The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Bunnie1982

Was at Ripleys Believe It or Not in Blackpool today and they have got fertility statues, so I stood for a while stroking one!!

Soo many BFP's!! Congratulations ladies!

liloandstitch

Bunnie1982 wrote: »

Was at Ripleys Believe It or Not in Blackpool today and they have got fertility statues, so I stood for a while stroking one!!

Soo many BFP's!! Congratulations ladies!

LOL:rotfl:

kizmet106

Bunnie1982 wrote: »

Was at Ripleys Believe It or Not in Blackpool today and they have got fertility statues, so I stood for a while stroking one!!

Soo many BFP's!! Congratulations ladies!

After two years of trying for my daughter I decided to go on a girly weekend to Blackpool and stroked that exact statue.... my little girl was born 9 months later!!! :j

We have now been trying for baby number two for 19 months with no luck - thinks its about time for another visit to Blackpool!! :rotfl:

JoJo77

Bunnie, I'm about to start my 5th round of clomid and I can say that the side effects at the beginning were quite bad, but now all that I get is quite hungry at the end of my cycle which compared to the hot flushes, dizziness and tears is pretty good, so stick with it.

Af started this morning bang on time. I just knew this month hadn't worked but as always was secretly hoping that I was wrong. Am currently feeling so sad and depressed as usual. If they could find something wrong at least I would have something to focus on. We eat ultra healthily, take all the supplements, use the clearblue fertility monitor so bd at the right times. I just don't know what else to do. I'm starting to feel that I'm being punished for something. I know I'll feel better in a couple of days but every month for the last 4 years has been a bfn and I'm not sure how many more I can handle but I don't know how to give up trying.

Sorry to be a misery when everyone else on here seems to be celebrating bfps but sometimes it just all feels too much to cope with.

MadMac_2

Oh JoJo, we all have times like that hun, please don't worry about feeling like that.

I know only too well how hard it is when everybody else around me seems to have no trouble at all, and some really act like they don't even want to be mothers - when I all want is just one little soul to love and care for. Why does that always feel like too much to ask? So you really, really aren't alone in thinking along those lines and although I weep with joy when I hear of yet another BFP there is also a bit of me screaming inside why not me!

But I know deep down I'm lucky to have a man that loves me, have a roof over my head and other things to occupy my time now - and we are now even more open to the idea of adoption as we see my sister currently going through the process. You just never know what is around the next corner, so never give up hope and try to accept the bad days are just one of those things along with the good.

You'll always have friends on here that understand you, hope your day brightens soon. xxx

becs

Ah the voice of reason once again MadMac.

JoJo as MadMac says we all go through those feelings so don't feel you're alone. I guess we all have to find our own way of dealing with this every month and sometimes it's easier than others. One way I've found that helps me now (which sounds totally barmy because it sounds like you're setrting yourself up for a fall) is to think about the next month when AF arrives and think about due dates etc and think why it's meant to be that month and not the month before! See I told you it was absoloutely barmy but it seems to work for me. January I said it was because it would be conceived around Dh and my b'days, Feb it was because it was meant to be a valentines conception, March would have meant we could have told the parents on father's day and so on! No rhyme or reason for this working for me I just find it helps me pick myself up and move on positively to the next month. I do hope you find a way to help you cope too, it's so important for your own sanity if nothing else.
Good Luck.:grouphug:

JoJo77

Thanks Madmac and Becs. I am lucky too that I have a gorgous husband, a fabulous business and a loving family but I guess I often don't appreciate it becaues of the one thing I want that seems to be so elusive. I certainly need to find my pma which I reckon I lost a couple of years ago when my lil sis got her bfp. Since then I haven't believed it's going to happen for us and my nephew is 14 months now so she'll soon be telling me she's pregnant again. Becs, maybe I'll try the calendar thing and it might make me feel more positive. Thanks for the support - it's really appreciated and much needed at the mo.

dizziblonde

Jojo I know the feeling you're being punished - right now I feel like I lied to all those kids I've taught about the way to get success in life being to stick in at school, go to uni, get a career - when in reality you seem to be rewarded if you get kicked out of school, doss about a lot, dramatically overdose everytime the net seems to be closing in around you getting a job and then finally decide a baby's a good way to be able to stay on benefits for a few more years... whereas I got rewarded with 3 years in an abusive relationship, a job that resulted in me having a nervous breakdown and ending up a mental wreck before my 30th birthday and a wonky cat (wouldn't change the wonky cat part for the world though). Keep thinking every month that sooner or later life has to deal us a good hand rather than the anger and pain I feel right now - but no cigar.

Now back on the exercise kick with utter anger fuelling it and self-loathing... up at 8.30 to swim before the happy parent and child all weekend swim time kicked in - what's on the radio at the pool to rub it in? "I believe that children are our future..." couldn't make it up. Meant to be making wedding invites for our wedding and I've got no enthusiasm for any of it at all at the moment - the whole thing is becoming my mother's wishes and whims and I'm just secondary to it.

liloandstitch

Extremely long arms needed for the huge hugs required this morning. I really feel for you all at the moment, and I understand what you mean dizziblonde. You play by the rules and get sh*t on, and people who cheat and manipulate get everything you want - as my DS would say "its no fair". I usually feel like this, but at the mo am quite chilled, probably because I cant get pg at the moment, am on hold til September. And luckily all the pg women in family and friends have had their babies, and I am not staring it in the face at the mo.

Dizzi, have you thought about counselling - just to help you with all you have been through, it seems an awful lot to have been dealing with. And I always get the cats too, but I love them as well and wouldnt change it!!!

Have a good rest of day, and get those invites done - you know you want to . Why not elope and tell your mum after? (only a joke but it sounds like you'd like to!!!)

Lilo

dizziblonde

Meh I tried counselling in the past - after a couple of sessions she turned to me and said that I pretty much had it all figured out, knew why things were the way they were and there wasn't much she could do since I'd got that all straight in my head.

The only thing I am doing, and that is going to cause ructions, is a complete ban on kids at my wedding - I don't want the scrounger cousin coming trying to play martyr mother of the year and if there are no kids there it minimizes the "oh so when are you two going to... blah blah blah" dealie. I'm expecting a fight on this one but if my cousin shows up, baby Giro in hand (sounds brutal but that is why she's having this kid) - I'm kicking her out and damn the consequences.

The invitations look wonderful and elegant - but again, style partially dictated by my mother - not what I would have picked... just easier to go along with my mother because she can be very vicious to me if provoked (she's fab as a surrogate mum to everyone else - just hates her own daughter for some reason).