The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

time2deal

Hi,

I'm actually mentally in quite a good place at the moment. I don't know how to write this without sounding, I don't know, maybe condescending, but I'm actually in a much better place overall about TTC at the moment.

Since the cancer diagnosis, I'm much more philosophical about it all. I'm going to make some changes, and move to where all my friends and family are to share their kids lives if we can't have our own. We maybe still can, but it's suddenly not THE MOST important thing in our lives. That may change in a few months, but for the moment I am enjoying not being sick, and allowing myself to plan and think about life without constantly worrying about how it fits around TTC. And I'm stopping avoiding people, and trying (with limited sucess) not to be too jealous when other people get pregnant in two seconds flat.

To be honest, at the moment I am more stressed about how much of my nephews lives I am missing. They are 5 and 6 and I've been living on the opposite side of the world for their whole lives. Why?? No good reason now it feels, so we will go back and be part of their lives. Moving back is my main focus now - although it will take a year to achieve I expect.

I reserve the right to forget all this and get back to obsessing in August when we are allowed to try!

Part_Mouse

T2deal its good to hear your feel more positive about ttc and how it impacts your life. I hope ttc/moving back hope keeps you feel positive.

Xx

Part_Mouse

Has anyone been on tamoxafin? On the last day today and really feeling it, feel really emotional, cold and tired.
Meh
Xx

becca0417

Part mouse I haven't but clomid is making me the same xx

chickpea

Sounds like your head is in a good place T2D, hope all your plans come to fruition.

I too am missing my nephews' lives - they live in Slovakia. To be fair though, it's not as if we can move there...but I am sad that we are more or less strangers to them, they are now 8 and 10.

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I am being really weird this week - because my last AF was really light, and I have funny b(o)(o)b pain I keep testing...even though every test is BFN, and I did have AF, however light, and I'm actually on CD9...

However, I have finally kicked my OPK habit - not buying anymore!

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Apart from that I am stressed beyond belief - post is being cut at work so it's time to dust off my CV. AArgh, stress, pass the valium..

I feel my life is very stale anyway though, and lacks meaning, to an extent..what can I do that's meaningful? I wish I could just get pg..why didn't I think of that before??!

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Weightloss going well though - coz of the stress - 2 and a half stones down now! Maybe my ovaries will respond in time if I keep losing..?

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Good luck everyone with whatever's going on..!

Part_Mouse

Becca I hope your feeling better soon.

Sorry to hear about your work stress chickpea.i hope things pick up for you soon.

Think I'm going to try and have an early night, I hope tommorow I feel a little better.

Xx

bigzippy

Good luck with the job hunt chickpea, and well done on the weightloss. I've still stalled, but I have birthday plans this wark so I'm not stressing about it til they're done with

T2d, your plans sound good. I would feel far less...necessary? Valued? Something...a person/woman/maternal-type figure without my nieces and nephew in my life, so I can understand why you'd want to be closer to them. They have been my reason for carrying on, before now, truth be told

Wtdn, it could just be the way the heavy bleeding and the chemical composition of the tampon smells? I noticed a difference in odour between them, mooncup and pads before now. Sometimes it makes me heave when af is heavy. If you are concerned though you should ask a nurse/doc, I'm sure it could be easily checked out.

Part mouse & becca, I've felt drained around ov for a while but particularly on clomid.

Tealover, thinking of you

Qq, what's going on with you these days?

Teamlowe, I understand your feelings, I'm pretty much in that state of mind too. I feel the need to reclaim my life, make sure I'm not living for & around what if's. I have no idea right now if we'll even go through with nhs ivf, but I have little faith in it working. I have a small pot set aside for when it doesn't work, but not mitch faith of that happening either. I'm probably putting most eggs in the fostering 'basket' atm (and there's no guarantees in that either). Although, it doesn't stop me occasionally bargaining/begging/pleading with God to please just let this be the one...:cool:

Do you have a 'backup plan', for if it doesn't for you? Sometimes they can offer a little comfort

Part_Mouse

BZ

How are you doing?

xx

time2deal

Hi Ladies,

Looking for a bit of advice. Has anyone managed to get their partner to take vitamin/supplements to improve SA? And any that seemed to help?

I have managed to get an agreement from DH that he will start to take some supplements (ie, probably 1) a day as we are now 4 months away from being allowed to start to try again. His count and motility are low, so help on either or both would be great.

Has anyone used them, and any advice on which to go for?

(Duplicate from other thread - probably more help here!)

tea_lover

Hi T2D. I got my OH to agree to take vits really easily, getting him to remember has been a different issue! He's got no issue at all with taking them, but he really has got an awful memory (has to come back in the house about 3 times each morning for things he's forgotten).

I tend to put one on his plate with his dinner, so he has no excuse for forgetting now!

We've been using the asda male multivits. They seemed to contain everything we needed.

Both of OH's SA have been pretty poor. Unfortunately we haven't had one since he's been taking the vits so I don't know if they've made the slightest bit of difference tbh. There must have been enough in the last sample for icsi, but we didn't get any numbers from that one.

I'd be really interested to get another SA done to see if there have been any changes. OH has also cut down his drinking a lot (it wasn't excessive before but there tended to be one night out a week, now it's more like once a month, if that). I'm not sure what our chances would be of getting another test, I guess we can ask.

Sorry, am rambling a bit now! 4 months is a great timescale to make changes in terms of diet, supplements etc. Really hope it does the trick x.