The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread! Part 4

maman

:hello:

DEBTMONKEY1A wrote: »

I guess maybe there were say 4 nuts if booze in my glassed so ...

DM, don't be offended but are you sure you only had two glasses last night!!:rotfl:

cazza, very well done on your decision. it has to be worth a try, especially as you have so many groups to choose from.:T
Mob, are you planning to build up days as you go rather than set a target? I think that's a really good start and tonight you have your own special buddies to help you along. Good luck with your call, you'll feel better when it's over.

Jo, I know you said your OH is a man of few words and you've also referred to him as 'dense' but won't he be thinking over what you said while he's at work today? What's for dinner tonight?

Feeling pretty tired now, but DD got off fine. Have a good afternoon all TGIF!!

P.S. DD has gone to Kosice in Slovakia, got the wrong half!!

tangochick

Hi,
My husband died last friday, aged 40 leaving me (his wife) and his 2 children under 5.
He was a kind & loving man, until last year he was a wonderful husband and daddy.
I dont know exactly when his drinking got out of hand, he hid it well. I would say only 18months to 2 years ago, although we've both always liked a drink.
He was unlucky, his body couldnt handle it, he was built like a rugby player & was strong, he never got ill, if anyone could handle it- people thought he could.

Alcoholism is a shocking illness & i am sorry it affects so many people.
I knew nothing about it until last year & was so ignorant, i didnt understand why my husband couldnt just stop.
His biggest problem was denial, he convinced himself that he was fine, not even taking notice of doctors. He hadnt really accepted that he had a problem, even tho blood tests & liver specialist had said he should stop.

He would be devastated if he had known this would happen, he loved his kids so much, his personality just went.
He went into hospital with alcoholic hepatitus 4 wks before his death,
he was walking & talking, and within a few wks he couldnt, he was extremely ill and jaundiced and scared.

if you know anyone who has a problem with drink, please tell them this from me and urge them to get help before its too late.
My husband will have so many people at his funeral who loved him, yet none of us could help him.
Be strong.
It is a terrible illness.
xx

jo1972

Hi Maman, yeah he'll be mulling it over, but I've spoken to him and he sounds fine Haven't decided on dinner yet, I think I'll let him choose

Had 2 pieces of good luck today, post arrived, one was a pin number for a credit card that I applied for the other day. My credit history is so bad and I've managed to pay it all off and been trying to sort my credit reference out. I thought I'd finally go for a credit card, use it ocassionally and pay off full balance at end of month to improve my credit score and I actually got one!!!!! That's the first bit of credit I've been given for over 10 years :D:D

Secondly, opened the next letter which was from the council. We live in council accommodation and only have 2 bedrooms for the 5 of us, crowded is not the word, been on the list for a transfer for 3 years, apparently the average wait is 8 years which would be no good cos DD1 would've probably moved and we won't be eligible anymore :undecided (I read in the paper that somewhere in Cornwall or somewhere like that (???) the average wait for a house transfer is 213 years!!!!! So anyway, this letter has asked if we would like to be proposed to be put on a scheme that will be starting soon for a loft conversion

So happy that I'm going to order pizza for lunch now :drool:

xx

jo1972

Oh Tangochic, I am so sorry for your loss, words can't convey anything to make you feel better. Thank you so much for posting xx

Miss_Piggy_2

Afternoon all

Jo - phew!! Pleased to hear it went ok. I've been really worried! Good news about the loft conversion too!!

Cazza - GC may be right. If you are feeling really down it may be an idea to find a meeting earlier than Monday. Although it seems such a huge, momentous decision to make, its got to be better than how you are feeling right now? Good luck and lots of ((hugs))

Tangochick - thank you so much for posting at what must be a hugely difficult time. Its things like this that make us ALL stop and think

I've had an eventful morning myself. SIL was working from home today so had to sort of clean around her. Piglet was a nightmare, generally misbehaving and making life a bit difficult. At one point the phone rang and when I answered it, it was the local police control room. Piglet had only been playing with the phone and dialled 999!!!:eek: I'm glad I answered the phone (normally wouldn't but SIL was expecting a call) or we might have had big burly policemen breaking down the door (oh the thought of that !!:rotfl::o)

So, just got home and about to have a brief coffee before heading off to mums with naughtly piglet before I go to work. Its all go!!!

Miss P
xx

graemecarter

tangochick wrote: »

Hi,
My husband died last friday, aged 40 leaving me (his wife) and his 2 children under 5.
He was a kind & loving man, until last year he was a wonderful husband and daddy.
I dont know exactly when his drinking got out of hand, he hid it well. I would say only 18months to 2 years ago, although we've both always liked a drink.
He was unlucky, his body couldnt handle it, he was built like a rugby player & was strong, he never got ill, if anyone could handle it- people thought he could.

Alcoholism is a shocking illness & i am sorry it affects so many people.
I knew nothing about it until last year & was so ignorant, i didnt understand why my husband couldnt just stop.
His biggest problem was denial, he convinced himself that he was fine, not even taking notice of doctors. He hadnt really accepted that he had a problem, even tho blood tests & liver specialist had said he should stop.

He would be devastated if he had known this would happen, he loved his kids so much, his personality just went.
He went into hospital with alcoholic hepatitus 4 wks before his death,
he was walking & talking, and within a few wks he couldnt, he was extremely ill and jaundiced and scared.

if you know anyone who has a problem with drink, please tell them this from me and urge them to get help before its too late.
My husband will have so many people at his funeral who loved him, yet none of us could help him.
Be strong.
It is a terrible illness.
xx

Great post Tangochick - while that is devastating for you and your family and friends, it is a reminder to all of us the danger of drinking.
The secrecy, the denial, ignoring the doctors, etc all classic symptoms of this deadly illness.
What is most important is how the illness progressed in him. His drinking increased, and thus his rate of deterioration. He wasn't a huge drinker when you met him, and then it got worse and worse. No-one thinks they will end up like that, and yet they do.
I hid my drinking from others and myself for years, however luckily I got help and admitted I had a problem before it was too late.
Many people die through drinking without ever getting help. The hole they leave behind (not to mention the chaos when in the whirlwind of alcoholism) has long lasting and long reaching effects.
This is powerful illness that should be treated with respect & caution. Many think they can beat it on their own. The truth is, many cannot.
The desire to stop drinking HAS to come from within - as much as anyone else wanted me to stop/cut down, I was not going to do anything until I was ready.
I hope your pain subsides quickly and you find happiness for you and your family soon

winebox

maman wrote: »

don't be offended but are you sure you only had two glasses last night!!:rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Miss_Piggy wrote: »

we might have had big burly policemen breaking down the door (oh the thought of that !!:rotfl::o)

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:again! & forgot to say yesterday Miss P how brilliantly you are doing on the af front! Mind you, along with the other laptop problems i had yesterday, at one point I could only write in Chinese so could've said what ever I liked & nobody would've known!!

Jo glad you've had some good news! & good luck with The Quiet One tonight.

Tangochick, I also thank you for posting at this time.

Cazza good luck for Monday.

I've had someone next to me at my desk all morning in work so unable to get up to my usual time-wasting tactics :rolleyes:

This is a quickie cos off to Swindon soon (hi Caz! Hi Miss P!) for an early birthday party (:eek:10 days to go yet!) so, erm, not af today (or yesterday, let myself down there big time but no hangover today ) so still on 5 but looking to up that after the weekend.

I'll be glad to get out of here tbh, next door has a wasps nest so the house is full of jaspers driving me nuts, they've been muck spreading somewhere too nearby, & there's a rat eating the bird food in the garden.

So, gotta run, probably not back until Monday.

Good luck 40sm mob & Jo for af Friday, & anyone else who joins in, & in case I don't make it (online!!) have a good wkend everyone x

winebox

Oh dear that post looks really inappropriate following on from GC's, which wasn't there when I started, sorry x

115K

How devastating for you Tangochick. My thoughts are with you during this terrible time.xxx

maman

Thanks for posting tangochick. It's a very salutory lesson for us all. My deepest sympathy to you and your young family.