A fresh start

pelirocco

I wonder if the situation was reversed i.e The husband working harder then the wife,how many ofyou would post kick her out? I would suspect that the OP (like most posters ) posts when things get on top of her, this could easily be read as things are bad all the time

beanielou

pelirocco wrote: »

I wonder if the situation was reversed i.e The husband working harder then the wife,how many ofyou would post kick her out? I would suspect that the OP (like most posters ) posts when things get on top of her, this could easily be read as things are bad all the time

So you know that as a fact?
I think not.

Seaxwyn

Hi Karmacat, my debt is going down because of loan payments and min payments on credit cards. Just the OD is creeping up.

Pelirocco, I agree. I do think I give a one-sided picture on here because I write about financial stuff. My OH has a lot of problems and is hard to live with but I don't think anyone would really think he should be thrown out just because of that.

dawnybabes

Could he not claim DLA ?

Well done on the reduction - thats £100 a week you;ve knocked off !

Karmacat

So the OD is wiggle room, sort of? And you know you need wiggle room ... its very *expensive* wiggle tho, isn't it - can you use a card for that? I've heard of loans that are granted on a drawn down facility - where you get a loan for a nominal, say, £5000, but only take £1000 at one time, because thats all you need (its usually for building work) - does that spark any interest?

lovelybirchtrees

Dear Seaxwyn
I pop in and out but am very pleased to see that you have made progress this year even if you don't feel it is enough. My prayers are with you, your dad, kids and even OH. I pray that 2011 is a better year for all of you. £5000 down is £5000 down. Don't knock it. Feel proud that progress has been made.

chevalier

Originally Posted by Seaxwyn
I can't close it because the loan goes out of it, and it would creep up because many months, I don't have enough income to cover my costs.


Originally Posted by Sea78 Hun - this screams out loud to me that in fact you are more than a suitable candidate for a DMP, where you *do* pay back everything you owe.
xxxx

I agree with Sea Seax, if you need to use debt to meet the minimum outgoings per month, then this one of the criteria for a DMP.

Dang girl why do you want to be so masochistic about paying these bloodsuckers back at a rate THEY WANT. Why do it at a rate that YOU WANT.

Can I also point out that if you go on a DMP ie a joint one, you would probably be able to go part time as you feel you need to do for your DS, so you wouldn't have to agonise over working full time or helping DS.

I am now officially giving up on trying to see you would be better off without your OH. People who agree with corrosive resentment as a definition of their relationship should not be together. You being a live in care in the community person, is not the reason for you to be together, THERE ARE PROFESSIONALS FOR THAT.

But you want to stick with him that is your choice. But it is one that I bet you would never in a million years reccommend to your best friend if she came with these problems to you....

So best of luck with the finances and working through those. I get too upset on your behalf to help with the other stuff any longer

*fades to lurkdom*
chev

Seaxwyn

Thanks everyone.

Thanks for popping in lovelybirchtrees - lovely to see you! Hope all is well with you and your OH too.

Chev, the thing is that I am paying the debts back at very low rates. Most of it is 0% or 3.9%. If I go on a DMP I risk losing those rates. Only the OD has high rates and that's the one i'm seriously thinking about shifting. I've read the DMP threads on here and observed that generally those that have a positive experience of DMPs are those that have been missing payments and defaulting. People who have a good record of payment tend to get lots of hassle and high interest rates imposed. I don't want to risk that.

Also, I have a large mortgage so want to be in a good position to get good rates when the current fixed term ends, so I don't want to be in the 'credit risk' bracket.

On OH... i can see why you are frustrated with me, chev, but dumping the father of my children and someone who for ten years was the love of my life is not something I can do. The relationship is obviously more complicated than I have expressed on here.

He's never succeeded in getting any kind of benefit at all. I realise I will have to take this up for him as he is useless with officialdom. So I hereby make a resolution to make an appointment with the CAB as soon as the snow is gone and go with him.

Anyway, yesterday he bought £1 into the household by winning a pub quiz! This was part of my effort to make him socialise more, he thoroughly enjoyed himself and I hope will go regularly. Usually the winnings would be bigger but last night there was a very low turnout because of the snow. Right now he is out gritting and salting the pavements round here.

Wordsmith

Hi, Seaxwyn. Well done on making such fantastic strides forward with the debt. I really admire the thought you put into your posts and the levelness you show when replying to posts that you don't agree with, and the gratitude you express for people's input, even if it is not what you want to hear. Your strength is coming through more and more. So, keep with it, good luck with your decisions, and never fear to rant on here if you need to.

Karmacat

Morning, Seaxwyn! I really want your thread to be able to move on on your terms - no matter what it sounds like to us, you've made your decision in relation to OH, and in relation to DMPs - and you've made it perfectly plain several times. Even tho I agree with some of what chev says, thats about me and chev, not you - you've made your choices.

So. Thinking about this overdraft - didn't Martin write an article recently saying that overdrafts are one of the most expensive ways to borrow? It looks like you're finding the truth of that - so. If you transferred it onto 0% ccs and it crept up again, as long as your net debt was going down, would it matter? I'm trying to think through the logic of it, and I can't see that it would, as long as you didn't start using it for fripperies