A fresh start

taxi73

same here what the others said

chevalier

thing is if you transferred it to his name and then he didn't pay it, would it have a negative effect on you? Ie if he defaulted would it affect your chances of getting a good mortgage rate for example.

On the other hand if the debt was in his name, and he got the chasing letters etc, then maybe it would do him a power of good.

You know my feelings on him not pulling his weight so I won't reiterate them here.

Well done on getting the freelance work for 2 days a week. And the trip to India. Course that does commit you to working there until November, is that feasible considering how you feel about work?
chev

Seaxwyn

Thanks everyone.

Chev - If I do get a good offer from the freelance client, I will have to give up the India trip. I haven't confirmed the flights yet, and can keep them on hold for a while. So either way, a good outcome.

I don't have to make the balance transfer decision immediately. I will try to talk to OH about it again. I don't really care if he takes it on and messes up, he's done that before, his own credit reference must be shot and doesn't seem to affect mine. But I hope he would manage to at least make the minimum payments and that would be one payment I don't have to make.

beanielou

I could not go back to living like that again & that is no reflection on you Seaxwyn.

Seaxwyn

I've had a - courteous and flattering - rejection for the job. And a Facebook friend request from the employer!

Also confirmed the details of my freelance job - two days a week from next week at decent but not spectacular day rate, until the appoint a permanent person so it could be very short or it could go on a few weeks but I don't expect it to be long-term. so my trip to India looks more secure.

hypno06

So as rejections go, that wasn't too bad! Who knows, something may come from it yet!

Seaxwyn

Indeed.

But I'm feeling anxious about jobs. I went out for a drink with five former colleagues last night. We all used to do more or less the same job, now they are all in very senior posts. I could never do the jobs they do, and I wonder where I stepped off the path. I feel scared about the need to go on working hard in the best-paying jobs I can get for the next 20 years or so, I'd like to do something a bit gentler and I'm finding the pace of my own not particularly taxing job more than I can cope with.

Oh well, it's payday today, and my debt is lower than it was a month ago, despite having paid out £1000 insurance excess. Let's hope it will still be under on 1st August.

hypno06

I think the time has come to do some real soul searching about what *you* want - truthful, tough, scary, whatever it may be.....

Amongst this you will be able to fit in the family elements, and the finance elements, in one way or another - maybe not the ways that you thought you would want to, but no one will get harmed in all of this - people, whether teenagers, partners, or finance houses are far more resiliant than we may give them credit for!

If, at the end of the day, you are constantly feeling that everything you do is second best, then it is time to do something about it.....a big leap, maybe, but it is one that you can make.

The only person stopping you, is you.

You know where I am if you need a chat x

Triciaxx

Delurking to say that I do agree with Hypno. You need a total rethink as you are obviously not happy in your work. I've read your diary in fits and starts over the past months and, while you are doing a great job at debt busting and holding the household together, you have come across to me as dissatisfied with each job you have had - whether freelance or employed. Am I right? or reading the situation totally wrong?

You can only go on for so long in difficult or unsatisfactory situations without burning out. Please take some time to consider your own needs and wants. You are the lynch pin of the family and cannot support them if you go under.

I hope you don't mind me saying this but my ExDH was unwilling to take any responsibility or even discuss things and it did drive me to a near breakdown - the final straw being my job.

Wordsmith

Hypno and Tricia have said it so eloquently, I can't add anything - but I do agree with them totally.