Trying For a Baby III

GettingHitched

jennyfleur77 wrote: »

Love it, can just imagine it! My cats think its christmas at the moment, cuddles all day!!! x

hehehe...plus playing all the silly facebook games....(cafeworld...how sad am i )

jennyfleur77

Gettinghitched, when are you getting hitched? Or has it happened already? x

Lauralou

jennyfleur77 wrote: »

Gettinghitched, when are you getting hitched? Or has it happened already? x

Haha i was just going to ask that!
well off swimming i go, wish me luck!!
x

Lauralou

oh and keep chatting so i got something to look forward for when i come home!!
x

astro_k_2

jennyfleur77 wrote: »

I can't imagine how it must have felt a 2nd time, thats so awful for you, were they both around the same sort of times, and did you have to have the op both times, hope you don't mind me asking xxxx

I've posted the details here before, so everyone else, please ignore....

But jennyfleur - for my first mmc, I was like you and found out at the 12 week scan - the baby had stopped growing at around 6 weeks, but the sac carried on growing until I finally mc'd. I was supposed to be going away on holiday a few days later, and they couldn't book me in for an op before we went (although I didn't really want one), and they said it should be fine to go for the "conservative management" option, even though I was on an island a flight away from the hospital. They said it would be "just like a heavy period". Harrumph. When it started happening naturally, about ten days later, it was terrifying, not like a heavy period at all - my OH was convinced I was going to die, but then again, he's not very good with anything medical. Ended up in hospital on a drip for three days, and off work with severe anaemia for a month. Anyway, the enhanced fertility after a mc worked, and we fell again in the second month. Didn't feel right, right from the start, started spotting, and at an early scan that the doctor kindly arranged, found that the size of the sac didn't match with my dates. Had to have a second scan two weeks later (that was a fun wait.... not) and nothing had grown. They gave me the option of an ERPC, but since the sac was so small compared to the first time (5mm compared to about 100mm - ouch), I decided to let it happen naturally. That was the right decision for me, as it was nothing like as bad as the first time - think I was really unlucky then. The only downside was that it happened on holiday again, the holiday we'd planned to make up for the first ruined holiday.... Went back to work as planned after the holiday, so 7days after the mc started. That felt right for me, as it took my mind off things, and I didn't want to take more unexplained time off (had to be a bit vague the previous time, and state anaemia with no cause, as they mustn't know we're ttc). There are no kiddies where I work, so that wasn't an issue, and I was feeling fine physically, although still bleeding a little bit. But you must go back only when you feel ready.

The upside of the conservative route is that your hormones sort themselves out perhaps a bit more quickly than with an op, although you have to wait for it to happen in the first place. So swings and roundabouts. Mentally, I was far more devastated the first time around, as although I knew the statistics (I'm 38 and he's 43), I hadn't seriously thought it might happen to us. This time around, I haven't felt quite so sad, as I think I was more prepared for it. But it's made me feel really screwed up inside about what I really want, which has been quite a shock. I've had to try and ignore my current feelings, and go with what I felt like before, otherwise perhaps we wouldn't be trying again for quite a while. Has anyone else felt like this?

Anyway, so it's a few weeks on for us now, and I haven't burst into tears for a while. Think I'm going to find it really hard in December, when my little sister's baby is born, just before the time when our first would have been due. But the ostrich approach is working well for me at the moment....

Big hugs, and feel free to get in touch if you'd like (haven't tried PMs on this site, but I assume it works).

GettingHitched

jennyfleur77 wrote: »

Gettinghitched, when are you getting hitched? Or has it happened already? x

really should change my user name..

we were meant to be getting married next september, but my little bro is going to be in Afghanistan for most of the year..wouldnt want to get married with him not there...so we have put it on hold for now...

as OH is older than me (me 26 he 36) he doesnt want to be an old dad, so decided to try for a baby instead and get married at a later date

astro_k_2

portsmouthali - I've just seen your post - I'm so so sorry to hear that. I've found this thread so supportive recently, both when I was lurking, and then when I finally took the plunge to start posting. So hopefully you will too. I hope that it's all gone for you naturally, so you don't have to go through the trauma of EPRC as well. There's not much that I can say apart from that I have too much of an idea of some of the feelings and emotions you are going through at the moment - let your family support you as much as possible - and hopefully it'll work out for you soon. ((hugs))

money_maker_3

Hi guys, sorry to just but in, but thought I would post this link incase you hadnt saw it
http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/507581/clearblue-digital-pregnancy-tests-p

jennyfleur77

Thanks Astro_k, you've had a really tough year by the sounds of it, how's your OH taking it all?
My sister-in-law has been through something similar this year, she's 41 and my brother is 47, (he already has 2 children) were trying and she m/c'd twice earlier this year, and is now pg again, due in january, but her attitude for this pregnancy has been very matter-of-fact, think she must've blocked alot of the emotion out and thought, this is what we wanted 6 months so this is what we want now! I think you automatically get a bit harsh on yourself, which is ok aslong as you don't go overboard! There seem to be lots of people on here who have gone through this twice, i'm sure someone will have the same feelings as you, don't give up on what you really want though, lots of love n hugs xxxxx

jennyfleur77

good plan gettinghitched, you can then have your little one running around at your wedding, our friends had a baby in jan and jot married in july, their little boy was so cute at their wedding, everyone took turns pushing him around!! think he stole the show really! x