MSE Pregnancy Club XIV

Nicki

BeenieCat wrote: »

Nicki i don't find the posts particularly interesting either, since i'm so good at talking myself out of doing even the washing up

However i can't say i've ever been annoyed by the amount of posts by people in this thread, i just skim-read those posts. There's loads of posts in this thread that aren't discussing anything relevant, so where do you draw the line? I'm sure there's plenty of thread discussing maternity benefits/budgeting too, but i don't see anything wrong with that being discussed.

If we banish all posts discussing something that could be posted in another thread then this thread would be "oh my bump is xx big this week/i've just had my scan/i'm due xx date".
Essentially it would then become a chat thread, and there's a daily chat thread in the Arms too, so should we go there?!

I disagree with having spin off threads, it's nice for us to have one place to come to and tak about these things. The birth thread can be an exception as it's good to have all those in one place for ease of reading/less searching. We could easily end up with 10+ spin off threads... There's already pregnancy club threads for 12m ttc & pg, ebay selling, birth stories - i'm sure there's more.

What next?

The" Maternity Pay and Benefits" discussion thread
The "Maternity leave discussion" thread
The "Raspberry leaf tea discussion" thread
The "I'm overdue" thread
The "I'm being induced" thread
The "Nesting" thread
The "My Baby has been born" thread

etc etc

Well perhaps I'm in a minority of one then, but what was happening (a lot) was that SS in particular was posting her fairly long to do list every single day (not baby related) without apparently reading any of the preceding thread first. So what was happening was that someone would post that they were having bleeding/a miscarriage/serious problems of some sort or another, there would be a couple of supportive post immediately afterwards, then a long list of: finish essay, go to the post office to get stamps, look up the word for wallpaper paste in german, etc, etc, then the thread would go off on a tangent, and the original poster who was coming here for some support on a thread which is aimed at that was not really getting that support, and nor to be honest did anyone ever comment on any of the chores which SS was doing. So I'm afraid I did post a whinge about her doing it at the time because I thought that it negatively impacted on the supportiveness and ethos of the thread.

It is interesting (imho) when people share what they are doing to prepare for the baby's arrival, or significant things which they are doing in their lives, but you wouldn't tell a friend in real life these tedious minutiae, much less write to them about it, and given that I'd guess there are more than a 100 of us on the EDD list, if everyone starts doing it on a regular basis it will bog the thread down, and is IMHO unnecessary, given, as I say, that there is already a thread for this purpose on another part of the board.

Gossip, chat, etc is what the thread is supposed to be about, and on or off topic doesn't really matter provided I would suggest that the central purpose of the thread, which is to support those who are pregnant, doesn't get drowned out in white noise.

BeenieCat

When people say they're small when talking about the size of their babies, do they mean weight or height? Frame i know, but i am 5'1" and petite (don't look it anymore since i'm overweight now) and DS was 6lb6oz. Wonder if next baby will be roughly the same!

This one we think is a girl, hoping the next scan will be clearer as she had legs crossed mostly on my last one. I know ex has 1 girl 1 boy and the boy was 6ish, girl was 8.5ish :eek:

SugarSpun

Beenie, if my best friend was pregnant I'd be wrestling the midwives out of the way to be her birthing partner if she wanted me there. Don't worry about being a burden when people want to help you - I imagine the people who love you want to do whatever they can because they think you're worth it. And if I was on the same landmass and not a stranger off the internet I'd mind your son.

You and Harley will do wonderfully well and I'm in awe of you.


Edit: I think people talk about small or large babies weight-wise rather than related to their length. The Bellyfrog's around 3kg or so, so around 6 1/2lbs. I don't think the length of fullterm newborns has the same degree of variation as weight does. Hmm, now I'm interested. I'm going to Google then come back.

Edit again: Normal height range for the average boy baby is 45-55cm at birth, and the average girl is 45-54cm. Normal weight range of newborns is between 5.5-10lbs. So I guess there's much more variation with weight, which might suggest a greater interest in that measurement?

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

Nicki i don't find the posts particularly interesting either, since i'm so good at talking myself out of doing even the washing up

However i can't say i've ever been annoyed by the amount of posts by people in this thread, i just skim-read those posts. There's loads of posts in this thread that aren't discussing anything relevant, so where do you draw the line? I'm sure there's plenty of thread discussing maternity benefits/budgeting too, but i don't see anything wrong with that being discussed.

If we banish all posts discussing something that could be posted in another thread then this thread would be "oh my bump is xx big this week/i've just had my scan/i'm due xx date".
Essentially it would then become a chat thread, and there's a daily chat thread in the Arms too, so should we go there?!

I disagree with having spin off threads, it's nice for us to have one place to come to and tak about these things. The birth thread can be an exception as it's good to have all those in one place for ease of reading/less searching. We could easily end up with 10+ spin off threads... There's already pregnancy club threads for 12m ttc & pg, ebay selling, birth stories - i'm sure there's more.

What next?

The" Maternity Pay and Benefits" discussion thread
The "Maternity leave discussion" thread
The "Raspberry leaf tea discussion" thread
The "I'm overdue" thread
The "I'm being induced" thread
The "Nesting" thread
The "My Baby has been born" thread

etc etc

Of course the point being this is a pregnancy thread so all the things you have listed as examples would belong on it. How many washings you will do today, who you have to phone, what shop you need to go to etc are not. :rolleyes:

BeenieCat

Nicki i think a lot of the posts for help can get bypassed already. I think a lot of it is people not knowing what to say, and i'm sure acknowledging the request for support/advice would be better than moving onto next random blabber post and ignoring it.

I'm just as guilty of this as anyone though, but when i post stuff that doesn't get much of a response, it can be upsetting. i.e the other i posted about my scan and i got 1 or 2 people who mentioned it, then always29 had loads of congrats messages. Of course i'd just had to hoo haa with ex and was feeling over emotional, and lots of people have written loads of nice stuff since then which i'm highly grateful for!

Anyway i know that wasn't the main point of what you're saying, i'm just waffling

BeenieCat

csh wrote: »

Of course the point being this is a pregnancy thread so all the things you have listed as examples would belong on it. How many washings you will do today, who you have to phone, what shop you need to go to etc are not. :rolleyes:

Yes but given most of SS's posts with lists were based on preparing her house for her baby, then where is the line?

Fine she could go to flylady and post about her need to wash baby clothes, send off baby related forms at the post office etc, but she spends all of her MSE time in here, offering and taking advice and support from other pregnant ladies which she is entitled to do, if she has a major nesting urge and wants to keep track of what she's doing in a list, then it's not going to do you any harm to skim past that post, as i always have done. It's not like she was asking for a discussion on her latest list :rolleyes:

csh_2

BeenieCat wrote: »

When people say they're small when talking about the size of their babies, do they mean weight or height? Frame i know, but i am 5'1" and petite (don't look it anymore since i'm overweight now) and DS was 6lb6oz. Wonder if next baby will be roughly the same!

This one we think is a girl, hoping the next scan will be clearer as she had legs crossed mostly on my last one. I know ex has 1 girl 1 boy and the boy was 6ish, girl was 8.5ish :eek:

I'm small as in weight and height and build! Less than 8st pre preg, size 8, 5'1". No complications birthing an above average baby tho, not even any stitches:cool:. I was 9lb9oz when i was born;)

got-it-spend-it

SugarSpun wrote: »

Beenie, if my best friend was pregnant I'd be wrestling the midwives out of the way to be her birthing partner if she wanted me there. Don't worry about being a burden when people want to help you - I imagine the people who love you want to do whatever they can because they think you're worth it. And if I was on the same landmass and not a stranger off the internet I'd mind your son.

You and Harley will do wonderfully well and I'm in awe of you.


Edit: I think people talk about small or large babies weight-wise rather than related to their length. The Bellyfrog's around 3kg or so, so around 6 1/2lbs. I don't think the length of fullterm newborns has the same degree of variation as weight does. Hmm, now I'm interested. I'm going to Google then come back.

I totally agree with SS- if my best friend needed a birth partner I would be over the moon to do it. Wouldn't see it as a burden in any way.

I think I'd have gone doolally before now without my OH to moan at, so I'm totally in awe of you guys too. My Mum was a single Mum for a while when I was very young and now I think about it, she did an amazing job in what must have been really hard circumstances. But as Harley says, you are much better off without someone who doesn't want to be involved.

BeenieCat

Also, discussing what's on TV tonight, what we're going to cook, which offer Domino's have on this week, is also not related to pregnancy but for some reason to do lists are being mentioned like they're constant (which they are, and were not)

csh_2

SugarSpun wrote: »

Edit again: Normal height range for the average boy baby is 45-55cm at birth, and the average girl is 45-54cm. Normal weight range of newborns is between 5.5-10lbs. So I guess there's much more variation with weight, which might suggest a greater interest in that measurement?

My DD was 60.5cm long at birth! None of the newborn sleepsuits with feet fitted her:rotfl: