The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tea_lover

T2D - thinking of you. I have no idea what else to say. Big hugs, really hope you're ok xx.

bigzippy

T2d, you are, as ever, in my thoughts

Vesper, welcome to this thread, I'd forgotten how long you'd been trying. Have you never been to see the docs about it previously, or been fobbed off, or?

Cd12 for me, still "high" on cbfm (I do love that machine!) But expecting a "peak" in the next 2-3 days. I don't have the same rollercoaster of hope going on (yet) this cycle, which I'm hoping means I'll feel a little more sane! I'm not looking forward to AF at Christmas, at my parents/while travelling, though :cool: Will definitely have to pack my hot water bottles... Don't think any nieces or nephews will be there either, which I think will make Christmas (without any kids around) odd. :cool:

vesper

bigzippy wrote: »

Vesper, welcome to this thread, I'd forgotten how long you'd been trying. Have you never been to see the docs about it previously, or been fobbed off, or?

Hiya, thanks for the welcome.
No I've not been to the Drs before, I haven't been before as in July I was told I have severe depression and didn't think they would help me while it was on going. I still am depressed but have come to the realisation that that has nothing to do with ttc and is regarding a situation I am in, that hopefully will be over soon.
But thought they would just tell me that now is not the best time to ttc while I'm under this stress. And they probably will tell me that, but I've got to give it a go.

My OH has had a couple of SA in the past, I can't remember the exact stats, but know he has a lower sperm count than average. Rather greatful it was just that, as he was warned he would be infertile after having mumps as a child.

time2deal

Evening Ladies,

Runner - are you getting close to testing? Fingers crossed for you!

And welcome Vesper. I'm sad to see you waiting that long for the doctors - must be a long road to keep trying... hopefully they can help you. I think there are also steps to improve SA, but they take 3 months to have an effect.

It's a case of finding the right doctor though. I think it was MrsHappy (or TeamLowe maybe) who had a terrible experience recently. If that happens, you just have to try again and there are lots of nice ones out there.

TL - I saw you are having HR issues. What's up? Did you decide to stay part time? I am also fighting with HR! I was investigating my sick leave options, and I had been told in the past I had 6 months full pay + 6 months at 75% pay. But I called to check today, and they told me it was 20 days at full + 20 days at 75%! Which is quite a difference!! I called up twice, and they said I only get the full entitlement once I have been there for over 4.5 years. They were adamant.

As the 40 days will only really cover the first treatment, I was quite upset.... and was trying to work out a mix of holidays, and fertility leave (6 days apparently) and sick leave etc.

But - it didn't feel right, so I dug out my original employment contract and it was there in black and white that I had 6m+6m at 75%. So I scanned it in, and emailled HR - and they have admitted that actually I do have the full cover. So that's a relief. Just wish I didn't have to go through the stress first! You would think that they would be super careful when someone asks that question... it's normally because there will be something bad going on in the background. I work for a very large company.

Anyway, good result in the end, so I can not worry at least about income for the moment. I am the 'breadwinner' in our house, so we can't live without my income.

In other :money: news, I had actually reviewed all my insurances earlier in the year when I was applying for a mortgage, and it looks like I have 'critical illness insurance', who have verbally already stated it looks like they will pay out, assuming the diagnosis is confirmed. So, financially we are in a good place for at least the next year.

Yes, I am the kind of person who worries first about money! Very practical.

No other real news, other than I had a solid night drinking last night! I went to the GP today (who magic'ed up an appointment when you use the 'C' word), and she gave me more sleeping pills, more advice, and an NHS referral to a cancer clinic if I want a second opinion. I haven't really been sleeping since Friday. They were keen that I stay involved with them, and they can help with co-ordinating various doctors, and advice, and things like counselling etc. She also will see if they can get my IVF partially covered by NHS as it's linked to the cancer, not 'just' for fertility. So was helpful, and really friendly and wanted to help as much as possible.

So - I'm now putting a ban on 'sad eyes'!! I just want to get to see my family over Christmas, enjoy our holiday, and then we will get ready for a fight next year. It's actually an early CD1 today, so I have started back on the pill. Such a strange thing to suddenly go back onto!

Hope you all don't mind me hanging around! In a way we are still TTC - just on a much longer timescale now. DH has started looking into surrogacy, and learning as much as possible about the impacts of the various surgeries. The only thing he can't quite understand is that I'd rather avoid menopause if possible... I don't think men quite understand what that may mean.

fluffnutter

You keep hanging around, time2deal. You are so doing the right thing - the more you find out, the more you talk, the more you prepare yourself, the better. It's so scary to be where you are right now, but every thing you're doing is giving you a little bit more control.

We're with you every step of the way.

Primmer

Vesper - don't let the depression put you off getting ttc help, there should be no reason why you can't get help especially as blood tests and initial fs appointments all take a while to organise. I have suffered bad with depression in the past but it was not brought up by my gp when I was referred.

T2d - planning finances, seeing gp etc are all positive steps which give you back a bit of control at a time when everything can feel out if control. Such positive steps will really help you on your journey as will plans for immediate future such as holiday and seeing friends and family.

TTC40

T2D - We INSIST you hang around. You are still on your TTC journey so you should be here - you 'just' have a different hurdle at the moment. We'll do all that we can to push & pull you over than hurdle (providing you want us to).

I think I would be like you in terms of being sorted & organised with the practical stuff. My view is to deal with the things you can control. Hopefully by the time 12m is up you will be back at work & you won't need to think about pay running out.

CD10 here. Going for an internal scan tomorrow to see what the Clomid is doing. OH away so going alone - can't wait (not)!

BZ - the FS told us to be 'active' from days 12 - 14 whilst on Clomid regardless of what OPKs said - so I hope you are!

Vesper - welcome! You have waited long enough for tests.

time2deal

Oh - forgot to say, there was a bit of a comedy/surreal moment last night. I was trying to explain to my gay best friend (all girls need one) what was going on. So after a few tears, I am there in the pub using two pints to represent ovaries, a small t-pot for the womb, and a folded up bit of paper for the cervix. Trying to explain what each one does, and what the choices are! It was very strange.

Plus a wider conversation with GBF constantly saying... so 'the button' is there? or there? and where is a G spot - is that the same place? Do you have two different types of orgasms?!?! It was part biology lesson... part comedy counselling.

The boy has a stunningly limited understanding of girls 'bits'.

Runnerduck

T2D, glad your finances are in order, at least it may take some of the worry away, i dont blame you for having a boozy session, i'm sure anyone else would too, hopefully you will be in goods hands with your private hospital and will get the best treatment possible xx

so far i am staying well away from the pee sticks, i have none at home and the nearest chemist is 14 miles away and i have stopped myself getting in the car.......

onestep

T2D - you're in my prayers, if that's ok? Good luck with the IVF, & the subsequent treatment.

Welcome vesper. You've definitely waited long enough for investigations, don't be fobbed off. Good luck!

AFM.. Just restarted treatment for a basal cell carcinoma (not malignant & no big deal compared to what T2D is going through). So no TTC for us this month. Which is just typical as I've got loads of ewcm & DH is actually home this month! We've just taken a rescue dog on too.. Who is just lovely, altho some teething issues with our existing dog. It's all go!