The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Fairy_dust

Hi, can I join in ?

Just wanted to have a moan really as I know that you all will understand . Bit of background info: we are unexplained infertility, both 38 (well I will be in a couple of weeks), failed 1st IVF last month & today I had my follow up appointment with the consultant.

On my last ivf cycle (short protocol) I got 7 eggs from 9 follicles out of which 5 fertilised. Two embryos were transferred 3days later, the embryologist said that the 2 embryos were very good but out of them both one wasn't as good. The remaining 3 were discarded as they were slow growing. Transfer was straightforward also.

Today the consultant who I just met when he did the egg retrieval told me that "You only produced 7 eggs even though you were on the highest dose of menopur 300iu", "only 5 eggs fertilised out of the 7, while we don't expect 100% we would have liked more" and "your eggs were of average quality and slow in developing". I felt such s failure and I burst into tears . DH said that it was the way that he said it that made it worse than it was. I didn't think that having 5 fertilised eggs was that bad but I've been made to feel it isn't worth trying again. We did say that we wanted too so have been booked in for Feb next year to give us a few months break.

Has anyone else ever been made to feel like !!!!!! after an appointment? I have to say that the other consultants I've seen previously and the nursing staff are lovely

Derby2

Hi Fairy dust,

I've not been through it yet but I have a low AMH and as I was reading your posts I was thinking that I'd be really pleased to get anywhere near as good results like that!

I'm really sorry the consultant was like that-I sometimes wish they would remember that whilst it is a day-2-day job for them, for us it's a massively difficult time in our lives.

I hope you feel more positive when it comes round next time...please don't give up hope because of one insensitive consultant, and don't forget-IVF isn't necessarily the end of the road (Fluffernutter-I always think if you when I get worried about IVF not working and the positive things you have said about egg donation...I have a little bit of hero worship for you!).

Part_Mouse

Fairy dust welcome to you. Sorry to hear the consultan was so insensitive, don't give up.easy to say though.

Fairy_dust

Thanks Derby2,

I knew that people here would understand . I totally agree with the fact that to them it's their job but to us it's a massive deal. People have said before that the first time doesn't always work so I'm not too put off of trying again it was just his attitude today that made me feel crap.

Do you know when you are going to start your treatment?

Fairy_dust

Thanks Part Mouse .

I will read everyone's stories tonight after I get home to catch up with where everyone is at xx

Floaty

Hi all and welcome to the new people joining us

I had another internal ultrasound today which was fine, lovely tech doing it. She said everything looks fine and (unexpectedly) told me she saw 7 follicles on left ovary. I have no idea what that means really.

Afterwards, though, I had a bit of a meltdown on the drive to work. Luckily we have a stress helpline provided through my work and a counsellor managed to talk me down enough to get home. Will be trying to get an emergency gp appointment tomorrow. To be honest, the ttc stuff isn't the biggest problem but it doesn't help. Bummer.

I have everything crossed for our 2ww ladies xx

mrshappy

C'mon PM's follies, go go go

hi Fairy dust

Hi BZ, it's always lovely to see you, hope you're good

Talking of being a delight to live with, I've just been out to the local pub for dinner with OH and we sat in silence throughout the whole meal, just now we are on the laptops on separate couches. I am a grumpy, hormonal horror at the moment. This 2ww nonsense is s***e, I'm sore, sicky, tired and headachey. I feel good emotionally, but awful physically But, the good news today is that I now have 2 frosties According to the embryologist this has been a perfect cycle Anyway, I don't want to moan, this is a "happy thought" 2ww, I so want to start testing though

fluffnutter

Fairy_dust wrote: »

Hi, can I join in ?

Just wanted to have a moan really as I know that you all will understand . Bit of background info: we are unexplained infertility, both 38 (well I will be in a couple of weeks), failed 1st IVF last month & today I had my follow up appointment with the consultant.

On my last ivf cycle (short protocol) I got 7 eggs from 9 follicles out of which 5 fertilised. Two embryos were transferred 3days later, the embryologist said that the 2 embryos were very good but out of them both one wasn't as good. The remaining 3 were discarded as they were slow growing. Transfer was straightforward also.

Today the consultant who I just met when he did the egg retrieval told me that "You only produced 7 eggs even though you were on the highest dose of menopur 300iu", "only 5 eggs fertilised out of the 7, while we don't expect 100% we would have liked more" and "your eggs were of average quality and slow in developing". I felt such s failure and I burst into tears . DH said that it was the way that he said it that made it worse than it was. I didn't think that having 5 fertilised eggs was that bad but I've been made to feel it isn't worth trying again. We did say that we wanted too so have been booked in for Feb next year to give us a few months break.

Has anyone else ever been made to feel like !!!!!! after an appointment? I have to say that the other consultants I've seen previously and the nursing staff are lovely

Whomever you spoke to is an arse. I too was on the highest dose and produced 5 eggs first time, 4 the next. On both occasions I was made to feel that that was a really good achievement and even though only one fertilised I was never made to feel that I'd 'under-performed'. The fact is none of us can help how we respond, it's not something we can just 'try a bit harder at'. If we could actually affect these things, don't you think we'd all have a billion kids by now?? Honestly, I'm so cross on your behalf that I'm typing really aggressively! I'm hammering the keys!

And the average rate of fertilisation is 50% so to get 5 out of 7 is absolutely fantastic. Ooh, I'm fuming!

fluffnutter

mrshappy wrote: »

C'mon PM's follies, go go go

hi Fairy dust

Hi BZ, it's always lovely to see you, hope you're good

Talking of being a delight to live with, I've just been out to the local pub for dinner with OH and we sat in silence throughout the whole meal, just now we are on the laptops on separate couches. I am a grumpy, hormonal horror at the moment. This 2ww nonsense is s***e, I'm sore, sicky, tired and headachey. I feel good emotionally, but awful physically But, the good news today is that I now have 2 frosties According to the embryologist this has been a perfect cycle Anyway, I don't want to moan, this is a "happy thought" 2ww, I so want to start testing though

Test if you want to. It doesn't affect the outcome. I wish I'd tested more.

Part_Mouse

Mrs happy got everything crossed for you, I hope all the hormonal crap is worth it and you get your bp.