Trying For a Baby III

LilDevil

becs wrote: »

Well said Natalie! :T
Smartie I think the old TTc'ers have been put somewhat put off by newbies coming and posting BFP's in a "TRYING TO CONCEIVE" thread. Whilst we are happy to support anyone new coming onto the thread, asking questions about reliability of a pregnancy test is not about trying to conceive. May I suggest these posts may be better answered on the pregnancy thread where there are actually pregnant women who therefore have experience of pregnancy tests rather than those still TRYING to conceive who therefore would not be able to tell you whether they're reliable or not. I find the whole thing of people doing this deeply insensitive and distatsteful.
I know some women have had positive tests on here and have then been unfortunate in having miscarried. Do you think it's fair either that they should be asked these questions? Does it not just smack of rubbing salt in the wound?

I don't find it distasteful at all, as someone that has miscarried, I am in a position where I can answer this type of question.

I know some of you do find it upsetting when newbies announce they're pg, but even so, I don't think they should be villified for getting there before some of the long-timers - it's not their fault they were lucky enough to get there quicker. After all, how many are there here that are pg and not comfortable going over to the pg boards just yet or because they move so quickly - should they also be met with such strong words at a time when they need some reassurance and advice.

I know I would've been distraught to see a message like this had I just had a very scary/exciting possible bfp after the first month of trying again after coming off injections to control adenomyosis (for those that don't know, I was trying for 10 months, had to go on injections for another 12 months to put me in a temporary menopause to stop the constant agony and then started trying again 12 months ago) - we do not know their history, for all we know, they could've been in a situation similar to this, or a long-term lurker who thought she could benefit from some of your experiences.

yorkygal

LilDevil wrote: »

I don't find it distasteful at all, as someone that has miscarried, I am in a position where I can answer this type of question.

I know some of you do find it upsetting when newbies announce they're pg, but even so, I don't think they should be villified for getting there before some of the long-timers - it's not their fault they were lucky enough to get there quicker. After all, how many are there here that are pg and not comfortable going over to the pg boards just yet or because they move so quickly - should they also be met with such strong words at a time when they need some reassurance and advice.

I know I would've been distraught to see a message like this had I just had a very scary/exciting possible bfp after the first month of trying again after coming off injections to control adenomyosis (for those that don't know, I was trying for 10 months, had to go on injections for another 12 months to put me in a temporary menopause to stop the constant agony and then started trying again 12 months ago) - we do not know their history, for all we know, they could've been in a situation similar to this, or a long-term lurker who thought she could benefit from some of your experiences.

Thanks for that LilDevil, but I can take a hint and wont post on here again....bye

smartie12

I would just like to add something DH said...

I bet those who have come on to say they had a BFP, without posting before, would never of posted if it had been a BFN

Anyway.....

2WW for me:rolleyes: As some of you know I had some spotting yesterday which has know stopped. I was a bit paniced by it but I'm secretly hoping it was implantation bleed;):D

And when I get my BFP I will be posting it on here with pride - cos I'm entitled to:p

And I will stay until I know its a proper staying put sticky bean:p

And any lurkers who are TTC please don't be put off from posting as all ladies who are TRYING are welcome :A

LilDevil

yorkygal wrote: »

Thanks for that LilDevil, but I can take a hint and wont post on here again....bye

I'm sorry you feel that way hun, we really are a lovely bunch here, it's just a sensitive issue for some. Whether you decide to come back or not, I'd like to wish you the very best for a happy, healthy pregancy.

MadMac_2

I'll just pop my head in and say hi!

winnie72

I'm just saying hello too. Waiting for some test results before we try again after the miscarriage.

bitzer_maloney

lildevil - I see what you're saying, but I still think that a quick skim of some of the posts and a little bit of thought would go a long way. The written word can be taken in so many ways, often not in the way its intended, and the ttc/12month/pg threads are all full of hormones and newbies should be mindful of that when they post.

Regardless of whether people think they were "got at", this thread is a support thread for people who are trying and not those who struck lucky first time and want to discuss the ins and out of pregnancy tests. That's for the pregnancy thread, the ladies there will be much better placed to give advice and support. Posting that stuff here *is* rubbing salt in the wound.

Edited to add: this should all obviously be taken with a pinch of salt as its written by a sad old barren woman consumed with bitter jealousy. Oh for such an ivory tower to cast my views to all and sundry....

katyj10

Hi everyone. Don't really want to comment on the earlier threads except to say I can see both sides. All I can say is I wish it was me posting BFP results this month.

Starting to think of myself as an old timer now!!

I went out to buy the bogof FR tests yesterday at boots and ... before I got to use them AF turned up today. ( I did a cheapie on Thursday that was a bfn anyway but was a bit early really).

Gl all testers - keep us up to date. Any new people ttc don't be put off joining in. The more the merrier. We're all here to support each other through the highs and the lows.

CD1 for me... onwards and upwards!

Katy x

SkintGypsy

Hi ladies. Not sure about posting on this thread anymore, but don't want to use the pregnancy one just yet. Feeling really unsure about this PG after last time. It's totally different, since I have had no bleeding and loads of symptoms, but I just can't help but feel that I am going to scan at 12w and find there is nothing there. Do you still get symptoms if it is a blighted ovum for example or a MMC?

Hoping this isn't insensitive, as I appreciate many of you would love to be in my position right now, but I am really worried and have nobody to talk to in RL.

becs

LilDevil there is an enormous difference between someone joining us one month and posting a bfp the following to someone whose first post is about a positive pg test or suspected pg and that is what I am saying. Of course I wish Yorkygal and Mrs_Tradition the very best for the next 9 months but I just don't see how a pregnancy related first post is appropriate to a trying to conceive forum?
As for existing posters staying on the board in the early days again that is entirely different. The ladies who have been on here over the months before their bfp's have built up support from the others here and they are reluctant to leave until they're into a safer period which is absoloutely fine. Particually as these ladies have the sensitivity to not be continually posting about their pg's and often just lurk with the odd post of advice to someone. If however they were to be filling the pages all day long with how their pregnancys were going and all the side effects etc and scans, and all the excitement that goes with it then I suspect it may be a different story but that isn't the case.
I just feel if it's a pregnancy related question there are 100% of posters on the pg thread qualified to answer rather than perhaps 5-10% on the TTC?