oi what you doing here

hypno06

elantan wrote: »

four very good questions taken from N.L.P that are good to think of when these situations arise and one i will be adopting in future are

1) what will happen if i do this
2) what wont happen if i do this
3) what will happen if i dont do this
4) what wont happen if i dont do this


i think they are good questions to ask yourself if you are having these issues

The other one I add in to this is "what is the absolute worst that will happen?"

The worst that can happen is not normally as bad as you originally thought.....

The_Dragon

elantan wrote: »

just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water .... the issue with son has really hit the skids now and i need to come up with a new solution

I'm sorry to hear this Elantan - will you be able to sort it out?

savingholmes

Hi el hope you sort the problem

elantan

well el the rescuer did not rescue ..yay ... i went down and listened to the situation and then offered alternative view points (this didnt go down well lol) but didnt offer to fix anything ...hubby asked me to go get dinner (we had to eat out due to the situation) so we went and he asked me what i was doing he thought maybe i would want to go with the plan he mentioned the other night (i know it is complicated and i totally understand if you are rubbing your head going what the hell is she talking about...but i dont want to say on a public forum) i stood my ground and said no and gave him all the reasons why no was my answer so that he knew i wasnt doing it out of spite or trying to be nasty ... he looked at me and said nothing ...we got our dinner and headed back in the car and as we pulled up he turned to me and said " el i love you ...and i am glad you did think it through i hadnt thought about those things ...and you are right ...we cant solve this...even if we wanted to ... we have our own issues to deal with ...and we wouldnt be doing anyone a favour if we did we would be denying them the chance (things i mentioned) " and you know what he actually looked relieved ...it was as if he wouldve went through with the plan knowing that he didnt want to but feeling obligated that he had to ... he then gave me a huge hug and wonderful kiss (sigh) and we went in and listened again ate our food came out and let it slide ...spoke about our weekend plans ...

life is good


hypno love the other question

skint_spice

awww - a happy ending! (well as good as)

taxi73

Sounds sort of sorted between you and OH...and that you're both singing from the same hymn sheet regarding DS(if I've understood correctly)

elantan

taxi73 wrote: »

Sounds sort of sorted between you and OH...and that you're both singing from the same hymn sheet regarding DS(if I've understood correctly)

Yep u understood correctly I can understand how it wouldve been hard to lol

elantan

Meant to say some of the things I said was after what I had read on here from saving cheers everyone for the input

savingholmes

elantan wrote: »

Meant to say some of the things I said was after what I had read on here from saving cheers everyone for the input

you are welcome! Have a great day! You've helped me too this week with your encouragement!:A Also supporting you in not rescuing is helping me see where I still try to rescue when I shouldn't

Karmacat

Oh wow, El - I just read what you posted about you and your OH's serious discussion - that resolution sounds wonderful for you two and your relationship! Thats a helluva lot of growth ... may need another meal out to celebrate :dance:

Seriously, tho, thats lovely. Congratulations.