The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

QQuaver

tea_lover wrote: »

Can anyone pls reassure me that clomid is not going to turn me into an axe-murderer! Am really nervous about it. Tbh I've always had some anger management issues (not something I'm proud of) and I know that my hormones don't help at certain points in my cycle. After screaming and shouting at OH yet again last week I'm now even more worried about whether clomid is even a good idea. Am scared of what I might do!

I know some get hormonal, but it's such a low dose, it probably won't affect you:)

I've done 50mg and 100mg, and had no side effects provided I took it just before bed, and after reasonable evening meal.

I took it twice at night, but after skipping dinner, and I got dizzy:p Never hormonal.
I grew up with 2 sisters, so I know what hormonal looks like:D
I've never been a hormonal type to begin with though:cool:

TTC40

QQuaver wrote: »

Things were looking pretty grim after the egg collection, so he was not surprised. He wanted me to do another egg collection straight away though:shocked:

Tbh, I'm kinda getting tired of this. Maybe it might be time to let nature take its course? I've had 5 egg collections and 2 egg transfers in a little over a year. Maybe it's trying to say something:o

Primmer & Evertheoptimist, good luck with down regging:wave:

It's something for you to consider - but as you have shared with us, leaving it to nature is unlikely (though not impossible) to be successful - not least because you need to be in the same country in order to BD!

I share your thoughts about this though (& that's without going through IVF type treatment).

I have never wanted a family & influenced OH into this too. Then I turn 40 & change my mind (damn biological clock). Life is good - we are happy & fulfilled - so is it really so important to us to have a baby? I appreciate to some that it's all they have ever wanted & therefore they have a different outlook.

I suppose it's like some girls dream of a big white wedding day from being a child - that was never for me either!

For us, it's a few months of seeing what nature decides. If I'm not pg, then we can try fertility drugs (although not sure of the benefit if tests show that I ovulate). I really don't think we will be going down an IVF route though.

I have just been chatting to a pg colleague who is 10 years younger than me & she was saying how shattered she is - maybe I shouldn't get pg after all!

BZ - hope you got some positive news at your FS.

Juju - Happy Birthday!

Nicki

tea_lover wrote: »

Can anyone pls reassure me that clomid is not going to turn me into an axe-murderer! Am really nervous about it. Tbh I've always had some anger management issues (not something I'm proud of) and I know that my hormones don't help at certain points in my cycle. After screaming and shouting at OH yet again last week I'm now even more worried about whether clomid is even a good idea. Am scared of what I might do!

It was a long time ago now for me, but clomid did exaggerate my natural hormonal tendencies. With me it made me more weepy and anxious.

I guess though, that you already know that you have issues at certain times of the month, so you and OH could be prepared for these to be worse while you are taking it? So, you could pre-arrange some extra relaxation or some space for the crucial days if that is what you need, and could agree in advance that if you do get snappy and unreasonable that your OH can just walk away and go out for a pint until you calm down again? If it doesn't affect you at all, then all to the good, but at least you have an emergency plan in the worst case scenario?

I certainly wouldn't not take it, based solely on that one concern, even if you are usually really really unreasonable at certain times of the month

Am really relating to the age discussion earlier. DH is 44 tomorrow and I will be 44 in a few months time. I know we are very fortunate in that we have children already even though it was a struggle to get there, but we are seriously considering hanging up our boots now based on our age and the extra difficulties this causes in conception on top of our other problems, even though we would obviously much prefer that our last pregnancy ever hadn't ended in a loss.

Metranil_Vavin

Q I'm really sorry that you are feeling like this, but I can also understand that you have been through so much, it can probably all seem a bit crazy at times.

Maybe your hubby would come around to the idea of adoption, like he did with fertility treatments?

onestep

Happy birthday Juju!! Hope you've had chance to enjoy the weather..

Cd1 for me. No change there then No treatment in the offing; we've decided that IVF isn't for us. So there we are. 1 m/c, 1 DD, 2 m/c, 1 failed IUI. Over 10 years. Not a lot really..

If you girls fancy a nose at the holiday cottage we've just finished, head over to FB, and search for Thalassa Holiday cottage. I've put some photos up. Now all we need are some bookings and I won't have time to worry which cd I'm on, and whether DH is in the same county!!

hugs xx

bigzippy

QQuaver wrote: »

Neither of us really wanted a child, we both married late.
It changed when I had a mc. (Hormones are to blame:o)
I desperately wanted a baby that I lost, but since I couldn't, I pushed for fertility treatments and IVFs when DH was not keen.

Now for some unknown reason, he decides he wants a baby too.
Now I know what DH felt like:o
Could be that. I'm 10DPO, I usually get depressed around now:p

Sounds like this time away from treatment could be just what you both need to get back onto the same page - whichever way that looks...? I guess if you're itching to get back to a clinic, or he loses interest in it, during that time, you'll have your answer?
I'm with tealover though, it does sound like you need a hug

tea_lover wrote: »

BZ - hope it goes ok at your appt this afternoon. Thinking of you and your OH, it's been a sh*tty year so far so fingers crossed this is the start of a better end to the year x.

Thanks, it has been... and I really hope it ends better too.

I told my SIL the other day about DH having started riding to work and back on his bike recently (13miles each way!) and she was congratulating him and saying "just think, it was only 2 years ago he was struggling to quit smoking" - and when I thought of it that way, we've come sooooo far, both of us, in that 2 years that it's quite incredible really. From losing almost 8st between us, having a far healthier lifestyle, no smoking, no real drinking to speak of, he's taken up running and cycling etc... I know that we've had some heartache, not least including MIL and TTC, but we've managed to come so far in spite of them...

I know it's been almost 2yrs, but I'm hoping when we look back in another 2yrs that it'll feel like another lifetime ago and the hurt of infertility will be all but gone - however that comes about.

Of course DH just sees the "but it's been almost 2 years " bit atm, so we can't be on the same page all the time

Can anyone pls reassure me that clomid is not going to turn me into an axe-murderer! Am really nervous about it.

Have you thought about booking an appointment with your doctor to ask him? Or asking a pharmacist? You only take it for 5? days, so I'm guessing the affects would be quite short lived if you were to have them? And maybe the 5 days are some of your more tranquil ones of the cycle, so they wouldn't have much moodiness to exacerbate?? I can't tell you from personal experience though I'm afraid, but I say try it and see, or go ask a professional for reassurance... And then maybe book in for some kickboxing lessons just incase

jujugaboo wrote: »

We have considered adoption and think it might be the best solution for us.

Good luck whenever you end up testing juju - I have my virtual fingers crossed for you

Best solution if this cycle doesn't work out? Or best solution in the future if you get to the point where you've had enough of treatment/run out of money?

I can never ever imagine myself not ever having children, I have always wanted them just didn't realise it would be this hard.

Me too. Although, I did always (don't ask me why, maybe I'm just morbid!) wonder if I'd struggle to get pregnant. When I was a kid and people used to ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up, my answer was invariably "a Mummy"... that's how long I've known I've wanted my own.

onestep wrote:

Cd1 for me. No change there then No treatment in the offing; we've decided that IVF isn't for us. So there we are. 1 m/c, 1 DD, 2 m/c, 1 failed IUI. Over 10 years. Not a lot really..

Is there anything else you'll be trying/considering? How did you conceive your daughter, and how old is she now?


AFM: Thanks for all the good wishes, ladies. Appointment went pretty well really. Both the FS (in probably her late 40s, British - which, btw, I only comment on cos all the other 3 docs there have not been, and have been hard to understand!) and her nurse (30s? British) were really nice, clear, to the point, happy to answer questions, and congratulated me on my weightloss She doesn't want to do a laparoscopy - for the moment at least. She did prescribe me Norithesterone (sp?) though, so that we could at least try to control the bleeding to get this HSG done! The nurse is going to liaise with the radiology department to try and get the HSG booked in with the least faff possible. She seemed rather dismayed at how long this had all been going on and all the messing about. She'll ring me when she's spoken to them, and I'm to ring her if I have any issues. I've got 3 cycles worth of Norith...whateverit'scalled just in case. I have to take it from CD5 for 3 weeks, stop, have a withdrawal bleed (which I pray won't last forever) and then restart on CD5 etc. Only til I've had the HSG though. And we're not allowed to TTC while I'm taking it...but tbh, it's that long since we've DTD (almost 3 months now I think! :eek:) that it'll just be nice to not be bleeding and be able to get near DH! When the HSG's done, I go back to see FS, she'll do an ultrasound to check other things - which she assures me looks for the worst types of endometriosis (which does reassure me somewhat, cos I am paranoid about it) -and if both the scan and HSG show no issues (other than the previously diagnosed PCOS) then I can have my chlomiphene :j I asked the nurse how long til I'd see her again, after the HSG and she said that I should book in for it for as soon after the date of the HSG as possible - that they'd squeeze me in

Now I/we have a plan I feel much better about it all. As is often the way, I spose

She said I have to continue working towards <30 BMI, which is fine, cos I am, and that they'd potentially look at doing a laparoscopy at that stage, depending on what issues I was still having then. I'm so happy that they'll give me clomid though, cos I was a smidge concerned that I couldn't remember if it was under 35 or under 30 they wanted me to be

Nurse was really really impressed though, couldn't stop mentioning it (outside the FS office) and asking how I'd/we'd done it etc Bit of an ego boost

And then I went shoe shopping

ETA: phew! Didn't mean to post an essay! Sorry guys! :o

Primmer

BZ - glad your fs appointment was positive, it is good to get a plan of action. Really pleased that they were impressed with your weight loss, both you and your DH have done so well it is good to get it recognised. Yay for shoe shopping too!

bigzippy

Thanks primmer she was saying we've lost the weight of a small person between us

And shock of all shocks, I finally have an appointment for my hsg now! 14th august... Should be the last day or day after this course of norithwotsit's finished, so should be AF free...! Might have to take it an extra day, but then won't have to take it again. And the nurse gave me the number to call her to arrange my scan and appointment for soon after...

:j

tea_lover

BZ - sounds like the appt went really well, that's brilliant. You should both be really proud of yourselves for the changes you made so far. You must both be so much more physically 'baby-ready' (iyswim) than 2 years ago. Great news about the HSG appt too, hope it all goes ok.
Nicky - thanks for the clomid tips, especially the one about OH going for a pint! Think we may well be using that one lol.
QQ - FS kept stressing that the metformin and the clomid need to be taken after a meal so I'll no doubt interpret that as an excuse to eat more - don't want to get dizzy!

jujugaboo

Morning ladies

I have very slight crampy feelings today and just went to the loo and saw a small dark brown spot of blood, I have never experienced this before and hoping its a good sign and not AF coming. I am currently d7p3dt. Surley the implantation would have happened by now so not sure it would be that. Anybody got any views on this?