The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

jujugaboo

Congratulations anmarj. x

Runnerduck

congratulations anmarj xxxx

nadine220

time2deal wrote: »

Lets hope.

Sorry to be so melodramatic, even having written it down is already helping. There are worse things, but I think the whole emotional journey of TTC has amplified all the emotions. I haven't really thought what cancer (wow... still so strange to write) means, more that it means the end of TTC.

Onwards we go. I'm a bright and optimistic person - so I have to believe it will work out, and that I'll make the right choices. Thank you all. It means really a lot.

Sorry if someone else has already replied but I'm an on/off lurker and am trying to catch up with posts and am only up to mid December.

T2D - please don't think it is the end of TTC. I had cervical cancer diagnosed 8 years ago (age 30) and had a radical tracholectomy (removal of cervix) at St Barts in London. At the time only 100 people in the world had had this operation but now I believe it is quite common. Thankfully I didn't have to have chemo and now only go back for yearly check ups but the consultants there have had plenty of pg women - yes it's more difficult (and unfortunately I'm not yet one of them) but it can be done.

For my story we have been trying for about 5 1/2 years now - I didn't know OH when I had my diagnosis/treatment. We have been through all the NHS tests but unable to do hycosy due to different 'geography'!! Too old for IVF on NHS now in our area (38) and too heavy for private (BMI 41 and needs to be under 35).

I'm coming back on this site for some motivation to keep at it and hopefully support when we do start IVF. I'm 40 next year and don't want my weight to have been the reason that we haven't been successful.

Primmer

Congrats anmarj

Nadine - thanks for sharing your story. Hope your weight loss goes well so you can try ivf.

BZ - sending hugs, hope your ok.

TTC40 - good luck with trigger shot and fingers crossed for well timed bding.

Hope all our graduates are doing ok. Hugs to all who need.

TeamLowe

ladies can I have some reassurance I'm doing the best thing?

bit of background- at my last app with the gynae in September tests showed that I was ovulating after upping ny dose of metformin so it was agreed that we'd try for six months and if not pregnant go back and have Clomid. appointment is 7 March.

my cycle has gone to whack again so I could bring forward my appointment with the gynae and see if they'll give me Clomid earlier. but right now I think it would be better for me to accept things as they are and work on losing weight until my scheduled appointment in March so I can be sure I'm giving myself the best chance possible. it's only 9 weeks away and I like to think that at 26 time is generally on my side. I've been trying for eighteen months, is two more really that much worse?

plus if I'm truly honest with myself, I remember being scared of miscarriage because of my weight last time and I was slightly lighter then. whilst I do not blame myself at all for my miscarriage that worry did taint the time that I was pregnant.

also, I can't help but think I got pregnant at x weight so if I get to that again it will happen naturally.

Primmer

TeamLowe - I do agree to waiting to march as it will give you date to work towards when focussing on your weight loss. That way when you start clomid you will be giving yourself best chance. It is not too long to wait but long enough to lose some weight. I am doing slimming world and it is really easy to follow.

mrshappy

Congratulations anmarj-your baby has the same birthday as me :T I will not start thing crazy thoughts such as "that's a good omen for my icsi this month"

Hope everyone is well, thanks goodness Christmas is over, it all gets a bit bonkers in our house as we have lots of birthdays in December, including my 40th :eek:

I've just found out I'm going to be an auntie again, I'm really happy for them, but feel really bad that they were anxious about telling me, and my mum has been on some crazy watch over me-I had just left my brothers house when mum was texting to as if I was okay, so he had obviously phoned her the minute I had left to tell her that he had told me. I don't know what they all thought I was going to do People I know and like becoming pregnant doesn't bother me at all, I know this is another wanted and loved baby (and he/she will have the most amazing auntie)-I get a bit cross when clients at work fall pregnant with no idea how or who the father is with baby number 3 or 4, and carry on drinking, smoking etc, when there are already child protection measures in place for the other children. That makes me mad actually, not just cross. Ooops,that turned into a bit of a rant, sorry.

Anyway afm, I have a pack of norethisterone waiting to be started on Wednesday and get this ICSI malarkey going. I don't think I have been more terrified of anything in my life

tea_lover

CD3 today. ICSI intro appt tomorrow - getting nervous now!

TeamLowe

fingers crossed tea lover, hope it goes smoothly and makes things seem very positive, like your pregnancy test after the treatment (see what i did there? gosh i'm clever)

mrshappy fingers crossed for you too, when i was being told about my niece my sister and parents came round with a massive piece of cake to soften the blow x x

time2deal

Thanks Nadine.

My head knows it not the end of TTC, but it is a big blow and hard to accept. This process is teaching me patience at least. I've just done hopefully the last 'telling people' job today - told my big boss that I have cancer, and would be out for a while. I cried, which I have managed to avoid for a while recently, I think due to the hormones.

I think perhaps coming back to work was a mistake. I hate it here now, and normally I love my job and the people I work with. I'm just clock watching and getting myself upset and worrying about what to say to people. And those that do know are walking on eggshells, which makes me feel worse.

Staying at home isn't much better though, and I am putting on so much weight. Sitting at home with temptations of toast and sweets won't help.I was BMI of 31, but I suspect it gone up easily to 33ish, so I need to keep control for the IVF.

sigh... I can't wait for the next step in this IVF process. I think I have been fighting off general depression since the cancer diagnosis, but these drugs have just tipped me over the edge. Just have to hold out a few more days - stims start on Thursday.