The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Part_Mouse

Thanks for the infor tea and cake

Xx

tea_lover

T&C, big hugs for you both x. I think my OH's results hit us both harder than any of the issues I've got. Guys just seem to take it very personally.

Fwiw, I found the thought of ivf far worse than the reality, once you get going with it all it's just a lot of appointments and waiting around.

bigzippy

There's nothing healthy about being up at stupid o'clock, unable to sleep, staring into space, wondering if you will actually ever achieve pregnancy, bargaining with God in the hopes that you will be allowed the chance to be pregnant at the same time as three of your closest friends so you don't have to be so jealous and bitter all the damn time about your best friends can enjoy the experience together...

And yet, this is what I'm finding myself doing. Once again.

I hate the bargaining stage. With a f@+*ing passion.

amyloofoo

bigzippy wrote: »

There's nothing healthy about being up at stupid o'clock, unable to sleep, staring into space, wondering if you will actually ever achieve pregnancy, bargaining with God in the hopes that you will be allowed the chance to be pregnant at the same time as three of your closest friends so you don't have to be so jealous and bitter all the damn time about your best friends can enjoy the experience together...

And yet, this is what I'm finding myself doing. Once again.

I hate the bargaining stage. With a f@+*ing passion.

There's two of us doing the insomnia-bargaining tonight BZ... I've just been working out my 'due date' if I was pg now. Which I'm not. *sigh*

You're not near enough to offer you a cuppa and a hug, but I hope it helps to know that somewhere in the world there's someone thinking of you and (in the not-weirdest possible way) hoping that your lady-parts have been quietly doing their work and that you'll have good news for us in a week or so

This is going to be a year of exciting things for the ladies on this thread... I can feel it :grouphug:

Part_Mouse

Morning all

BZ and Amy big hugs for you, I do know what you mean about bargaining.

Still no call from FS so will have to write to her now, why does everything have to take so long.

xx

fluffnutter

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

Just got back from our appointment. Clomid is a no go for us as the sperm results make the specialist feel it would just be a stressful waste of our time. Our IVF open evening is 7th May and he thinks they'll give us a treatment start date then. :eek:

OH has completely shut down. He's gutted. I'm so upset that this has hit him like this. I know he's picking himself to pieces but he just won't talk about it. I'm going to go speak to the MIL (first time I've ever called her that!) I think to see if she can get him talking.

FS also gave us pre IVF advice so thought I'd post it in case it's useful for anyone else. No heavy exercise (he told me not to start couch to 5k as some evidence shows that strenuous exercise can put your body into 'protective mode' with is hostile to conception, swimming/ yoga/ pilates is OK), folic acid and multi-vits for me. Multi-vits and Vit C, E and Zinc for OH. Loose boxers (he hates that...). Reduce caffeine and alcohol as much as possible and both eat a healthy diet. He also told us to try and find a way to reduce the stress that we're feeling- easier said than done pal!

I think some of the stress noise has gone from my head... not a lot as OH is freaking me out but I think knowing for certain the route that needs to be taken and knowing that physically I should be able to carry a pregnancy (even with slightly higher miscarriage/ caesarian/ early labour stats) has reassured me a little. Thanks to everyone here for your encouragement over the past months- I don't know what I'd have done without you all. :T

Just been talking to the OH asking him how he felt when his sperm analyses showed that he was a bit 'below par' (we needed ICSI in the end).

I remember that he was pretty OK with the news and thought he might have some words of encouragement that people can pass on to their other halves in the same situation.

A lot he put down to personality (he takes everything in his stride) but he did say that just as he doesn't see me as less of a woman for needed an egg donor nor does he see himself as less of a man for having lazy swimmers. He said 'that's just the way we are'.

I bet your OH doesn't see you in a different way just because you've got an odd-shaped womb; I bet you're still the woman he adores. Perhaps try to encourage him to see himself in the same terms?

mrshappy

Good morning,
tea and cake-I think men take a wee while longer to get their thought process moving-after every appt/piece of news my oh would go into "man mode" while he gathered his thoughts about talking about it-it meant that when he did talk he made more sense and we could have a more rational discussion. I hope that gets across what I'm trying to say. The only time during this that I have seen my oh have a bit of a freaky was when something came on the telly with a rather unpleasant young man banging on about how being a dad was the best thing that had ever happened to him and that's why he had x amount of kids to different women-it still took oh about 3 days to tell me that's what had upset him though

Onestep-good luck with the adoption process, am looking forward to hearing about it x

BZ-hugs xx

tea_lover

Can definitely empathise with the bargaining stage. There is nothing I haven't promised over the last few days if only my baby(ies) are ok.

lilymay1

Tea - How many potential babies do you have in there?

tea_lover

We had 2x 5 day embryos put back. I'm not greedy, if only one has stuck I'd still be very happy with that!

In theory I'm around 5 wks now... and still desperate for symptoms.

ETA: I'm trying to decide if my colleague's coffee really does smell odd or if it's wishful thinking lol.