A fresh start

chevalier

Seax if he is that far in denial, then maybe seriously he need councelling about it. If he cannot see how hard he is making life for you AND the children then he needs some help with this, more than you can give him. And I STILL think you need to get control of his accounts and give him pocket money. If he won't be an earner, then he doesn't get to have unlimited access to his accounts
sorry if this is harsh, but his behaviour is very childlike, and that has consequences
chev

ps and i would make him sign on or at least ask if he can get a beneift if he declares the odd hours he does. If he is nearly 60 can he just go onto the state pension early or something?

Seaxwyn

He does need counselling. I don't know what I can do to make him though. I'm not the person who can help him, we are too entrenched in our positions really.

I'd like to get access to his account, but his spending isn't the greatest problem, he is not really a spender and a lot of the time (eg now) has no money in his account anyway so he effectively does live on pocket money from me.

He has a block about benefits but I have once again emailed him the link for Jobseekers Allowance.

taxi73

I thought I was reading things there...you once again e mailed him the link for jobseekers!!!

Does he not talk to you?

I really do feel for you as it causes so much stress.

Seaxwyn

I do talk to him, but he likes to do things online, so he is much more likely to read a link than to make a phonecall. I will remind him again this morning though. I feel bad complaining about him so much on here as he is not a bad person, there is just this one little area of life he has difficulty with!

taxi73

It's not such a little area of life though as it impacts greatly on your emotional well being.
And also has financial implications.
Could he become a taxi driver in your area?..that will bring money in and he can rent a car off somebody.

Karmacat

I can hear he's not a bad person, Seaxwyn, but I'm with Taxi, its not a little area of life. But I'm with you too, you can't make him go to counselling. Thing is, if he subsists on pocket money from you ...... well, I bet you can finish the end of that sentence.

Seaxwyn

I've just made my last min payment of the month, so altogether I've paid £688.19 off credit cards, though with interest and a balance transfer fee, the total CC debt has only fallen by £598.98. So 1/6 of the way to the £3600 challenge.

Seaxwyn

Woo hoo! I have just reduced our electricity bill standing order by £21/month.

Karmacat

Excellent! All the stuff that we *don't* have to find helps us too! I have a decision to make.... about paying off that Northern Rock loan from savings - if I do it now in full, I'll save years of interest. And since I'm downsizing if I move to Three Bridges, I can afford to, and it reduces outgoings by £157 a month. I'm still not completely sure about it all, because I'm not quite sure how many of my clients will move with me, but its certainly an option.

Anyway - sorry, you just reminded me of that issue. Good for you on the fuel!

Seaxwyn

Sounds to me like paying off the loan is a good idea.

And I had completely missed that you are moving to Three Bridges!! I knew you were selling up in Brighton but I didn't know Three Bridges was on the cards. We would practically be neighbours! My brother lives near there (Pound Hill) so I know there are some nice walks in the area.