The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

QQuaver

staffiecat wrote: »

Sorry to hear that QQ, may not need it but sending you dodgy hugs :grouphug:

Thanks, CD1 today...:(

sarahs999 wrote: »

The other thought is surrogacy. I already know someone who wants to be a surrogate (she's young, had three kids and loves the idea of it).

Never thought of that, interesting idea, but I don't think we'll go down that road. Sounds mega expensive:o

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster

Sorry QQuaver

Runnerduck

sorry QQuaver, sending hugs

staffiecat

Just spoke to hubby, valentines day is back on :dance:
Don't know why I am so excited, what a kid !
Now I have to think about what to do......

Chocolate_Cookie_Monster wrote: »

We are going away tomorrow for early Valentines. A night away and it coincides with oving (I think, I can never tell with my cycles anymore). But I think as soon as I get to the hotel I will zonk out. OH has his eye on watching the rugby tomorrow afternoon - uh don't think so mister!!! Will be very romantic - me napping and OH in the pub watching sport...

Night away sounds lovely, relax and get bd'ing :j:j

sarahs999 wrote: »

I think we would adopt too, but I'm desperate for a baby rather than an older child. I just have a horror of taking on a child who's been abused or otherwise neglected (as most of the ones who are up for adoption round me have been), and the years of hard work it would take to undo that. Makes me sound very selfish but I think it'simportant to know your own capacity. Also, with a child already in the house I have think about how it would impact him.

The other thought is surrogacy. I already know someone who wants to be a surrogate (she's young, had three kids and loves the idea of it). She also would only be a surrogate if she was carrying someone else's egg - doesn't want to use her own, which fits well with us as we would want our own eggs/sperm to be used. It seems like a more sensible option in many ways (apart from the cost) because I have so many problems along the pregnancy road, and am quite high risk, but as far as we know there's no problem with our sperm or eggs. So far we've just talked about it hypothetically but another few months of not falling pregnant and I think it may have to be a more firm discussion.

We went to an adoption open event and its quite a long journey in itself, if you want to adopt a baby you could wait for years and years and years whereas they have lots of 3+ children who they struggle to home - even that takes a long time. Its hard and is a very personal choice. From my point I helped to raise my siblings so I have had the baby experience, what I yearn for is the pregnancy experience and a child so I think I could go for a toddler rather than a baby. However DH has never experienced a baby so I think a baby would be easiest for him.....

My sister offered to be a surrogate for us but she hasn't had any of her own children yet so I feel that for now this isn't really an option but I love her for offering

QQuaver

staffiecat wrote: »

I think I could go for a toddler rather than a baby. However DH has never experienced a baby so I think a baby would be easiest for him.....

As I have never experienced a baby, I thought I could skip that and go on to having a 3+ child. I don't know if I can cope with raising a baby with 24hr feeding, sleepless nights, constant worry of cot death and ... nappies:o

I do realise if I have a baby of my own, I can't get away from that, but I think it'll be different if it is my own, and have been growing it inside me for 9 months.

My sister offered to be a surrogate for us but she hasn't had any of her own children yet so I feel that for now this isn't really an option but I love her for offering

Great to have that option:cool:

sarahs999

Yes, I know quite a bit about the adoption process from my sister in law who went through it with her partner (they didn't adopt in the end, pulled out at the 11th hour, which I was really sad about). It's very invasive and the checking and tests and questions and everything are quite wearing.

QQuaver

sarahs999 wrote: »

Yes, I know quite a bit about the adoption process from my sister in law who went through it with her partner (they didn't adopt in the end, pulled out at the 11th hour, which I was really sad about). It's very invasive and the checking and tests and questions and everything are quite wearing.

In that case, we better get on with making babies for ourselves:cool:

ginvzt

Adoption: yes, we discussed it many times, and it is an option for us.

I am at the end of my 'month', and I am feeling horrible today. It must have been that late meal last night, as I woke up feeling sick this morning at 4am and couldn't sleep much anymore. I am still having pains, etc. The problem with me is, that if I just had it all 'come up', I would probably be back to normal pretty soon, or as my OH has, it just goes down the 'other end', but in my case, my body just struggles giving me pains and nausea, but nothing changes at the either end!

I guess i had my share of throwing up as a teenager (I used to be physically sick every time AF arrived).

On ttc front, I think our ttc plans are going to go on hold until autumn - I think I've almost decided that I am going to take the new job offer. It will mean longer commute, less holiday, slightly higher pay, but maybe I will enjoy my job once more and have some colleagues to learn from/talk to. I was waiting for 'hook' from my company to stay, but I haven't seen one that would hook me yet. My boss is just 'non-communicating' as always, they have given me a promotion (he asked for it the week before I had my interview, but didn't tell me anything before it was approved), and they upped the salary to £1k below the new offer. I don't like my job, I don't like the office, but then they don't bother me, and if I slack off one day, I can catch-up later on with no problem. In short - I don't want to leave, but I don't think I have another option anymore!

So, if I change, there is 6 months probation, so we wouldn't be going for another IVF cycle until it is over.

staffiecat

QQuaver wrote: »

In that case, we better get on with making babies for ourselves:cool:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: You are quite right you know !

I agree Sarahs999 I think that the process is very invasive and its hard when you think that so many people can have a child without going through what we do - some of whom really aren't ready (I am thinking about drug addicts etc here). I remember a nurse once saying to me that I shouldn't worry about not drinking because I was TTC as she has drug addicts in everyday who have just found out they are pregnant - the drugs clearly never prevented them.

QQ I'm not really sure that my sister would be an option, she is a lot younger then I am and is quite naive - she was offering out of the goodness of her heart but that wouldn't really be an option for OH and I until she had settled with her own kids - thats at least 10 years off !

As for the raising a baby with 24hr feeding, nappy changing etc I think that its just something you get on with like you say because they are your own. If I could do this as a young child for my siblings then we can all definitely do this as adults - its not easy - but just to have the chance would be nice

ginvzt

staffiecat wrote: »

As for the raising a baby with 24hr feeding, nappy changing etc I think that its just something you get on with like you say because they are your own. If I could do this as a young child for my siblings then we can all definitely do this as adults - its not easy - but just to have the chance would be nice

I am so looking forward to this part of their life. Maybe - one day!