The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

liloandstitch

Love the blog - know how she feels.

Hopefully it will settle down ginvzt and I love the analogy of the car service, winky.

How is everyone, I hope you are all bding - could do with some good news. Only another 4 ish weeks and I will be BACK IN ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant wait for the bding, the worrying the 2WW, its sad, but you miss it when its not there! And I have always conceived at this time of year, so I will be !rampant! (shh dont tell hubby in case I cant be bothered!!!!! Will be making an appt with consultant soon re restarting IVF. Its all exciting!

Have a good day - Lilo

nottslass_2

liloandstitch wrote: »

Love the blog - know how she feels.

Hopefully it will settle down ginvzt and I love the analogy of the car service, winky.

How is everyone, I hope you are all bding - could do with some good news. Only another 4 ish weeks and I will be BACK IN ACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant wait for the bding, the worrying the 2WW, its sad, but you miss it when its not there! And I have always conceived at this time of year, so I will be !rampant! (shh dont tell hubby in case I cant be bothered!!!!! Will be making an appt with consultant soon re restarting IVF. Its all exciting!

Have a good day - Lilo

You go Girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I've been keeping "a chair warm" on the "other"thread)

spaghetti_monster

Hi all,

was just mulling this over and wondered what you thought. Was talking to OH, who'd bumped into this guy (from a couple we know) at the station. They were catching up on news. Theirs is that they're moving house and have a 2nd baby on the way. Ours is that I had a mc and OH's mum died pretty much at the same time.....

Anyway, I don't think he told the guy about his mum (he didn't say), but he said "I didn't tell him about the mc cos she's pregnant". So I asked why and he said "you don't tell pregnant women things like that, you'll just worry them."

Firstly, I had a mc at 8.5 weeks and she's due in October, so what happened to me isn't going to happen to her - well it didn't happen. It's her 2nd so I'm sure she's well aware of the ins/outs of mc. So I don't understand that side of it.
Then, it made me feel like a mc is something you don't talk about, for fear of upsetting everybody, which I also don't think is right.

OH also said something like "when you're pregnant we won't be telling you anything negative to worry you". I like to think of myself as realistic/hands on/look-life-in-the-face kind of person. I would never have thought that being pregnant would turn me into someone that needed protecting from anything

I know though that it's difficult in these sort of "quick catch up" conversations,when lately the main things that happened in our lives are sad events. I feel myself sometimes that I don't want to say anything about the mc in this situation.
Although, if we're talking with friends for a longer time and the subject comes up, I don't mind talking about it all.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble! Just found myself feeling a bit confused...

dizziblonde

After going away most of the week - my BMI is still resolutely jammed where it shouldn't be - today I went swimming before breakfast and banged out 20 lengths of the pool, followed by another 30 minutes of gym work this evening... this HAS to have some effect soon... this HAS to have some effect soon.

MadMac_2

Alex, I can kind of understand where your OH is coming from. Men just don't say things like that unless the situation is feeling right for them and remember he would find it hard to talk about as well as you (or me) would do when standing having a quick catch up like that.

In fact, both me and OH still find it hard to talk about MCs from many moons ago, so I guess some things just don't get easier to deal with

So don't read to much into it, we all handle these situations differently I suppose I'm trying to say in a roundabout way!

liloandstitch

Neither me or OH have really told anyone about our mcs, so that sounds quite normal for us. For some reason we dont really feel comfortable with it, but then we are quite private people. You lot on here probably know more about us than our families!

Well, hubby has had a second high BP reading, so he is a hairs breath away from medication. He is being rechecked in a month, and needs to have lost weight and increased his exercise by then - and hopefully see a reduction in his BP. It a bit worrying though as with his cholesterol he is high risk. Of course being male, his idea of increasing his exercise may coincide with my need to increase the bding .................

Lilo

MadMac_2

Ah Lilo, that did make me smile! Make good use of him while you've got a good excuse for lots of exercise!

When my father was put on medication for his high BP he was only on it for a month! I think he just got more used to having his BP taken, so didn't get so agitated when they did - so hopefully some calming sex will have the same effect on your DH?

shelly

Alex I wouldn't worry too much about it. I don't think mc's are something that blokes will talk to blokes about as openly as women talk to each other.
I must admit that even though I will talk openly about our mc's the topic has to come up, its not a subject I would just drop in a conversation. (with others that is)


Even now after nearly 20 years of being together I never fail to amaze my hubby when he over hears conversations between me and gilry friends. He says guys just wouldn't talk about guy things with each other like women do.

spaghetti_monster

Thanks for the replies!
I'm probably more like you Shelly, I don't say anything myself about the mc in quick conversations. But I've got no problem talking about it in longer conversations - we've been married a year and people have often asked us if we'd like children/are we trying etc, so then I'd tell them how it's going.

We often joke that OH is more of a girl than me when it comes to talking about things. He's also a journalist and a very good interviewer - he's curious about people and likes these more in-depth conversations.

I think that what I found strange was that he said it "wasn't the done thing" to tell a pregnant friend about an mc, which I think a female friend of his told him. I'd just never heard of that before...

ginvzt

Alex, don't worry, I don't think I would have told myself about mc in that situation - I would not have wanted to 'impinge' on their happiness.

Well, another day at home for me. The over-sensitive skin, tingling/irritating sensation continued throughout the day and I got watery blister like spots forming on my cheek near my lip. Clarityn didn't help, I tried hidrocortizon cream last night and woke with even worse situation. Will be ringing GP surgery when they open trying to ask and see GP or at least nurse to see what is going on!!!