The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

codemonkey

Just popping out of lurkdom for some advice from you lovely ladies. After what feels like all eternity trying without so much as a positive test, I had a moment earlier where I couldn't stop crying and DH and I agreed it was time to get some help. We're registered at different GPs and mine offer same day appointments so will try to get one on Monday. I know you brave ladies will have been through this already but I'm scared. Can you tell me what I should expect please? I know it's different for everyone but an idea would be good. Should I take DH with me? Should I go with him?

tea_lover

I'm not sure I can do this. Only cd10 but I feel so rubbish, I just want to give up. Was supposed to be out tonight but ended up home within an hour, on my own. OH is still out & will be for hours yet. My head hurts from crying. I don't know if this is even worth it.

Primmer

Tealover - sending huge hugs. It the drugs making you emotional on top of your own feelings. I got a relaxation and visualisation cd which was specific to ivf and the treatment stages and found it really helpful. Could you try something similar to see if it would help relax you and calm you down.

Code monkey - my dh and I had separate doctors and it wasn't an issue. I saw my doc first on my own and she arranged for me to have the blood tests and swaps and told me to arrange for dh to have his SA at his own doctors but for copy of his results to be sent to my docs. Once the results of my tests and dh SA were in my doctor did the referral to the fertility specialist.

bigzippy

Code, I went with dh to our (joint) gp. My gp didn't do tests of their own though, the fs arranged those, so it was purely a "refer us on, please" conversation. Different places seem to do it differently. If I was you, I would keep him as involved as possible so you don't feel you're in it alone and he gets a true sense of every appointment/stage/test etc.

Tea lover, you CAN do this. You're stronger than you think and you've been wanting this (not this way, granted) shot for a long time. You'd kick yourself black and blue if you backed out now. You knew the hormones would kick your moods about, they're just (unfortunately) proving you right. Sending you a steaming mug of hot chocolate, with marshmallows in, to cheer you up

T2d I would reach out, but in the least forced way possible - at a mutually attended event perhaps?


I think I may have ovulated yesterday (cd11? 12?) I know it's early, but I've only been having short cycles. I've been taking the buscopan as prescribed, though if I did ov that early, I don't think I started it on an early enough day, but you can't win em all :cool: Hopefully it'll make all the difference, as we've dtd 3 days out of 4... Will carry on in a haphazard fashion, just in case I'm wrong though

squ1rrel5

Hi ladies, I've decided to make the move and come and join you over on this thread - it's been almost two years now and I'm just a bit fed up!

Some of you will know me from the other thread but here's my back story just in case...

Came off pill in May 2011 and for the next few months DH and I were NTNP while my body was getting back to normal. Started temping and ov sticks in around July '11 - I was getting positive opks but my temps werent reflecting that - by December'11 it was clear something wasnt right as my cycles were getting longer and longer (around 60-70 days) so I decided to go and get checked out at the docs in Jan '12.
Doc suspected PCOS so referred me to FS, who confirmed it - I didnt have a conclusive diagnosis until around June '12.
I was advised to take Metformin which would sort out my cycles and hopefully help me to ovulate but I wasnt really sure whether I wanted to do this or not as I've never been a fan of popping pills. Anyhow, my cycles seemed to sort themselves out a bit more - averaging around 32-34 days now and have stayed at this level for the last 9 months or so.
Sometime around August/September my DH went for an SA and found out that his sperm count was really low - he had improved on his 2nd test but but it was still below average so as it turns out we are both the problem! In a sense I was almost relieved that I didnt have to carry all the blame myself but also really sad as now I knew that we'd have double the difficulty.

At my last FS appt 6 weeks ago, I had a complete breakdown when he spelt out what it would all mean. He put it all quite bluntly - we are very unlikely to conceive naturally because of both our issues and we will need to consiver IVF (or likely ICSI).
However, I will not be considered for treatment on the NHS because my BMI is too high - at the time of that appt I was 37.6 on my BMI and I can't get treatment until I am below 30, unless of course I pay for it, but the FS told me that it was pointless to waste the money as its unlikely to work while I am overweight (he's a charmer!)

For a start there's no way that we can afford to pay for treatment - perhaps one course but if that didnt work we couldnt afford to carry on, so I'm on a mission to lose weight. I am hoping I can conceive naturally with some weight loss to prove my FS wrong!

I joined Slimming World 4 weeks ago and have lost 10lbs so far - I've got about another 3 stone to go to get to my target BMI - not a healthy BMI but low enough for treatment. I just dont know how long it's going to take - I know with PCOS the weightloss which will be quite slow.

I am 33 and my DH is 35 (36 in August) so I would like to be able to conceive - naturally or otherwise - within the next 2 years ideally although if I have to wait til I'm 40 then so be it.

Sorry for the long post - just wanted to give you my info just to see if any of you are in the same boat. I don't tend to post lots, although I do lurk constantly and always like to offer support to those ladies in need - and have occasional rants.

Am finding it particularly difficult at the moment as most of my friends seem to be PG and I'm incredibly jealous of every single one of them, to the point that I can't look most of them in the face. It's not always like this but I do have my moments. I just dont want to end up a bitter childless woman - if its not going to happen, I'd like to get to the point of acceptance but I'm not ready to be there just yet.

Peonie

Hi Squirrel,

Thanks for the back info - I don't follow the other thread. I know what you mean; everyone is pregnant at the moment. There are 4 pregnancies on my floor at work. I'm jealous of them too. But I am extremely happy for 2 of them; both had MCs last year.

I think you have done amazingly well to lose the weight you have already. I'm trying to get to a healthy BMI but through exercise and eating a bit healthier.

I'm going to phone the hospital tomorrow. My blood tests were took over a month ago and I have to wait another month at the appointment for the results. I have the day off and I may as well see if they will give the results over the phone or if an appointment is free.

TeamLowe

Hello over here to code and squirrel although I'm sorry to see you join us

Feeling fairly down today, even though we've stopped trying. Combination of thinking a lot about my loss and everyone saying soon as you stop you'll get pg so bizarrely feeling more pressure as I've not fell like a normal person would, if I don't fall after stopping trying like all the anecdotes say I should I'll feel more like a freak
Crazy lady today lol x

becca0417

Not at all TL. I think that sounds totally normal xx

Hi squ1rrel, sounds like you are doing a fab job so far xx

Runnerduck

hi tea lover, hang in there, it is very hard and you will feel crap, but you will feel worse if you give in, be kind to yourself, and come on here for a rant as theer are plenty of us that have been through it, hope you are feeling a bit better today xx


welcome to all newbies xx

tea_lover

Thanks ladies, feeling a bit (a little bit!) more rational today. Got a lot going on at the moment (family illness, work, etc) and with the added evil hormones it all got a bit much the other night.

Had another scan and blood test this morning and there's still not much progress. The right ovary isn't too bad but the left one doesn't seem to be doing much at all. It's certainly not where they'd like things to be for CD12. Will be increasing the menopur dose this evening and continuing with the cetrotide - hopefully that will kickstart something by the next scan on wednesday.

So brace yourself ladies - even more drugs probably means even more ranting!