A fresh start

taxi73

I can understand you putting it on 0% if you're not going to run it up again.

Seaxwyn

Thanks Karmacat, you are right - it seems that I'm doomed to have one debt creeping up somewhere while the total figure goes down, so better its creeping up at 0% than 18%. I will transfer that dratted debt. Thanks!

And thanks to everyone who supports me even while thinking I am making bad decisions. I know everyone's advice is well considered and well meant and accept that I have some blind spots. I really value everyone's opinions, especially Chev's. Thank you Chev for giving me excellent advice and telling me uncomfortable home truths for several years now.

Savvy_sewing

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Thanks Karmacat, you are right - it seems that I'm doomed to have one debt creeping up somewhere while the total figure goes down, so better its creeping up at 0% than 18%. I will transfer that dratted debt. Thanks!

And thanks to everyone who supports me even while thinking I am making bad decisions. I know everyone's advice is well considered and well meant and accept that I have some blind spots. I really value everyone's opinions, especially Chev's. Thank you Chev for giving me excellent advice and telling me uncomfortable home truths for several years now.

We all have our rocky moments, and need advise, and hands to hold. Sometimes we get the answers we want, and othertimes we dont. Sad facts of our lives.
With OH, it sounds to me like he may have some of the problems that the twins have on occasion.
Perhaps he should see if he can get DLA again, on the "mental" rather then the "physical aspects" of the claim. For the support you need to give him, to organise him and to give him some access to other support. I think it is down to how the forms are filled out. Depression certainly is on the forms.
What ever you decide to do in life, its your life.
(Mind you I stuck with my childrens father for 13 1/2 years, when I had wanted out even before my first child was born. But one day, I decided that I could do it better without him and took the plunge. Life has not been easy I can tell you, but I would still stand by that decision.)

Chin up, keep on going, and do the best that you can. Thats all that anyone can do. Good luck with it all. Mooloo xx

lucielle

Could you move the balance and cut the overdraft down so not as much temptation?
L

Seaxwyn

I have been musing on this and realised that OH is not just 'difficult', 'temperamental', etc, he actually has serious problems. Think we have been in denial about this. I am going to go both to the CAB and the doctor with him, as leaving him to do it himself, the problem doesn't get dealt with.

Karmacat

That sounds like a really good idea, Seaxwyn.

hypno06

Life.....too bloomin complicated sometimes :rotfl:

beanielou

Good idea on reducing the OD.

Sea78

Seaxwyn wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

Thanks for popping in lovelybirchtrees - lovely to see you! Hope all is well with you and your OH too.

Chev, the thing is that I am paying the debts back at very low rates. Most of it is 0% or 3.9%. If I go on a DMP I risk losing those rates. Only the OD has high rates and that's the one i'm seriously thinking about shifting. I've read the DMP threads on here and observed that generally those that have a positive experience of DMPs are those that have been missing payments and defaulting. People who have a good record of payment tend to get lots of hassle and high interest rates imposed. I don't want to risk that.

Also, I have a large mortgage so want to be in a good position to get good rates when the current fixed term ends, so I don't want to be in the 'credit risk' bracket.

Just for info, as I know you've made your decision hun, but in case any others are reading, -
I never ever missed a payment and had excellent credit history. And all my creditors accepted the DMP eventually and all have stopped interest.

xxx

Seaxwyn

Thanks Sea - that's helpful to know.

I've had a lovely day as the trains are not running and the remote connection to the office didn't work, so I have been guilt-free walking in the woods with friends and sledging with the kids. All the things people have written on here were running through my mind, as well as others, and I know I have some big issues to deal with. Leaving OH is not an option, but dealing differently with his problems is.