The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

jiblets1

Hi Laura, welcome - feel free to post as often as you like, you can easily skip between the two threads if you want! Can't help you with the investigations I'm afraid, but I know there are others here who have had them. I'm sure they'll be along soon to help.

Sorry to hear about your difficult months. Hopefully things will improve for you from here.

JohnnieStar

ginvzt - GL with the clomid and getting your BMI down.

Laura - Welcome! Sorry to hear about your losses

lilo - hope you had a good day


xxxx

liloandstitch

Ginvzt, I am impressed! me = technophobe! glad the appt went well, sounds promising.

Laura, am sorry to hear about your losses. I am only up to 2 mcs so havent had any further investigations yet. Hope you get some answers soon. xxx Stay and chat, we are very friendly!!! Hope you get it sorted.

Lilo

stef240377

Laura - a neighbour of my mums kept mc'ing. she had a daughter so the hospital had something to go from. It turned out she could not carry boys. I think in total she had 6 mc's and finally went to term to have a healthy girl. She was then advised not to plan/go ahead with anymore pg's as it had taken its toll on her body.

GIN - i also know someone who had to inject herself every day for her fertility treatment as it was not happening naturally for them, she has gone on to have a boy. Glad you got the folicular tracking sorted, it doesnt take two mins to do and is quite amazing just what they can see in such a quick time. If your hospital is pay and display try and get the shortest time allowed - we get the free 20 mins one as its over and done with so quick. Also the side effects from the clomid should not be too bad now as your body has had a chance to build up resiliance towards them.

Starting to look positive in here again now. Im looking forward to seeing giant bfp's on the thread soon - thats for you fuzz:p

My heads soooo confussed atm, im stuck between consciously ttc or leaving it to nature with all thats goin on with my son. Its going to be a long haul with him and i really dont know how having a baby in the equation will work. The biggest part of me is saying go for it as by now i can cope with just about anything, the emotional side is saying please i want a rest - it never rains till it pours in this house.

ginvzt

stef240377 wrote: »

GIN - i also know someone who had to inject herself every day for her fertility treatment as it was not happening naturally for them, she has gone on to have a boy. Glad you got the folicular tracking sorted, it doesnt take two mins to do and is quite amazing just what they can see in such a quick time. If your hospital is pay and display try and get the shortest time allowed - we get the free 20 mins one as its over and done with so quick. Also the side effects from the clomid should not be too bad now as your body has had a chance to build up resiliance towards them.

Starting to look positive in here again now. Im looking forward to seeing giant bfp's on the thread soon - thats for you fuzz:p

Thanks, I do feel better. It will be hard work to get the weight down, as Clomid is well known for weight gain, not weight loss. But I will do my best! One thing is at least I know now that if this doesn't work, I am getting IVF, dependant on me losing weight. Ao, it is all in my own hands now. I might not have a child this year, but things are looking up for the next year. (Assuming that IVF will work!)

Our hospital car park is £1.5 for the first 6 hours, so it doesn't really matter how it takes. The only thing is I will probably have to 'confess' to my manager, as I don't want to be using up all my holiday time for this. I have flexible hours, but I can't really compensate working later other days as it is 1 hour drive from work to hospital (or also add 45 min to park like yesterday!). Will try and keep quiet for next month,. as our salary reviews are happening in February this year, so don't want them to change their opinion because I might be going on maternity leave (not that anyone would admit and yes, I know they can't use this information for deciding my salary, etc). Also, we won't be having any pay review for 18 months afterwards, so I don't want to loose even 1%.

shelly

ginvzt wrote: »

Will try and keep quiet for next month,. as our salary reviews are happening in February this year, so don't want them to change their opinion because I might be going on maternity leave (not that anyone would admit and yes, I know they can't use this information for deciding my salary, etc). Also, we won't be having any pay review for 18 months afterwards, so I don't want to loose even 1%.

I don't blame you keeping quiet while you can. You are right about them possibly using the info against you even though we all know they shouldn't.
I had an job interview last year in a little village corner shop. She asked if I had any mobility problems or problems with lifting. I said I have a back problem that comes and goes as it pleases but I know the signs of when it's going to go so just have to be careful. She said that was fine, they would work round it and for the high lifting (when shelf stacking) I could use a small step ladder.
After the interview and as I was leaving the shop we were chatting about the fact I used to live in the village and I said it had changed so much. She asked if I had any kids. I said the most stupid words I could....'Not yet'
Her attitude changed instantly. She said I wouldn't be suitable for the job if I was TTC because she didn't want others to have to cover appointments I might have to have and also she didn't want to have to be paying out maternity pay!!
I pointed out she couldn't discriminate against me about it so she said my back problem couldn't be worked around after all.

Thinking back I'm glad she showed her true colours as I wouldn't want to work for someone like that.

Sorry to waffle on :rotfl:

ginvzt

shelly wrote: »

I don't blame you keeping quiet while you can. You are right about them possibly using the info against you even though we all know they shouldn't.

Yes, we all know that. But we also know that anything you say will be used against you! I might just say I have a doctors appointment or something for the first month, and then explain later on to my manager. He is a nice guy, I am sure all would be fine, but I'd rather not risk. But then - I don't intend to stay long here, unless things improve considerably (with the regards to my job becoming more interesting/challenging).

MadMac_2

I have to agree, everything seems to be used against you in this day and age! Plus the increase in legal action means employers are being more and more careful, it's a sad state of affairs when being honest about something so non-threatening counts against you.

BTW my hospital charges £4.40 for four hours and the free period is only ten minutes! I can't even walk to the department from the car park in that time! Thank goodness I don't have to go too often, x

angelavdavis

Hi all and welcome to newbies!

We had a good few days away for my birthday, but every woman there was either holding a baby/toddler or pregnant! It was a relief to spend practically the whole of Thursday (birthday) in the child-free spa!

Lilo - good to hear appt went OK. Fingers crossed all is a-OK for you!

jiblets1 - you are absolutely right - I second the proposal for us all to practice PMA on a regular basis and good to see you have some supporters already!

Ginvzt, good luck with weight loss. I also need to lose a bit more.

Well too late to start using the new CBFM this month now, so it will have to be another month off the boil! After tomorrow evening (last bithday celebration) I am back on the wagon again which will hopefully help with the weightloss!

I had a holy row with OH while away about TTC'ing. I think it has cleared the air though and we made up about it straight away!

liloandstitch

Glad you had a good time, angela - and dont worry with our new improved PMA it will be you with the baby or pregnant next time you go away. I find a good row clears the decks lovely!

I am having a rotten visit from AF! She is very heavy and going on a long time! never mind, at least I am not peeing on a stick at the mo! And the doctor has changed my tablets again, I wasnt getting on with the last one, and was only on a low dose, which needed to be increased. So I have another new one (safe in pregnancy, always optimistic!) and will have another pain killer in a couple of weeks.

Ginvzt, you will soon get the weight off, but you wont need to - clomid is going to work this time!

How much does your carpark charge madmac, that is extortion! Mine dont charge anywhere near that amount.

And I agree, I would never tell the truth about wanting more children, they are not supposed to discriminate, but they do.

Hope everyone has some great plans for the weekend. I am hopefully going to finish sorting out upstairs - I blitzed DS bedroom today and I seem to have most of it now in my bedroom! So much for a nice romantic retreat, it looks more like a pigsty!

Lilo