold of - more folks on here know more about it than me.

Being sober makes the evenings longer - I have taken up reading again - which I love - but avoid still at the moment sitting down with a movie as its normally when I dirnk wine. If I do watch a movie its normally now AFTER 10pm when the shops close and I cant buy any wine.

Will stop rambling now.

PS last thing - when I fall off - I try not to give myself a hard time, tell myself I am a work in progress and take each new day as it comes starting afresh.