The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

VK-2008

Girlies quick q
See with all the drugs enlarging your follies do you normally get more ovulation pain?
And if af comes bleed more?

Primmer

Just had call with adoption team at our local council and had to answer series of questions for them to establish whether to pass us for the next step. Thankfully all my answers seemed ok and we have been offered a place at an information evening in April - exciting times!

BZ - hope that the dream comes true in respect of BFP not the ignoring bit. Think it's understandable to have those thoughts about fostering, it's like our brains annoying way of stopping us being positive and excited but I think it's good to have something to focus on and fostering is such a great thing to do. I knew people when I was growing up who fostered and they really helped some young children who they looked after.

tea_lover

BZ, think it's perfectly normal to have times we feel less positive than others. I've gone totally the other way today...have spent the afternoon measuring our spare room and googling nursery furniture. Someone slap me!

I also had a weird dream that I was married to my grandad's GP. We had a VERY intense kiss...haven't been able to forget about it all day lol. Hope I don't bump into him anytime soon, I won't be able to look at him without some serious blushing!!

Eta - vk. My ovaries feel like they may explode...if that helps?!!

TeamLowe

BigZ I'm sure the dream is prophetic

Good luck to all those looking at fostering/adoption, some of the meetings I clerk discuss Looked After Children and I always leave wanting to adopt them all lol anything anyone can do to help those children is fantastic and I do want to adopt myself but I've always wanted to be pregnant and so I feel I need to give that the best shot possible and hopefully have one biological then adopt x

time2deal

Primmer - what were the questions? I always think about doing it, but not quite ready. Do they ask if you have local family, and/or if you plan to stay in the area long term?

VK - can't help on the ovulation pain. Like Tealover all I remember from the Stims is feeling bloated beyond belief. I also put on a good 5kg during the process. I've lost it all since, but I was horrified with what I weighed a few days before the egg collection.

Here's a weird thing that happened last night. DH went for a boys night with two friends, and as far as I can tell they discussed TTC for most of the night!! Everyone knows about us these days, but found out one other had also been trying for 2.5 years, and the other since January 2012. They discussed what they are doing, and that one guy has been given dates etc that he has to be home and ready for! Including drinking ban days etc. Very boshly wife!

They, at least, have one little boy. The two 'long termers' (including us) have no kids.

I was amazed they all talked about it. DH was saying it always surprises him when you talk about these things how many people do understand, and it makes it somehow easier. Same with cancer I found - so many people have had contact. A problem shared...

Which leads me to a dilemma. The other girl who has been trying for 2.5 years is someone I used to know well, but she has stepped away from the friendship group a little over the last few years (which I've done a little too). And everyone assumed they were trying, like us, and presumably talking and asking about it, so I can understand it. We aren't close... but... I was thinking I should reach out to her. Any thoughts?? Helpful, or uncomfortable do you think? How would you feel if a acquiantance/friend sent you an email sort of out of the blue??

For me, the big problem with that is that at some stage one of you will move on... and does that just make it more painful in the end...

TTC40

bigzippy wrote: »

How are our graduates doing? :wave:

Still lurking BZ - thanks for asking! I'm 8 weeks now & everything as it should be - although I'm a realist & know it could change at any time.

In the meantime I can't step away from you guys - I'm just hoping with everything crossed that you ALL graduate soon.

tea_lover

T2D, could the four of you (ie. You, her & your husbands) maybe do something? Go for a meal or a drink? Could give you both a chance to get closer if you'd like that, but without it being 'just' about ttc, iyswim. Chances are her OH has mentioned the conversation to her too.

Primmer

T2D - they asked if I had plans to move in next 12 months, asked if we had family and friends support network. They asked if we had experience with children either from family or volunteering with child groups. They asked if I had had fertility treatment, if we smoked, had pets, had a religion, would consider more than one child I.e. siblings. How many rooms in house, why we wanted to adopt etc which they use to decide whether they consider it is right time for you.

fluffnutter

time2deal wrote: »

Which leads me to a dilemma. The other girl who has been trying for 2.5 years is someone I used to know well, but she has stepped away from the friendship group a little over the last few years (which I've done a little too). And everyone assumed they were trying, like us, and presumably talking and asking about it, so I can understand it. We aren't close... but... I was thinking I should reach out to her. Any thoughts?? Helpful, or uncomfortable do you think? How would you feel if a acquiantance/friend sent you an email sort of out of the blue??

For me, the big problem with that is that at some stage one of you will move on... and does that just make it more painful in the end...

When I was going through fertility treatment I found out by chance that a work colleague was also trying. She just mentioned it one day whilst we were having a moan about how stressful we were finding our jobs. We hadn't been particularly close until then, friendly but didn't really know each other that well.

Over the coming year or so, she became one of the closest and most important people to me. To be able to share our experiences (we were at the same clinic having treatment at similar times) was fantastic as finally someone could really understand what I was going through.

Her baby's almost four months older than mine so I had to deal with the 'it worked for her, but not for me yet' issue (she fell pregnant on her second IVF attempt, me on my third). But actually I was just really happy for her. It's no worse than endless pregnancy announcements that we always have to deal with, in fact it's easier because it gives you hope. If it worked for her (at the same clinic!) it will work for me too.

I'd say reach out to your old friend. At worst, she'll simply not reply. At best, you might both find incredible support.

vseviour

Hey everyone,
Interesting talk about fostering and adoption, it's something we've said we'll look into after IVF, looking forward to hearing what you guys find out.
TTC40 - glad you're doing ok. Keep us updated! x
T2D, I agree about reaching out - I'd drop it into a conversation and see if she wants to talk about it. My bestie today asked if I'd chat to one of her friends (we've met once I think) that's going through similar things, I think it helps to talk. Also, I've found that telling a few people now makes me much more relaxed about the whole thing, which has to be good for TTC.
AFM, CD 50 :-( FS prescribed Norethestrine (?) for 5 days to trigger a bleed 5 days later so that I can start round 4 of Clomid.
Hope everyone is okay x