The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

jiblets1

Good luck ss - I hope you're keeping yourself busy for the dreaded 2ww!

fluffnutter

I think the bottom line is this: if you want to be pregnant and it's not happening, it breaks your heart. We're not in competition with each other, and anyone who's experienced this, whether it's their first, second or 14th try at having a baby should be able to understand how difficult it is. You shouldn't get extra sympathy for having a harder time than anyone else; everyone's experience is different, it's only the pain that feels the same - we should support each other.

chickpea

Hi FN - Call me hard-nosed and unsympathetic, but I'd actually have *no* sympathy for someone trying for number 14 I'm afraid!!!

And none for someone who's been trying all of a month either!!!

chickpea

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think the bottom line is this: if you want to be pregnant and it's not happening, it breaks your heart. We're not in competition with each other, and anyone who's experienced this, whether it's their first, second or 14th try at having a baby should be able to understand how difficult it is. You shouldn't get extra sympathy for having a harder time than anyone else; everyone's experience is different, it's only the pain that feels the same - we should support each other.

Hi FN - just twigged that I wrote one part of what I said wrongly! What I meant to say- as someone who has experienced secondary and primary infertility - is that the *second* hardest thing after primary infertility is secondary infertility - at least in my experience - but I wrote the opposite! My point was sort of like yours in that it's not a competition, I agree!

fluffnutter

chickpea wrote: »

Hi FN - just twigged that I wrote one part of what I said wrongly! What I meant to say- as someone who has experienced secondary and primary infertility - is that the *second* hardest thing after primary infertility is secondary infertility - at least in my experience - but I wrote the opposite! My point was sort of like yours in that it's not a competition, I agree!

Aah, that's not what you said! Not that it matters. We're all in agreement

chickpea

fluffnutter wrote: »

Aah, that's not what you said! Not that it matters. We're all in agreement

Yes we are!!

I was horrified when I saw what I'd originally written - firstly, because it's not what I think and secondly because I would never want to belittle anyone's infertility problems or to imply there's a secondary v. primary competition!!

Runnerduck

i agree chickpea, and what i find very hard is that i know what my hubby is missing by not having his own baby, it breaks my heart that he may not get to experience fatherhood, and i will try everything possible so that he gets that chance xx

Winky,_The_House_Elf

Chickpea, your post has struck a very deep chord with me

We have an appointment tomorrow to see the IVF consultant about FET. My little IVF miracle is now 14 months old, and I'm finding it hard to avoid all the bumps and babies too.

I am eternally grateful to have her, and feel that I don't deserve to get upset, when I know that others would give up body parts to be in this position. Unfortunately its not as straight forward as counting your blessings. I am shocked at the stregnth of the emotions that are hitting me, and its good to know others feel this way too, that I'm not a selfish freak!

First appointment tomorrow, so we'll see what that brings.

Winky xxx

fluffnutter

Just heard that there's an article on the cost of IVF today on Women's Hour on R4 (it's on right now but not sure what time the actual IVF article will be). The fertility expert Robert Winston thinks couples are being exploited. Might be worth a listen.

jujugaboo

fluffnutter wrote: »

Just heard that there's an article on the cost of IVF today on Women's Hour on R4 (it's on right now but not sure what time the actual IVF article will be). The fertility expert Robert Winston thinks couples are being exploited. Might be worth a listen.

Thanks, should be on before 11am, am listening now but nothing as yet.