The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

onestep

CD 1 for me never been so excited to see it arrive!! Altho now the nerves are kicking in.. & the little voices telling me the odds aren't good. ANYWAY I have an appt at the clinic on Thursday for my baseline scan & to pick up the meds etc. I can't quite believe we're really going to try it I've got acupuncture & time off work all booked. And I'm going to sit still and think positive thoughts every hour on the hour. Life is really busy at the moment, we're trying to get a holiday let cottage ready for the season, & it's being completely renovated, new kitchen, bathroom, windows, everything. And it somehow seems like new beginnings all round. I'm going to put my fingers in my ears and sing 'la la la' over the little voices

nottslass_2

Winky,_The_House_Elf wrote: »

Chickpea, your post has struck a very deep chord with me

We have an appointment tomorrow to see the IVF consultant about FET. My little IVF miracle is now 14 months old, and I'm finding it hard to avoid all the bumps and babies too.

I am eternally grateful to have her, and feel that I don't deserve to get upset, when I know that others would give up body parts to be in this position. Unfortunately its not as straight forward as counting your blessings. I am shocked at the stregnth of the emotions that are hitting me, and its good to know others feel this way too, that I'm not a selfish freak!

First appointment tomorrow, so we'll see what that brings.

Winky xxx

I too realised how blessed I was to have DS 1 & 2,but the pain of being unable to conceive DC3 left such a big hole in our lives.
I almost felt embarresed and selfish when we embarked on IVf,but thankfully it worked and DS3, who will be 2 on sunday has brought so much joy to our lives:)

jujugaboo

I had my first scan today after 7 days of stimming and I have 6 between 9 and 11 and 9 under that. This is quite low for day 7 but I know i am a slow burner and always have been. EC was going to be Tuesday but they think it will be Weds or Thurs now. I am hoping for Thursday. Started steroids yesterday so hoping there are no side effects as there seems to be a long list with them. Trying to remain positive but after 3 failed attempts its kinda hard.

lisawood78

I was on steroids for my last 3 tries and had nothing amazing in the way of side effects.

I got PG (albeit ectopic) on my 7th try so although it is very hard to keep going, things can change.
LW78 x

Nicki

nottslass wrote: »

I too realised how blessed I was to have DS 1 & 2,but the pain of being unable to conceive DC3 left such a big hole in our lives.
I almost felt embarresed and selfish when we embarked on IVf,but thankfully it worked and DS3, who will be 2 on sunday has brought so much joy to our lives:)

I remember us having this conversation when we were both regulars on this board before we finally conceived again. I think it arose because I was embarrassed to be posting because I already had children, and it then turned out that most of us who were regulars at that time also did!

I had primary and secondary infertility bizarrely, in that I struggled for a very long time to conceive my first, had no problems with my second, and then struggled again for a long time to conceive my third. I think chickpea hit the nail on the head. Nothing is worse than primary infertility, but secondary runs it a very very close second.

countrybum

I'm sorry if this is a really insensitive/stupid question, but what is primary and secondary infertility?

FBaby

Runnerduck wrote: »

i agree chickpea, and what i find very hard is that i know what my hubby is missing by not having his own baby, it breaks my heart that he may not get to experience fatherhood, and i will try everything possible so that he gets that chance xx

That was my position, secondary for me, but primary for my partner. I think it is yet another feeling not to be able to make your partner a father (rather the issue is with you, them or both, ironically, in our case, we don't actually really know!).

The only 'blessing', in my case, is that i don't think my partner ever really got what he is missing. He did want a child, but the idea also scared him, so having gone through the initial disappointment, he has copped well. I think he would have been one of those parents who are hit by the wave of love and parental protectiveness that comes once the baby is in your arms and it is then you realise what it really means. The fact that he is ok with the situation means that I don't feel as guilty and angry with myself and that has helped me moved on too, focussing on my secondary infertility rather than his primary and being grateful for having already two wonderful children.

I do understand what you say though runnerduck, at times, I was completely heartbroken at the thought of my partner not being a dad when he would make such an amazing one, and I still at time feel upset with the unfairness. One recent thought that has helped me was to realise that although my children, understandly, make the difference between their own dad and my partner (despite their closeness), their own children won't. My kids consider my mum and my step-mum (dad's wife) on the same level, so even though they won't be biologically related, they will call him treat him just like a grandad... a bit scary to think that far ahead, but a little comforting thoughts now that we have decided that our road to parenthood was over.

Nicki

countrybum wrote: »

I'm sorry if this is a really insensitive/stupid question, but what is primary and secondary infertility?

Not stupid at all if you don't know the answer! Primary infertility is when you struggle to conceive at all. Secondary infertility is when you have conceived within normal parameters previously (ie within a normal time frame and without assistance), but then are unable to conceive subsequently.

sillysausage1977

Hi All,

Day 3 past transfer, am I supposed to be feeling any cramping yet? Got sore boobies but that could be down to the drugs/possible AF (God forbid!!)

Im back at work today which is good in one way cos it will make the days go quicker!!

Good luck Onestep, that big box of drugs was very daughting the first time I saw it, but it all made sense as the treatment went on

Jujugaboo - Good luck with your EC, hopefully they will get some good ones x

jujugaboo

Sausage, I have had cramping and no cramping both times so don't think it matters. I get really sore boobs but I would put that down to the drugs. Well done for being back at work already, I think I am going to have a week off. Fingers crossed.

It's hard one to choose is primary worse then secondary? I'm primary but then in a way I don't know what I am missing out on like with secondary you do but then you are blessed by having a child. Hard one to call, I think it's hard either way and we all have to deal with that in our own way. X