The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

sexki11en

Sorry you're feeling so down Lisa. None of us can even begin to imagine how weary you must feel after 12 years. I've always said if we had the money, i'd keep going, treatment after treatment, but deep down, I know there's an end in there somewhere (and we don't have the money anyway)

I really hope Lisa that whatever happens, you too can be at peace with whatever decision you make.

SK x

time2deal

Hi, I think I have good news for once. ReTest of dh sperm had come back with 14m per mil. 40 mil total . Still low, and low motility, but much better than last time (800k and unable to test motility). looks like nhs did mess up the first test. I'll put details up later for you top tell me if its actually good!

Now for fs app appointment.

TeamLowe

that's great news T2D, did you say you was making changes to DH's diet etc? hopefully it'll just keep going up and up, or very soon you won't care cos one has done it's job

Lisa massive love for you, i can't imagine how tough it must be for you and i think you're really brave for all you've been through already, let alone carrying on

LilyMay big hugs for fustrating NHS waiting times. I've still not got DH's SA so i'll have to ring and chase for that, but i also want my appointment moved forward for the no Ovulation but now i've got EWCM i don't know what to do! tbh the SA is just for reassurance so we're a bit relaxed about it but i do want to know! lol x x

bigzippy

VK - you've "done well" there. In my hospital's area they only offer 1 IVF cycle (then any FETs), but with my house's postcode she thinks I would get 2. No mention of IUI whatsoever

lisawood78 wrote: »

I'm 34, hubby is 37. Which seems quite young for all this I know but we have been trying for so long.
We can't adopt, too many marks against us (nothing bad or illegal or anything like that!!) Just lots of silly red tape that prevents us.
I'm simply at a loss.
Thanks ladies x

I'm 30, and haven't been through what you have, and still have moments where it feels like it's been forever (I know it hasn't). You have my empathy.

Are any of the boundaries you have with UK adoption not there with overseas adoption? Are the same boundaries there for private or council/different areas adoptions?

lilymay1 wrote: »

BZ - Find some PMA and keep hold of it! You are doing great and there is no reason what so ever why this can't be 'the one' (or 3 as it is going to be ) for you!

Re the hospitals lilymay, I've been there, not just with IF related stuff, but all my health conditions. It just serves to make a bad and frustrating situation worse

So, yeah, AFM, feeling very deflated, angry, upset, frustrated, resentful and general a bit peed off with the world right now. How do you get past the "why me" phase?

Needing some love ladies!

tea_lover wrote:

Am very much stuck in the "why me" phase at the moment so can't help with that one, other than to send another big hug. Feel very sorry for myself atm. Work is soooooo bad and I only stuck it out here so I could have mat. leave. Now I have a job I hate, a massive commute, a complete cowbag of a boss and still no fecking baby. Grr!

I do the "why me" phase interspersed with "why not me?" too. Just to mix it up a bit :cool:

tea_lover wrote: »

But on the plus side, if I'm the person getting the side effects, that means it's definitely going to be working for at least one of you lovely ladies. I'm sure that's how the statistics works, right?!

:rotfl: This made me

T2D - yay!! :j

sxkitten :wave:

I'm off to attempt pastry from scratch, wish me luck

time2deal

Right, fs said with low amh and borderline sperm she recommends were go straight to stimulated ivf. After the smear test is cleared of course. Hopefully that would mean a start in January. I'm sort of pleased - 2 months from now to starting, its at least a goal and give time for various other things to start to impact.

Since ivf is now a reality, maybe that will give me kick to lose weight! I can't believe I am this OK with this news. Although give it time... depression is a nighttime activity..

time2deal

And pasty is remarkably easy! Keep things cold, and don't over mix it are my tips.

bigzippy

time2deal wrote: »

Right, fs said with low amh and borderline sperm she recommends were go straight to stimulated ivf. After the smear test is cleared of course. Hopefully that would mean a start in January. I'm sort of pleased - 2 months from now to starting, its at least a goal and give time for various other things to start to impact.

Since ivf is now a reality, maybe that will give me kick to lose weight! I can't believe I am this OK with this news. Although give it time... depression is a nighttime activity..

Yay for a plan, T2D and one that kicks in relatively soon. Hopefully that's the overriding thought. I know completely what you mean about depression being a nighttime activity though! How's your OH about it?

Are you private or NHS?

bigzippy

time2deal wrote: »

And pasty is remarkably easy! Keep things cold, and don't over mix it are my tips.

I have made it before, but ages ago. And I'm making it for a pie for tea tonight, with 2 friends coming over, that I haven't made before... no pressure

Now stop distracting me, I need to go do it

time2deal

bigzippy wrote: »

Yay for a plan, T2D and one that kicks in relatively soon. Hopefully that's the overriding thought. I know completely what you mean about depression being a nighttime activity though! How's your OH about it?

Are you private or NHS?

Private. Too fat for nhs! Thankfully we can afford it, but not indefinately. Pity we just bought a house! but I kept aside some ttc money for this reason.

Dh is ok with it all. Good sa is a mixed blessing as not sure he'll follow up now on lifestyle stuff. But showing a healthy interest in the process, which is nice as it makes it feel more of a team effort. I'm still doing acupuncture and taking soy this month. Would be nice if we magically sort things out ourselves.

Go make dinner, and good luck.

chickpea

Aw - I wish I could hug you, Lisa and Onestep!

I'm in the same place - the need to give up is nearly as strong as the need to keep going. Maybe it does come down to wanting what you have, rather than having what you want?

I'm getting counselling now - can't do any harm, might make my infertile life easier to digest.

+++++++

I went to a family funeral last week. My cousin, who has just had number 4, asked me when I'd be having my next. I said 'I don't know, when will you be having your last?'

Virtual Shiraz all round. Tanqueray if you don't like wine.