The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

loulou123

Hi everyone, I've come over from the trying for a baby thread - hope nobody minds,if I'm on both??

Bit of background, me and DH are both 33, we have been ttc for approx 2 years now, with no success at all. I have mild pcos...

About 18 months ago I had an internal scan, which showed everything to be fine with my ovaries tubes etc, apart from mild pcos on one ovary (which I was told shouldn't cause too much of a problem ttc.) I also had 2 hormone blood tests (at different times in the month) which the results for were also fine.

I had these tests as I kept getting pains and weird fluttery feelings around one ovary, not because we were having trouble ttc (as at that point I didn't know we were!)

I'm still trying to persuade DH to go and have his sperm checked, but its been an uphill battle.

I'm presuming that since all the tests I had showed fine, that the next logical step is for him to get this done, as I'm guessing the 1st step for me would be a repeat of the same tests?

We have both finally accepted that we look likely to have a problem, but I'm not to sure where to go from here, any tips or advice very welcome.

time2deal

Hi Loulou,

I also look at both threads, and I think they serve a different purpose. The ladies on this thread understand a lot more the heartache of long term TTC, and also can help with medical stuff.

The reality is that you do need to get DH to do a SA. The doctors won't refer you without doing it, and it makes sense too - as it sounds like you are ok. In my case, both of us we 'ok', but the doctor said as we both had low fertility, the reality was that conceiving naturally was really unlikely.

I was ovulating each month, and the hormone tests were fine - just I guess the egg quality was low or something. I'm not fully sure what 'low fertility' means when you are ovulating. DH has 14m sperm count, which is a little low. If you can boost one, then it may overcome the others low fertility, but if you are both low, then something may need to be done.

So, I suppose I am saying that you need to know, as there are things you can do to change both parties fertility. Lots of people swear by making significant lifestyle changes, plus supplements etc - but if your DH is anything like mine, then that may not be an option!

Anyway, welcome to the thread! Sorry to see you, but the ladies here are all here to support you. I'm going to guess you know my story.. but I'll update on that soon too.

Primmer

Welcome loulou but sorry you find yourself here. Yes if you go to the gp they normally arrange blood tests to check you ovulate and ask oh to provide SA. Just because your tests have come back ok, it does not mean that your oh SA will show a problem and so he shouldn't worry. I have had the blood tests, scans and hsg to check tubes and dh has had SA checked and there are no problems with either of us. We have been ttc for over 3 years without success and fertility specialist refers to it us "unexplained fertility".

Having said the above, I agree that your oh needs to get an SA as I don't think they will refer you any further until this is done.

Good luck, this thread is very supportive and understanding and if you have any questions someone normally knows the answer or can help.

TTC40

Hi Loulou - sorry to see you here.

Why won't he go & be checked - is it just usual bloke avoidance stuff?

Are you at the same GP? We are & so went for a joint appt about TTC & the GP arranged the bloods & SA. If you are at the same GP, would he go for a joint appt?

As it's been some time since your tests, I would recommend you go to see your GP too & see if they will do any tests again. Things can change.

T2D, hope you have been OK back at work & you are sorting out next steps.

My FS didn't give a time of day for Clomid. I was an evening girl.

CD11 here so been for internal scan. Just one follicle which was 15mm. He also saw some fluid in/near (not sure which), the ovary without the follicle - he mentioned this but then didn't come back to talk about it so not sure what it could be. He did say it won't affect ovulation.

He has taken blood to check oestrogen levels & I have to text him tomorrow when he has the results. He will then tell me if I have to go & see him tomorrow or Thursday for trigger injection so we know exactly when I ov. He also gave me an injection which he said would strengthen the egg. Then it's operation BD!

time2deal

Speaking of improving fertility, would anyone like my copy of "getting pregnant faster", by Dr Marilyn Glenville.

It was recommended to me, and it just gives you lots of ideas of what you can do to boost your fertility.

lilymay1

Thanks to everyone for the clomid advice. I took it this morning at about 9am as that's when I remembered.

Welcome loulou. I sort of lurk on both threads although I did go through a stage of being exasperated with the other one so left for a while.

How are our 3rd cycle clomid ladies getting on? What CD's are you on...getting close to ov?

VK-2008

hi this is my first cycle on clomid i spoke with nurses today state i am fine to take it today so cd 3- 7 for me
we were told by nurse to take it prior to going to bed as that should lower side effect as i will be sleeping
has anyone had any side effects
i am hoping this is a start of a positive journey so many happy thoughts now getting a little apprehensive for thurs as i start injections and i get my practice kit to test myself over weekend before being set free
kinda exciting but strange

TTC40

Ov will be by the end of the week.

I have had some indigestion on Clomid and also seem to have gained around the middle. Lovely!

loulou123

Thank you all for the welcomes

The reason hubby won't go, is that he is convinced the problem is with him - as he took "bodybuilding" drugs for some years (without my knowledge at the time) which are known to cause infertility in some men, so he's feeling bad - I keep telling him not to and even if this is the case I'd rather know etc.

To be honest I suspect the problem may be him, as I'm ovalating regulary etc, or just us not being fertiley compatible, but its also possible my pcos has got worse over the last 18 months, whatever the outcome its "our" problem and I'd never blame him etc.

He's given up drinking, takes vitamins, wears loose pants etc, its just the docs he's reluctant with, he did have an appointment but "forgot" to go....hmmm.

Thanks again for the welcome xx

vseviour

Hi Loulou! Men are funny, but at least he's taking the right steps. Me and DH are both low fertility, but I am glad he had SA done so we know where we stand. My GP just gives me pots for hubby to take to hospital, could you get him to fill it if he didn't have to go in person?

VK 2008, I found first cycle of clomid made me really tender and had horrible cramps. But second cycle I didn't have any side affects (maybe weight gain disguised as xmas?). Both cycles were ovulatory.

TTC40, enjoy BDing! Fingers crossed for you.

AFM, I'm CD6, third round, just ordered some pregnacare conception vitamins following T2Ds useful page link, which shamed me into more action. Real life is interfering with ttc at the mo, hence short posts, exciting but busy. Work in small office and one girl has announced pregnancy, but hasn't upset me at all (she had a hard time ttc). I'm maturing :-) Hubby doing new SA tomorrow, fingers crossed from improvement (his weigh is getting ridiculous). Got progress report with FS on 23rd, so pushing for weigh loss for both of us, aim 10% body weight in 10 weeks!!

V x